Ex lied about his job

[mdep]

My ex always told me he was a civil engineer, but he's not, he's a construction worker doing road works. Nothing wrong with this but having not know previously what being a civil engineer consists of (a lot of hard work and degrees) I've realised he most definitely lied and called himself this title falsely.

I want it changed on my son's birth certificate as it's a lie. I left him due to abuse and hate that he's known as a civil engineer without having done the work for it.

I'm such a fool.

WIBU to try and get this changed?

He is a civil engineer though. Road maintenance comes under civil engineer jobs. So he didnt lie.

@3dogs2cats

I am really concerned that you feel it will be helpful to your son to believe his father was a nothing

I never said this and I don't think that being a tarmaccer makes you a nothing. Completely missed the point.

I think you're focusing on the wrong thing OP, you need to let this go.

What's a civil engineer mum?

Posh word for tarmaccer

Job done

@BeyondMyWits this all stems from me being absolutely terrified that my son is going to buy in to his bullshit when he's older. My ex has told me that 'my son will know the truth about me' - no idea what that means. I've made a vow to myself that I will never talk this way about my son's father and will only tell him age appropriate truths when necessary, however it's so hard when you were with someone who lied about absolutely everything.

it's so hard when you were with someone who lied about absolutely everything.

It’s a horrible feeling as you end up thinking everything they said was a lie. The only good thing about the birth certificate is that you have the actual proof of his lies - he won’t ever be able to pretend to your son that you exaggerated about his dishonesty. As everyone says, we don’t really need our birth certificates very often - eg you need it for your first passport I think but not for renewals. Put the certificate away until it’s needed and remind yourself that your son is lucky to have you as a mum, someone who came through a negative relationship and is providing a good role model to him.

You do know that a "tarmacr " is skilled job don't you.
My husband is a builder, has his own business, and that business is supported by a labourer ( people look down in this job too) but that is a skilled job too.
All the "tarmac people we know earn good money.
When he came home could you not tell he had be tarmacing

OP, what good is thinking like this doing you? Who is it hurting? Him? or you?

I agree with PPs who advise letting this go. When you feel angry or resentful about something like this, it eats away at you, and he doesn't even know. Holding onto this is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.

Instead, shift your focus. What are you doing for your son? What are you good at? What do you enjoy? Who loves you? What do you want your life to look and feel like in 6 months? A year? 2 years? 10 years? Do you still want to feel angry with this ex, or do you want to feel nothing towards him?

If you want to feel nothing, then hanging onto this anger does you no good, as it keeps the emotional ties well and truly alive and kicking.