....in thinking that on mn is just too much intolerance here?

[Figure8]

It seems like there is no scope here for kindness, no scope for others to simply make a mistake or be inexperienced.

There seems to be this idea that each of us should expect perfect behaviour from others, with no room for mistakes or learning.
So if a partner is stressed and lashes out verbally...LTB
If a friend does something g wrong- go NC

I'm all for strong barriers, but I'm getting bummed at the lack of kindness I see

I put a post up last night about my (lovely) step daughter being a pain in the arse over the landing light
It IS a small matter but I wasn’t sleeping because of it 70% of posters where lovely but there’s always one or two
I cried my eyes out over the nastiness and cos I did get some sleep I know it wasn’t that much of a big deal but at the time it felt bloody awful

Thank you to the lovely ladies and I’ve now ordered a nightlight and lower light lightbulbs

God forbid you mention the person you're having trouble with is a different class. I cringe every time I see that because I know the commenters will see that line and fixate on it instead of giving advice.

Saw your thread Rainbow and was baffled by the mean comments, I’m so sad you had a cry! There’s just not a lot you can do if you’re body wakes up to the light. Glad you got it sorted.

Why does AIBU get so much more traffic then elsewhere? I almost feel like MN should get rid of the categories and just let people post. They can always archive them to a folder later surely. I never know where to post! Don’t people just look at “active”?

Sorry bad grammar...

YOUR body.

I never know where to post either hence my post yesterday about Mn being a bit broken

I find/ found it much kinder than babycentre. The mums on there were bullies

@BinkyBaa

Pressed too soon

I agree, people on here really can't cope with any sort of discussion or mention of class. You just get

I posted this morning after I had read something that made me despair. Cant remember what now!!

Many people ARE kind, and insightful.

But.... there seems to be a trend toward expecting perfection from the people in their lives.

For example , someone posts about a partner who got a new job and is grumpy, and works a lot. Chances are, most people replying to the thread would say that person is neglecting their family responsibilities, and how dare they behave that way? Leave immediately!!

There just seems such a trend toward inflexibility. It makes me sad!

I would like to hope I'm becoming a better person, but I've certainly behaved in ways that are " anti-mn"- normally because of stress, or just being naive , or a low sense of self worth.

Maybe I need to get off of AIBU!

I think you're right in terms of relationship expectations.
There seems to be two norms. One where no man could possibly do 50% of the share really and so anyone who suggests their relationship is equal must be lying. The second is where someone leaves a sock in the washing machine by accident and then there's 20 replies saying to LTB because a mistake or bad mood couldn't be part of life, it's totally emotionally abusive and the man child only did it to avoid chores for the next 5 years.

Otherwise I think there's a reasonable mix on mumsnet. It's just like life with lots of people with different irritations, different levels of what they expect in others, sometimes people want a light hearted whine, sometimes people ask advice and are open to different views, other times people ask for advice and then stick their head in the sand whilst trying to shout 'blah blah can't hear you'.

But then life is like that. Most of us can think of people we've known who ask everyone for advice only to get moody and ignore what their friends are saying. Online is no different.

MNs seems to range from the best to the worst of people. Some seem to post to just twist the scenario into a victim-blame, throw some shit at them- type response but the majority do seem to genuinely offer help and/or sympathy.

Must be hard for the OPs to handle the comments that seem nasty purely for the sake of it.

I think the intolerance is exclusive to AIBU. It is much more peaceful in chat, relationships, style and beauty.
If you are starting a thread on AIBU you are inviting opinions.
Most posters are kind, insightful, unless you enter dangerous territory, by admitting an affair or posting on MIL issues, Step parents, obesity, racism, xenophobia, if it is a controversial, you need to wear a hard hat.
Plus you only get one side of the story, it raises questions.

In AIBU, you're probably correct.

And I assume that posters post in this specific topic because that's the environment they want to be in.

People could choose 'chat' or a topic (currently because usage has dropped) but they don't.

If you're choosing to use AIBU, then I think you need to own your choice. If you want gentler, use a different topic. Whilst they still exist

"man-hating, transphobic"

That's what women are often called when they stand up for themselves.

Some men treat their woman partners very badly
and women who were previously victims of this can sometimes recognise the signs in someone else's relationship

Obviously on a forum of mostly women, we'll get far more women posting about their problems than men
and people rarely start a thread merely to say how brilliant their OH is and how happy they are.