AIBU about my Brazilian husband's behaviour?

[firsttimejoj]

I'm in a pickle with my Brazilian husband and looking for advice from anyone who understands Brazilian/Latino culture...

My husband has a new female friend that he made in Brazil when he went there by himself earlier this year. She is the same age as him (52) and is a friend of a friend.

They WhatsApp each other a lot, sometimes every day and their messages are really intimimate, much more so than two male friends. I'm ashamed to say that I know because I noticed he was deleting some msgs and we had an argument about why he felt the need to do that (he said it was because I was controlling). Since then I've been sporadically checking his phone and some of the msgs are, in my opinion, inappropriate, whilst others are ok.

They talk about how much they miss each other, have shared a sultry selfie of themselves and my husband has shared pics that I have taken of him with the kids. This wk they exchanged voice msgs where they said to each other "I miss your face and eyes and can't wait to see you again" and my husband called her "Linda, amor and gatinha" (beautiful, my love and kitty/sexy) and he asked for her new home address. He never calls me those things anymore but does to her.

In his msgs, he has never mentioned me or sent a pic of me, even though there are lovely family pics taken at the same time as the pics that he does send her.

Ugh, I feel absolutely in despair because when I've bought it up in the past, husband goes off on one and says that I'm imagining it and all this affectionate talk he has with her is typical in Brazil, but I just can't let it go. I've asked him why we never speak to her together and he's not given me an answer.

AIBU?

Okay I am being nosey but what was his reason (that he told you) for going to Brazil earlier this year?

I'm imagining it

He's s gas lighter.

and all this affectionate talk he has with her is typical in Brazil

Suuuure.

Hes probably already slept with her. Sorry.

OP i know I'm only reiterating what others have said, but this is DEF not Brazilian culture, but it's not just that, it's the opposite of Brazilian culture.
Yes PDAs and OTT messages are more usual in Brazil - publicly declaring love on Facebook for example is perfectly normal. BUT it's very much with your partner, not with friends while you're in a relationship! I have a lot of friends from Sao Paulo and others from Fortaleza and Salvador. All the men in my friends couples are quite possessive and had to adjust when in the UK - because back home, most would wear rings when in relationships (pre engagement) and would not have close mixed gender friendships - certainly not 1:1, though there would be groups of mixed friends. It seemed to me to be part of the (comparably) macho culture where the men would go out with the men and the women with women. The only exception I can think of is dancing, as most Brazilian dancing is much more close contact than UK, and much sexier in style, but again it's always clear as to who belongs to who. Brazil is largely Catholic and notions of family, loyalty and marriage are pretty strong.

Hope you get some answers

How are you OP?