To expect an adult man to TAKE HIS (swear) BOOTS OFF?

[Psynonym]

I am married to a professional gardener. We live rurally and have a 3yr old ds, a dog and a cat. I'm sick of living in a pig sty.

Today DH has a day off and has gone walking in the hills with friends. I asked him to drop ds off at preschool on the way so I could have a wee lie in while he's off on a jolly. Seems fair.

Yesterday, while at home on a v rainy day with ds and dog who both had cabin fever, I swept and steam mopped all our downstairs floors. They were filthy. I know it's not life changing work but frankly it was a fucking mission.

This mornig I came down at 8 after my wee lie in to wave ds off to preschool (he goes for 2 hrs three days a week, I am a SAHM until September when he'll be in ft school). 'D'H had put his filthy work boots on and walked ALL ROUND THE HOUSE. Upstairs, downstairs, in the living room and kitchen. EVERYWHERE. Great clods of mud all over the floors. I was cross and he mumbled a whiney "Sorreeee" as he left.

Why would an adult male do this?! Does he not have eyes? Or a brain?

Not the crime of the century I grant you but being a SAHM is sometimes bloody thankless and a little bit of consideration for the amount of work I do to prevent us living in abject squalor wouldn't go amiss.

Does anyone else have partners that do 'dirty' jobs? How do you deal with the detritus? I'm thinkig of setting him up a bed in the shed (he would love it, ffs).

Thank you for getting to the end of this pointless but cathartic rant.

I have no advice but I understand OP. My husband is a mechanic and the oil hand prints everywhere & the black tide line in the bath drive me insane. Plus the boots on in the house! Currently have a crawling DS and people still walk in with their filthy shoes on. We live on a yard so it’s not clean when you step out of your car and reach the front door. So many people stand in chicken poo and waltz straight in. Argggghhh!

Tell him to clean the floors later when he gets back from his nice walk.

That would have really annoyed me too. I get irked when DH walks into the lounge in his slippers when I've washed the floor as I can't bear to see shoe prints left and you can see them when the floor dries a bit still.

Anyway you can get some shoe covers that he can wear over his work boots?

Yes tell him to clean everything.
Surely.
I mean he should just clean it without being asked. But that’s another story.

dogparty The hand prints! Yes! Our light switches and door frames are permenantly grey. I no longer own any white towels. It's like he's blind to it.

I am destined to gripe about this for the rest of my natural life aren't I?

He doesn't care because you are cleaning up after him. Stop cleaning his mess

I would have gone bat shit crazy at him for this!!! I hope you made him clean it all up!!

Why are you enabling him and cleaning up after him??

He’ll soon stop if he had to clean up his own mess!

If you don't clean his mess he won't!

Ditto what everyone else is saying.

Definitely do not just not clean up after him any more, stand over him and don't let him sit down until HE'S^^ bloody well done it. If he refuses then play merry hell.

He doesn't give a fig. He would happilly live in a potting shed and the more the house resembles one, the better.

I worked for a spell when DS was 1ish and refused to clear up after everyone because I was out of the house as much as he was (and earning more money). We lived in a total shit tip for a year.

op is cleaning it because he isn't going to come home and go oh no its not been done best crack on with it. Is he.
He will come home not notice and add more dirt.
Can you put up a big unmissable sign saying no boots indoors?

I can't exactly have me, ds and dog spreading it around all day can I?

I bet he wouldn't do that in a client's house.

I thought I had it bad with DH - all I ask is that he takes his shoes of within the 1.5x1.5m square of hallway space between the door and the stairs.

But nooooooo. Wanders all the way into the kitchen with his outdoor shoes on, into the lounge and round and round the bloody garden before taking them off. Even if it's a rainy day and the cleaner has just been!

So fucking annoying this.
I would seriously seriously tell him buck up or I’m leaving.
So disrespectful. Can’t abide thoughtless people.

I can't exactly have me, ds and dog spreading it around all day can I

That sounds like a him problem not a you problem. Do not clean it.

Be a shame if you didn't make him any tea as you were too busy doing the floors again...

My XH used to do this - it's not so much the extra work 9although it is that too !) it the complete disrespect for something you have put effort into. My Xh was a scientist - with him I asked him how he would feel if I smashed up an experiment he had just set up. with your DH I would ask him how he'd feel if you dug up and wrecked a load of plants he'd just planted out (or some similar example).

The thing is they wouldn't dream of disrespecting a colleague or a friends work in this way, but it's OK to wreck your wife's hard work - it shows you how he thinks of you and values you. It's not the dirt, it's the attitude.

I sympathise as DP is the same. Will come in from the garden in muddy wellys and walk around the house in them.

I used to clean the house every Sunday. A few years ago DP was depressed and under the influence of a very toxic friend, and all thought for me left. A few incidents happened at that time including him coming into a just-hoovered house in said boots, noticing the clean floor yet proceeding to walk mud around the place whilst smirking at me. He also told me repeatedly that we'd have to do lots of cleaning before his friend came to stay, then going off driknking with aforementioned friend and leaving me to do it all.

As a result I went on strike. I didn't clean the bathroom for 3 months (and only gave in as friends of mine were coming round and it was filthy) and didn't hoover. He didn't notice!!!!!! And the house has stayed that way since, with neither of us cleaning much at all.

Should add my BIL was a farmer - he would never in a million years have tramped his work boots or wellies around the house - they were always left at the door, it's how we could tell if he was in or not !

He's going to said friends for dinner after lovely walk isn't he. So I'm doing dinner and bed time on my own, having done floors again amd entertained ds most of the day.

Still, I'm going to cook myself a steak and sit down with a glass of something in a clean house for a few hours!

I recently did a deep clean and realised how much better I felt for it, so have gone back to doing it weekly. He doesn't really notice. I yelled at him one time to take his boots off at the door and he grumbled, saying just because I'd hoovered once I was getting fussy about it. This was the third weekend in a row I'd hoovered!!!!!!

He's going away for six weeks soon. First thing I'm doing is a thorough clean, in the knowledge that, actually, I won't have to do it for a while as I take my shoes off at the door. I can't wait to be able to enjoy a clean house for more than 30 minutes!!!

Leave the steam cleaner out for him and tell him to start cleaning up after himself.

My brother’s like this, he’s also a gardener! He also lets his dog run round the house covered in mud.

He moved out of our mums house over a year ago and she still does his laundry for him otherwise he’ll just wear his clothes til they’re solid with dirt!