Why doesn't my friend say 'Thank you' and if you are one of those people who don't, why is that?!

[Elmo311]

Hi all ,

Just sitting here at 11:35pm still thinking about my friend who came over today.
I know she's struggling with cash, she is going to give birth next week too so I know the pressure is on. But I bought us both lunch today, and she never even said thanks?

I also bought her a gift for her DC and still no thank you?

She also said she had no Tiny Baby sleepsuits so I offered her some that my 10week old DC has grown out of now that she took ..... still nothing?

Am I a mug or what ?!

I would've definitely thanked her had it been the other way round!

Well, if someone doesn't say "thank you" more than twice, I don't give them any more reason to say it. It's just rude. If a 3 year old manage to say a polite "thank you", there's no reason whatsoever not to.

I'm a bit OTT with thankyou's and think I say it too much and I'm the ultimate thank you card and gift consumer. My OH is really poor at thank you's and if I'm honest I really resent him over it. I find it embarrassing when he can't muster a thank you to my family when he receives Birthday gifts for example, and he's stood right there in front of them.
I'd offer my 'friend' nothing ever again if she behaves like yours

Thanks everyone! I am off to a wedding this weekend so trying to pack for all of us at the moment! I will take the time to reply tomorrow (as of course I'm leaving early due to routine!)

My other half said we should get my friend a gift for when baby is here, I said I already got her gifts and immediately got angry about it again cos she never thanked me !

OH also, she told me she's glad her baby is coming early as otherwise she would have been reluctant to come to my wedding next year as it may have been the day her DD turns 1!
I mean, you're a fucking bridesmaid , live half and hour away from the venue and your 1yr old won't remember, AND we have loads of kids coming so it would've been like a big party anyway.
I just feel constantly offended. I would do things for her she wouldn't do for me. And why have I made her a bridesmaid?

She also made me pay for my bridesmaid dress at her wedding, but I've paid for her one.

I am becoming a bitch and I don't like it!

To the people saying it could be due to embarrassment, what exactly do you mean by that and what about saying 'Thank you ' is embarrassing?
Maybe if I could understand more I would be less upset.
She is English so there is none of that cultural difference between us.

I cannot abide bad manners. I swear like a sailor but fizz with a silent rage if people drop their please and thank yous.

Sometimes DH or dsis will be trying to get their freshly made cuppa out of my passive aggressive fuelled Kung Fu grip but that shit isn't going anywhere till I get a thank you.

My DH never really said thank you when we first met. He just hadn't been brought up to for various reasons. He knows to do it now!

I have this with my son in law. I have done loads and given loads to him. He has never said thank you. He doesn't like me and cannot bring himself to say thank you. I assume your friend genuinely likes you if she spends 7 hours with you though.

A good question. I know that this post is old. I made dinner for my lodger as she often makes it. I said that I had a bottle of good wine but she said nothing as one would expect.yes please or thank you at the end.

So I won't be sharing my quality wine with her again. It makes me feel unappreciated.
She often asks me whether I am ok, and so on. But conversations are mostly monologues and my comments are not met with any response so it's like a one way street.

The people who don't say thank you don't want to be beholden to us. They don't want to acknowledge that we have done something nice to them because they feel indebted. They don't want us to be the bestowed.

These are people who have attitude problems already.

Mumsnetters have a very strange definition of "friend".

This is a zombie thread but I’m still jumping on to agree that manners costs nothing so she’s very rude but also it’s ridiculous to think she wouldn’t celebrate her child’s first birthday because it’s your wedding day. Which i assume, like mine, has had to be cancelled so very sorry for that OP.

Sometimes thank you has a different meaning to gratitude

Depending on the tone or if it is said too often it can have different meanings

Rue, badly brought up, entitled? Any or all might apply.

If you are fed up, say so.

I work in a school, saying' what do you say' to encourage a please and thank you is second nature

ahh sucked in to ZOMBIE THREAD

I once had someone stay with me for a couple of weeks as she was between flats, and it still rankles years later that she never thanked me once. I also find it very annoying when other people's kids don't say thank you.

I have a very good mate like this. The odd thing is that she's incredibly generous. But give her something and you get NOTHING at all which makes me feel like "Shit.....maybe what I got her was crap?"

My DH rarely says please and thank you (at home) , and it drives me mad! I keep saying pardon, if he asks for something and doesnt say please, and say you're welcome when he doesnt say thank you. If he sends me a text asking me to get something, I just answer with a question mark. I called him out on it once and he said it was quicker to text without having to add please (or even pls!) DD also says you're welcome if he doesnt thank her, and he just says "you sound like your mum!"

My culprit is my lodger, as above. No thanks for the good wine. Again.
Her monologue last night was exhausting 😥
Help!