Looking for suggestions, please. In May Mum weighed in at over 108 kilos and is 6 foot tall.
My Father died nearly 5 years ago, and since then, Mum has gone from using a walker to deciding she cannot walk so relies on a wheelchair. This was supplied by a rehab hospital after a fall to assist with her fear of falling.
Mum was diagnosed with dementia not long after Dad died (I'm aware he ended up being her carer) and he put into place with Mum's Doctor for the testing to occur if he didn't pull through an operation. However, it's not taking the ''normal'' path of forgetfulness, rather she goes through angry, lying, and abusive cycles coupled with periods of calm and pleasantness. If she doesn't get her own way, she becomes nasty, whether that is directed at me or nursing staff.
Because of her confinement to the wheelchair, she now lives in a private hospital. The staff are fantastic and the care is 2nd to none.
The staff have to use a large hoist which isn't the small lightweight frame type, but rather similar to a small bulky crane, to get Mum on and off the toilet (extra high chair already in place) and out of bed.
After the big weigh-in, I received a text from the hospital advising there was to be no more biscuits and chocolates, which I buy each week along with additional fruit and personal needs.
Mum claims she isn't eating dessert now (although was on the warpath when pavlova didn't make an appearance one meal time recently).
At the beginning of June, her monthly weigh-in was just under 108, so good news there however she has started to ask for biscuits again and now has decided she wants a bottle of sherry for happy hour glass.
Mum had a dietician visit her last year, however, she tells me she can eat whatever she wants, the hospital does not stop her.
I have refused to buy any more biscuits unless its a special occasion like Mothers Day and the sherry until the Doctor/hospital confirms that it is ok. Of course, their ok hasn't come through so Mum retaliates by saying she will go and get drunk on their horrible wine instead... (it's like negotiating with an under 5-year-old terrorist).
I have emailed the Senior medical officer which has been acknowledged asking for direction but she hasn't responded in full. I know they have other issues on hand than worry about this sort of carrying on, but it doesn't resolve the issue with Mum.
My family say I should buy all the chocolates, biscuits and sherry she wants and let her go to it. One of her Brothers is upset that she will do nothing to get back into some sort of shape, even if only to move on and off the toilet unassisted.
Mum is quick to email newspapers when she is one of her angry cycles and her emails do get published. I have a fear that one day she will go too far and be expelled from the private hospital where she lives.
The computer is the only form of communication she has with her family and I'm loathed to take it from her. She relies on it very much, reading overseas newspapers, links to articles my Uncles have sent her, seeing family photos roll around on screen saver etc. Once a month I have to fiddle with it to get it up and running again as she will crash or lose a programme.
I have had the mental health team visit her more than once, and her Doctor has her mental state re-assessed annually which shows further deterioration.
So that is my predicament. Do I buy the biscuits, chocolates and sherry or try to enforce a stricter reduced calorie diet even though she can eat what she likes at the hospital (I think they let her go for it in the name of less arguing and upset).
Thanks for taking the time to read... and sorry to off load.