To think this is smug (Facebook related)

[SapphireBattersea]

I've been having an awful time with my ten year old dd regarding friendship issues at school, mean girl behaviour, her being left out of stuff, people randomly freezing her out etc. it's low level bullying and really frustrating and upsetting for my dd (and us)

Out of frustration I've posted on my Facebook about it a few times, amd generally my friends have been helpful. However Every time I have done so, in have noticed another friend always pops up with a comment along the lines of oh "I've always been so lucky my (ddname) has never had any issues, she's always been so popular, and all her friends are lovely. xx"

I'm happy her daughter is happy and popular ! Cos I wouldn't wish any kid to go through what mine is. But I personally wouldn't feel the need to post it on a thread about kids having a tough time.

Aibu to think it's at best, unhelpful and at worst really smug and thoughtless?

Why would you post on Facebook about your DS like that, just exposing her to more bullying and invading her privacy massively.

Dd not ds

Yanbu, and my solution on my feed is to put that person on restricted. Some people just aren't very good at communicating, and only listen with a view to thinking about themselves.

What possess you to advertise your (and more importantly your dds) problems via facebook . please stop giving ammunition and then disliking the responses you receive!!!!

I don't think Facebook is the place to be discussing your ten year olds friendship problems, if you have an issue just discuss it with the teacher.

Your friend's smug. Stop posting on FB about your daughter's problems.

Two points: I would not use Facbook for this purpose - direct message sympathetic friends/family.
Yes, your 'friend' is annoying and smug, I would move her to be an 'acquaintance' on FB.

I don't think there is anything wrong with posting about this on Facebook, people on there are supposedly your friends, after all! People pretending everything is perfect on there is worse!

However, I would create a list of your more supportive friends and set the privacy of your posts about your daughter so that just those people can see them.

I think the facebook comment is unhelpful, the implication being that your dd is not popular and has somehow brought all this bullying on herself.
However, I agree with pp - don't post about this on facebook, speak to your dd's teachers.

Heavens, don't put it on FB. You're just begging for a smug grenade, OP. FB is where smug people thrive! Tread carefully.
It sucks, what's happening to your DD. And sadly, it's all too common in primary school. I hope happier days come quickly for your DD.

I am really stunned your think your friend is the issue.

Why the hell are you publicly posting your child's problems on face book like that? That's awful. These things should be handled sensitively and are not face book gossip.

Posting something so private and sensitive on FB is inappropriate and will open you up to inappropriate comments like this.

If I confided in a family member about something as sensitive as this and they plastered it on fb I'd be very hurt. It isn't helping your dd so consider her privacy before you post again.

She's being mean but please don't put this sort of information on Facebook, it's not fair on your daughter.

Well she must feel shit I side to get do much pleasure from rubbing your face in it.
Not the action of a happy person.

I agree with PP’s, my DS(12) has had a few friendship/school/bullying issues since starting Y7 last year, and there is not a cat in hells chance I’d post about it on FB, it really is very unfair to your DD for everyone to know about her issues!

That aside, yes your friends comments are unhelpful so put her on your restricted list so she can’t see if you choose to keep posting about your DD.

My Facebook is set to private and I only have close family on there and people that I consider friends. Even this friend I'm talking about is someone I've know half my life (and is actually lovely in real life).

I'm not the only person to post for advice like this or just to vent, I've seen it myself plenty of times

Thanks for the helpful comments

I just wish some kids didn't have to be so mean 🙁

Is she smug about other things as well or is it a clumsy way of showing empathy? That she means something like that she is glad that she doesn't have to deal with such difficult problems but sorry you have to although she can't offer any advice?

@cranstonmanor not that I've noticed!

Seems to be child related, for example something else I've just remembered, the other week another friend posted an article about anxiety in children (her child suffers from anxiety) ...lo and behold "oh I'm glad my kids have never had this, I'm so lucky they're so well balanced and happy"

I was like 🤦🏻‍♀️

So it's probably not just me she does it to

I just find it unhelpful and unnecessary

Sort of implies she's a superior parent as well to bring up such all round amazing children

I think the phrase "That's nice, dear" was just made for this situation.....

@minniemoll 😄😄

Good luck if and when your daughter finds out you’ve been posting about this on FB!

The presence of a person who posts smuggery comments on your friends list would make me even less inclined to share that sort of info on FB.

Yeah she is being a smug git but why are you posting this on fb?! I would be mortified to find out my problems had been shared this way by my mum. I wouldn't have wanted all her mates to know I was struggling with friends and school etc!

Just another reason I am so glad FB was not about when I was growing up!

Dont post sensitive matters on fb. Otherwise youre leaving yourself open to all sorts of comments. Post it on here instead. I'm sorry about your daughter.