....in thinking that on mn is just too much intolerance here?

[Figure8]

It seems like there is no scope here for kindness, no scope for others to simply make a mistake or be inexperienced.

There seems to be this idea that each of us should expect perfect behaviour from others, with no room for mistakes or learning.
So if a partner is stressed and lashes out verbally...LTB
If a friend does something g wrong- go NC

I'm all for strong barriers, but I'm getting bummed at the lack of kindness I see

Yeech... my title needs serious editing

I don’t like the amount of times people are told they are “overreacting”. Potentially they are... and why is that wrong?! Some of us know we are overreacting but we need help rationalising, hence the post! I think telling someone they are “overreacting” shows real lack of empathy... just because you would know how to handle a particular situation doesn’t mean someone else does. Contribute something useful or go away!

But I think there is ample kindness on here ☺️ the different views are what makes MN great! LTB or NC pretty much indicates “I wouldn’t accept this under any circumstance” which gives some interesting perspective (even if it isn’t always kind or helpful!)

There's so much kindness and support on here. MN is more than just AIBU.

I've never come across such support (a thread or two has actually helped shape my life a little, I met with a MNetter last week who was doing me a kind favour!) so there is masses of kindness here, and you can benefit from a wealth of experience and intelligence here.

I think there's just the right amount of tolerance and honesty.

I think the worst ones are posts people put into AIBU and proper are pure nasty to them and try to lecture them.

If someone's asking if they're being unreasonable they're clearly willing to acknowledge they might be in the wrong 🙈

I think when posters really need help eg domestic violence help to leave, problems with their sen children then people are really kind and helpful and knowledgeable.
When posters are just moaning about trivial stuff that’s when they get told to buck up and they’re told straight.

Some of the minimising is equally bad, it can go either way

There are many other threads in which to seek support, this is AIBU, in which posters ask that question. Discussion ensues and people have different points of view which can get a bit heated. I'm often surprised by how tolerant most people are and it's unfair to suggest MNetters are overall unfair and unkind, that's not so.

There's plenty of kindness on here but all social media brings polarised views to the surface so there's plenty of condemnation too.

I always try to be kind because there is no need to be rude. I have to say the replies I've had to posts I've made have always been kind, to the point on occasion, but sometimes that's someone's way of communicating?
On the other hand though, I would just advise people to realise, you're reading someone else's words and sometimes the tone you read is your mood, not what they're saying to you, if that makes sense?

I don't think it is a lack of kindness so much as wanting people to realise that they don't have to accept or work through someone else's shitty behaviour making them miserable. Plenty of people argue with their partners, or get irritated by their friends, and deal with it fine. But if they're asking for advice about it on Mumsnet then surely that implies it's not fine.

I dont see anything wrong in saying if your partner's/friend's behaviour is negatively effecting you then you don't have to put up with it.

There is a lot of kindness. There is also practical support.
The intolerance is no more nor less than is found in RL. The difference is that most of the time in life you only tell people your thoughts, feelings or the details of incidents if you expect to get a particular response.

One of my best friends had an affair with a married man. She told two people both of whom had done similar in the past. She did not tell another best friend whose husband had recently had an affair.

I do agree that there's a lot of strict standards that shouldn't be applied in RL.

I snapped at a relative yesterday and shouted at them. I recognised that this was because I was so tired I'd stopped functioning as a normal human being, apologised, went to bed, and apologised profusely again when I woke up.

If the other person had come on Mumsnet and said that I'd shouted at them for no obvious reason, I dread to think what the advice would have been.

The people in Gardening or Exercise are pretty kind. AIBU is quite a weird place and some of the posters are verging on really quite mad.

AIBU is a really shitty place. Many of the posters are man-hating, transphobic, perpetually offended bored women with no lives, who invent their middle-class Seasalt personas where their Boden-clad, quinoa-scoffing offspring are perfect and they pearl-clutch at the thought of social housing or a wage below 100k.

In reality they're sat in their scummy dressing gowns, bowl of Frosties on lap, fag in mouth, watching This Morning while their kids are glued to ipads.

Why do you think so many people are on Mumsnet, so constantly? No one in the real world has time for repeatedly commenting on online forums throughout the entire day and night

Yanbu. There is a lot of it, I've left a thread on a few occasions, feeling very concerned for the OP and some pp's.
There is no grey area for many, words hurt.
I see a lot of kind funny and supportive posters too.

There are loads of nice people on here but its become increasingly difficult to find them as AIBU has such an all pervading weird internal logic that bears to relation to RL

bears *no relation

Supermassive - spot on. I only get very involved in MN when I have no work and am feeling low. (Self-employed so work is unpredicatable). The exception is if I am searching for a specific piece of advice or guidance/ support in a specific area. Otherwise you are right, (not about the fag or the frosties but otherwise close to the truth - possibly!) ...

If I am actually at work or busy I am simply not here.

Agree with supermassive and spider

I'm a coco-pops fan myself

I literally can't buy frosted wheats or i will eat the whole box

I agree too. If some of the posters here are for real, their lives must be intolerable so must the lives of people who live with them.

Potatoes is spot on.

SupermassiveBlackHo not so much.

For the most part, there are those who need to not to post sensitive stuff on AIBU. Especially the ones that say first time poster be gentle with me and then post some wacky/provocative scenario. The quality of literacy in such posts for the most part argues that they are able to flip through the options in MN and post in the apt section.

Responses on Chat, Bereavement, Relationships, WWYD, the education boards can be very nuanced and helpful, but still so many post for traffic then get pissed off with the response.

I like MN's robust approach but am moving towards the idea that some posts should be shifted to A.N. Other section, off AIBU.

Sorry, forgot to say how many trolling threads appear this days, too, which adds to the mix.