Anxiety sufferers...how do you cope?

[Afternooninthepark]

Every day I feel as though I am swimming through a pool of treacle with concrete boots on and only just about holding onto my sanity by the skin of my teeth.
I have always been an anxious person but the last few years have been really bad and I am getting to the point where I honestly feel as though I am going to go insane soon!
I have so many physical symptoms from the anxiety (IBS/sensitive tum/indigestion/nausea, headaches, light headed at times, jaw aches, muscle tension/aches all over, feel weak and shaky (the list goes on 🙄) I am stuck in a vicious cycle of anxiety, physical symptoms, anxiety and then depression from the weight of it all, but outwardly I put a smile on my face and everyone thinks I’m ok.
None of this is helped by the fact my ds(13) at times has school anxiety/refusal and my mum has Alzheimer’s and dad isn’t coping well with her diagnosis. I know we all have our burdens but I honestly feel like a ton weight is on me at times!
I’m 46 so maybe my age may be contributing (perimenopause?) but I have tried so, so many things and nothing is helping, so far I have tried

Exercise - I walk for an hour every day with my dog
I am careful with my diet as I have IBS I don’t eat too much crap, no coffee, no alcohol etc
No drugs or other stimulants
I have had various counselling sessions and last year 3 months of CBT, none of that helped me
I listen to a relaxation/hypnotherapy app each day

My gp keeps offering me antidepressants the current one being Sertraline but I am absolutely petrified to take them, I just can not have any more physical symptoms (I am a PA for a disabled lady and drive a lot), the thought of having a bad stomach or feeling dizzy or having headaches from the side effects just exacerbates the anxiety (so, so stupid I know, just can not rationalise atm!!)

I just don’t know what else to do?
Any advice? What has helped you get through or just cope better with all consuming anxiety?
Apologies for the long ramblings but am hoping some fellow anxiety sufferers may see this post and can offer some advice which I might have overlooked in my quest for a peaceful mind 😊

I’ve had decades of anxiety leading into depression. Started around 23 and on and off now 61. These last 5 yrs it’s never really gone always in the background.
Like you these last few years I’ve been a&e, primary mh team, tension
Headache/aching, teeth aching and tongue sore.

Firstly I’d get your hormones,, b12, thyroid checked
If hormones are depleted then try hrt, there’s different types of that also, and no one fits all so may be case of trying a few.
Is the a menopause clinic in your area/ near you , you could go to.

If not any of the above , I’d try. Spray magnesium (I use Ancient Minerals) B50 tablets, zinc and then try something like Ashwaganda, really good for anxiety.

If after say 6 weeks of the above, then I’d try propranolol, then maybe ad if no improvement

I went straight to ad’s and wish now I’d tried an alternative, as once on sometimes hard to come off

I have too just started sertraline 50mg side effects havent been too bad if am honest. They have saved my sanity and marriage.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

I'd say that now your physical symptoms are increasing and not going away it may be time to try mild medication. Especially is CBT hasn't helped.

I had to go on citalopram for a while when my anxiety got so bad I was getting increasing physical symptoms, including frequent panic attacks.

It really helped to take the weight off a little and I felt better equipped to deal with it. I came off my tablets about a year ago,I just weaned myself off.

I must admit,I do have a supply still incase I ever get so bad again.

You shouldn't be ashamed of using medication to help you through at times. You are strong for knowing yourself so well and taking steps to help yourself.

I've suffered all my life with anxiety. I have however found beta-blockers to be most helpful in alleviating the physical symptoms of anxiety, and giving me a chance to break the cycle. They would also be very helpful in getting you over the any initial side effects of starting ADs if you decided to.

Key thing with ADs is to start at a low dose and build up, no matter what anyone else advises. So find out the average adult daily dose of your AD and take half that by either breaking tablet or asking for a lower dose.

I've been taking over the counter 5-HTP 100mg tablets for 18 months now. Take 1 a day. They have worked brilliantly for me. I've struggled with severe anxiety all my life (I'm now 60) to various degrees and these tablets have changed my life.
I never told anyone about my anxiety (or starting these tablets) but I'm sure it was blatantly obvious and a few people have mentioned recently how chilled, calm, happier I seem.
Definitely worth a try.

I suggest HRT, and maybe a bit of 5htp before bed. Thats how I manage mine.
I think a lot of SSRI antidepressants are not great for anxiety, yet theyre pushed like candy as some sort of cure-all

I’d add in some more high intensity exercise to see if that helps but then I’d take the meds. You wouldn’t hesitate to take medication if any other part of your body wasn’t working in the way it should.

