to not want to shake hands with all my students every lesson

[DrSeuss]

New directive from on high at the school where I teach. As of next September, all staff must greet staff at the door (most, including me, do this already) and offer a handshake, fist bump or high five to each child.

I don't really want to and can see so many pitfalls.

1. Some of my students have ASD. Social interaction for them is difficult at the best of times.
2. A couple are survivors of abuse. Touch is a major issue for them.
3. At least a quarter are Muslims. Touch between adults and children past the age of puberty is a major issue. I have no wish to give offence and am more than happy to respect their faith.
4. Bodily autonomy. Why/how do I compel them to shake my hand?
5. quite a few will just see it as another reason to be difficult or play the clown. I expect numerous "near misses" which they will find hilarious even if I refuse to react.
6. DD, aged 15, thinks it's ridiculous. She's fairly average. If she hates it, they probably all will.
7. I know where their hands go and suspect how little they are washed! What am I supposed to do, shake thirty hands then use hand sanitiser in front of them? How will that "foster good relationships"?

As I say, this is for all staff, it is a directive from SLT and I don't see how I can just ignore it. They have form for actively watching to see if such directives are followed. Any ideas appreciated, thanks!

No YANBU for all of the reasons you have stated, Hopefully it will fizzle out after a few weeks, or you'll all be asked not to do it with the first Norovirus outbreak (usually by October half term...)

Ludicrous! For all the reasons you mention but particularly number 4.

DS class teacher (year 3) did this on the first day back after Christmas holidays. It was quite sweet to witness.

Every day? And in secondary school? Errr, I think not !

Knew it was that fecker Paul Dix

This will be the tip of it OP- child kicks off- your fault for 'neglecting their relationship'. No removals from class- that's you failing to assert your authority.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Well, this Paul Dix sounds like a prat, doesn’t he?

We had to do this in primary and then some student from the area saw the americanised videos on Instagram where the children touch a picture to show how they want to be greeted and the teacher does it. A few people were saying how amazing it was 🙄🙄 but the rest of us were thinking what a waste of time. We always greet the pupils anyway with a smile but this is just too far

That's what wasting money on Paul Dix gets the school.
Next step will be any bad behaviour is the fault of the teacher for not having a suitably enthusiastic secret handshake for every child.

Why are schools drinking the koolaid?

Also the logic is awful: consent is really important... unless that person is in a position of authority and then you've got no ability to consent to having your personal space invaded.

This is so poorly thought through. I suffered, particularly in my teens with a skin picking condition brought on by anxiety and left my thumbs peeled, rough and sometimes bleeding. The thought of making contact with another persons hands would have sent me into a tail spin.
Why can’t these poor kids be given the personal space we take for granted as adults?

I would refuse to do this. All those manky students who haven't washed their hands after being to the loo; the same for the students where the staff haven't washed their hands either! What about if someone has eaten nuts or dairy before school and then touched someone with a severe allergy. Get as many teachers on side and write a letter of refusal.

It’s a lovely thing to do as a teacher who has individually assessed the needs of their class and decided that in that particular time and space, the time and energy this takes up will pay dividends. It’s an absolutely fucking moronic thing to do if it leads to teachers and students mechanically hand shaking in a sullen way just to try to get into the bloody classroom.

Glad it’s not just me! We’ve had the same training in my school, and then a round of redundancies. What a waste of money it was. We’ve been told not to buy any books or pencils but could apparently afford this training.

To be fair, as well, thinking back to when I was a student, there were:

• older teachers who were premenopausal or menopausal and I suspect had hot flushes and hot sweaty hands
• teachers who all the students (totally unfairly) had decided were paedophiles
• teachers all the students (again totally unfairly) said didn’t wash

And so on.

It’s a workplace. It is totally inappropriate for you to be forced to shake hands with hundreds of people daily, whether you want to or you don’t.

There were a couple of teachers at my secondary school who I'd have refused to shake hands with!

This has disaster written all over it.

We were asked to start doing this (back in September). Quite a few of us went to the head with our reservations (similar to the ones you’ve outlined). It was agreed that as long as we meet and greet, no physical contact is needed. This was a big relief for me as I hate touching.

I stand at my classroom door and say “Morning!” as they go in. I try to give a personal greeting (e.g. “Hi Josh - how did the exam go?”) to a few, and vary it from lesson to lesson so that no-one is left out over the week.

Crazy. Greetings at door—fine. Forced physical contact—not fine. Put your concerns in a professional letter and get union (and colleague) backing. It’s not thought through. As someone who does a lot of teaching and learning training, my pet hate is this sort of rubbish generally generated by people who haven’t seen a real classroom in years!

As a teenager I would have absolutely hated to have to do this!

I'll start by saying I have nothing to do with the education system, but this sounds utterly ridiculous!I can't believe schools are spending money on this shit.

Ridiculous, silly nonsense.

It's a class of teenagers. You're not greeting guests at a wedding.

What about a nod of the head? That's a good polite greeting with no bodily contact.

ScruffGin
Schools are buying in snake oil because they are hunting for quick fixes.

Also the likes of Paul Dix (and fellow consultants who've got a vested financial interest in selling shit programmes) are the driving force behind school shaming campaigns for any behaviour policy that doesn't revolve around teacher blaming and hot chocolate. They are actively misrepresenting isolation rooms, starting factually inaccurate claims about isolation etc because they can claim their product will solve the problems.

They are also against fixed term and permanent exclusions too, think schools should pander to the whims of defiant children and direct huge amounts of time and resources towards those who are intent on ruining other children's education.

Where there are real issues with inclusion, isolation and exclusions they should be investigated but what these consultants do is deliberately misrepresent events and make emotive claims to suit their need to line their pockets (which oddly enough means even less money available for genuinely vulnerable students who need support because schools have millions of 'leave lessons to have hot chocolate and bitch about staff' programmes for anyone who thinks rules don't apply to them).

Their snake oil is all about lining their pockets and has nothing to do with what is best for children.

I would do the greetings but not the physical contact unless the student themselves initiated it. It all sounds a bit forced and artificial, like being welcomed to the Disney store.

DD's primary do this. She loves it. Secondary school not so sure.

Or you could buy a 'comedy hand!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bristol-Novelty-MD162-Hairy-Hands/dp/B003ZIC98A/ref=sr11_116?keywords=Joke+hand&qid=1560452773&s=gateway&sr=8-116

I saw a teacher who offered a high five. A hug or a happy dance - no touching. Your concerns are valid, why not suggest a tweak to your bosses?

Let's say 28 per class, 5 times a day. 140 handshakes a day. 700 a week.
Whilst you are waiting to shake hands the kids will be pissing around as you can't keep an aye on them. Loads of kids will donthe 'start to shake thumb to nose' gag.

A total waste of time and energy. People pay a lot of money for crap. Attached is the aforementioned trainer's tips for 21st century teaching 🤨