If you're doing dinner, get on with it

[GatsbyWasntGreat]

I know this is super petty and I'm ready to be told I'm being unreasonable but FFS am I wrong to get utterly pissed off with being pestered when DH cooks dinner? When I cook, I just get on with it. If I don't know something, I use common sense or Google.

9 times out of 10, I cook because I enjoy it. DH is great with chores, doesn't need to be asked to do anything just like a grown adult BUT whenever he does cook dinner, I get pestered every two minutes.

"Do I cut this up small or really small?" "When do I put the coconut milk in?" "How much garlic shall I use?" "How long does the rice take?" "Is this chicken cooked through?" "Does this need any longer?" "How many leeks shall I put in?" "Which knife should I use for the carrots?" "Where's the grater?"

Urrrrrrrggggg.

I can completely relate to this. Also, urrrrrrrgggggg

YANBU. With every question he’s pointing out that he’s cooking and you’re not and he should be praised.

Tell him that he needs to use a recipe because giving him instructions is almost the same as doing the cooking yourself.

FFS. You might as well cook it yourself! I'd say, "Ask Google, darling", and then hide away with a glass of wine.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves! I end up cooking it myself in the end the classic line, that I still rip my DH about to this day was 'when do I know the mince is browned?' Are you effing with me here?! WHEN ITS BROWN.
I got a meat thermometer and that's helped. Whens the chicken cooked? Use the thermometer!

Good luck OP, and enjoy your dinner if it ever arrives!

Why does it take them SO LONG to do it too

Oh I’m that person. Seem to manage fine when he’s not here but if he’s there I’ll ask him a million questions about it. No idea why

I can relate, we have 2 small children. Every time he cooks get can you come and dish up for the kids, I don’t know how much they have/want. Then I have to do his.

I’d just like for once to only have to do my own

I take a new approach to these stupid questions now. I just say “I don’t know”.

He’s learning to stop asking

I just feign vagueness/ignorance/inattentiveness and walk off. ‘Ooh I dunno’.

Or I get harsh and say ‘I’m sure you can work it out’.

Or I laugh at him and tell him of course he can do it/decide on his own.

Just feign ignorance and disinterest.

Where’s the coconut milk “not sure honey, have a look for it”

When do I add the onion “not sure, check the recipe”

How small shall I cut it “totally up to you”

Oh my god I totally get you OP! DH has a PhD and manages all kinds of very complex issues at work using his intelligence and initiative but as soon as he starts cooking. "Where do we keep the wooden spoons?" (same place as always in one of the two possible drawers), "are these onions sufficiently brown?", "do I need to cook all of the vegetables in completely different pots?" aaaaaaaah! Work it out!

Do they think we are born knowing this stuff? IDGAF how you cook it provided it's cooked

I can guarantee he'll take six hours to make a 40-minute curry AND use every single pot and pan.

He just asked me how long he should sweat the veg down for. Until it's fucking sweated down, dear. Give me strength.

I swear he only turns into a needy child at the other end of a pan.

Is it too early for wine?

Good grief he is cooking! Many dont

Same here. I was making batch chilli earlier and went to the freezer for my bag of chopped onions. He said that frozen veg was old stuff, and fresh would be better. Fuck me, when did he last cook chilli? NEVER! So he has no right to tell me how to do it and what to use. Ive been using frozen chopped onions for years and today he realises there’s a bag in the freezer?

He said his mum never used frozen veg. His mum never fucking cooked anything but chips and bacon.

Knobhead.

I am like this with DH but in my defence he is a chef and does most of the cooking so knows where everything is.

My sister does this! She does most of the cooking at home for her family but if I’m there and she’s cooking or if for some reason she’s cooking at my house, she constantly asks me questions about it. I’m not exactly an amazing cook myself! It’s very frustrating but I don’t like to let on seeing as she’s being nice by cooking but just get on with it! It’s really simple things too like bacon and eggs

I wish mine would ask when the chicken is cooked. Apart from that, he's pretty good. I do get a regular list of what he's about to do when we're both doing jobs. No idea why become I always tell him to pack it in and crack on.

My husband asks me how much I want whenever he cooks. How hungry are you? How much?

I always reply “a normal amount” because I think it’s a stupid question. I’m not fussy about my portions. When I cook I just dish up and say there’s more in the pot.

The worst is him making bacon sandwiches. “Do you want four pieces?” I don’t know! However much fills the sandwich.

And when he cooks something, whether it be something from scratch or literally a frozen pizza in the oven, he asks before I’ve had my first mouthful, “is it alright?”

It’s quite endearing unless I’m in a bad mood and take it like he wants congratulating. Only because I cook 95% of the time and even if something is breathtakingly scrumptious no bugger comments on it!

Get stuck into the telly or your phone and answer his questions with 'I don't know, you'll have to figure it out yourself'.

I think it's more of a confidence thing, he clearly feels like he has to be told how to do everything. Just leave him to it and praise the good bits. Like you would do for a child.

I can guarantee he'll take six hours to make a 40-minute curry AND use every single pot and pan.

Yes every single pot and pan every time! He used 4 pots once to make pasta, pesto and veg!

Same here. it takes soooooo long. Sometimes I go in to see how he's getting on and he hasn't even actually started, (goodness know what he's spent the last half hour doing). The kitchen looks like a food/crockery/cutlery/pan explosion has occurred and the concept of tidying up as you go along (put veg peelings, packaging in the bin etc) completely bypasses him.

His saving grace is that his meals are always lovely :)

We cook different things. He'd never dream of cooking something I cook, I'd never dream of cooking something he cooks. partly because he follows complicated recipes that have to be done just right, and I like to make it up as I go along. So asking questions just doesn't happen.

I feel you! DH has no internal clock so needs constant prompting to deliver a meal on time (and even then it's always late). He also needs a LOT of hand holding.

He's the only person I've ever known who can make a quick and easy stir fry into an epic 2 hour process. He has no idea about concurrent activity and seems incapable of putting something in a pan and chopping AT THE SAME TIME. I end up getting involved just to make sure there's a meal before 8pm (with me, ds3 eats at 5.30pm. We eat together when we can).