I take Citalopram (20mg) I can't see a time when I won't take it. I tried 4 years a go and ended up having a breakdown. The medication alongside therapy had helped me manage my anxiety but I'm aware that it is something that I live with. I now have ways to stop myself spiralling and can cope most of the time. I wish I could afford regular therapy. I've just finished 6 sessions that I get through my work, but I can only have these every 2 years.
You sound like you've got a lot to cope with and there's no shame in struggling. I consider myself to have a medical condition which requires medical treatment. It's no coincidence that my sister and mother are both taking anti depressants. Exercise etc are all important but sometimes you need the medication to get you to a place where exercise, mindfulness, therapy etc can be used.

Mindfulness.
But not just dabbling in it. The Oxford 8 week course is taught in many places and is great.

I read the post title and my answer immediately was Citalopram. Seriously, take the meds. I was the same as you, IBS, insomnia, tense muscles, etc etc. Started on 20mg citalopram about 5 weeks ago and my mind is, for the first time in a long time, quiet. I can actually watch a TV programme and concentrate on it. Yes, I felt a bit odd for a few days, headaches, etc but it honestly did last long and the effects are great. As a PP said, if it was any other condition, you'd take the drugs.

Prozac!

I’m bipolar so I do take other meds but I have come off Prozac before so it is for anxiety rather than anything else. It helps so much, even if it’s just taking the edge off! Side effects I got were dyspepsia (easily treated and only lasts a week) and no sex drive for about a month

An SSRI. Contrary to Branleuse I have found citalopram and paroxetine life changing.

Try the prescrition you have nothing to lose.....

Take up yoga daily.....after a week of focussed 30-40 minutes yoga, you should feel the difference noticeably..learn the breathing techniques and do them for 5 minutes 3 times a day.....

Sertraline gets me through to be honest.
It’s fine.. the first couple of weeks are hard maybe you will feel worse but it helps ! I am normal with it!
I always look at it like you wouldn’t refuse treatment for a broken bone or similar. Just because you can see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Other alternative treatments which have helped are Accupuncture and exercise

@Afternooninthepark sending un-mumsnetty hugs as I know the feeling .

Running is my coping mechanism- I never want to do it and the thought makes me anxious (typical 🤣🤦‍♂️) but it never fails to make me feel like a new woman for a few hours after and switches my brain off temporarily!

Any side effects will be offset by the fact that the medication will make you less anxious almost straight away.

I have suffered chronic anxiety for years, I found meditation helped brilliantly for a while and then stopped. I've accepted that I probably will be on medication for the rest of my life. I was off it for a few weeks and was doing well without it but then the anxiety came crashing back. Meditation, cbt and mindfulness did nothing to help. The minute I went back on medication it instantly helped me. I still suffer some anxiety and really bad days of feeling overwhelmed but thanks to quite a small dose of medication I'm able to manage it. Anxiety is horrendous, no one knows how exhausting it is unless they suffer it themselves. Hope you find something that works.

Propranolol.

Thank you everyone for responding it’s really helped me feel less alone, will definitely take on board all the suggestions and I am going to seriously consider the meds, although I am shitting myself over it but need my life back!

Can you take a week off work and start the sertaline O P? You must be entitled to a week off at some point! Having that time without other demands will make it easier to get past the initial side effects of the meds. There is a lot of nausea and sleep disruption when you first start. You have to start with 50mg. You will be tempted to stop but get through the week and stuck with it. You will notice great improvements.

But try to combine starting meds with a week off work and just take the meds and spend as much time outdoors walking during that week. Eat veg. Care for yourself like a babe for one week. You deserve care and some relief from this, anxiety is so debilitating, I know. I also know the sertaline does work.

Thanks Hotel, I really do need to take some time off but even if I take some annual leave from my job, I have a 13 year old son who also has anxiety and a mum with Alzheimer’s and a dad who isn’t coping well with her, it’s so difficult to take time out of my life atm 😞

Venlafaxine and Propanolol. With very rare stints on Diazepam.

I take citalopram for anxiety, one of the side effects is that for first few days it can heighten anxiety which is a bit crap, the sweaty palms/dry mouth/nausea/odd dreams all passed within 2 weeks so bearable, it has really made a difference to being able to cope & be in right space to try other methods.

In the past they were enough alone for me to get back on track but unfortunately I also developed anxiety around medication so didn't take them early on & things got a lot worse.

Exercise, no alcohol or caffeine, CBT, beta blockers and sertraline- the latter 3 of which were absolute game changers after nearly 2 decades of turmoil.

Only been on the meds 3 weeks and feel like a different person/ foolish for not doing so before.