To think a 2 bed house is perfect and more rooms aren't necessary?

[takehimonwillyou]

For us.

It's just me, DH and DS.

I do not want any more DC. I am done. DH thinks I will change my mind but I cannot stand children in general, although can't get enough of my DS. But he is enough. I think I've hit the jackpot of balance with life, work, DC and being 'me'.

Friends and family think I'm mad for saying we will be looking for a two bed. I want to stay in a fairly nice area of the South so more rooms would compromise location and just aren't needed.

In addition to this, I'm a cleaning goddess and I like to do everything myself in a particular way so wouldn't ever want a cleaner to treat myself to an easier life. Having just 2 bedrooms makes this much easier as it probably equals a smaller property.

AIBU?

It sounds good to me - you're in the South where property is expensive.

It sounds like your DH wants an extra bedroom as he is hoping that he'll be able to persuade you to have a second child, reading between the lines. Don't get pushed into it if you're happy as you are.

I’m on the fence. I know what you mean about keeping the cleaning and maintenance under control with a smaller house. But, no matter how minimalist you are, realistically there is only so much space. And you will find the lack of space/ storage is making your life harder, you’re just used to it and don’t notice

We have a 2 bed, 4 adults at the mo, DD and partner saving for a house deposit, we extended into the loft when kids were little, no one sleeps in it now but a very nice (too nice) storage area!

Sounds great.
You can focus on the area you like rather than having to make sure it's a 3/4whatever bedroomed house.
Extra bedroom in your perfect location can be seen as a bonus not necessity.
Two bed sounds fine for your family.
We compromised on location in order to get our 3-bed. 3 beds in preferred place were elusive.

YANBU in the slightest. What matters is finding something that works for you. When I was married, we had a huge 7 bed house with endless space downstairs. It was a complete tip, but it worked for me (not least because it was so big that there was no need to tidy up, ever). Post divorce I live in a tiny 3-up, 2-down. I find it a complete nightmare, because I am congenitally untidy, as are my DC. So it doesn't work for me - but that is absolutely no reason for it not to work for someone else.

It's nice having a spare room for guests or an office or play room. We have 2 kids and a 4 bed. I don't think I'd be happy with fewer rooms.

It’s hard to find properties that have a decent amount of living space when they have fewer bedrooms. Do you really never have guests, any need for space to spread out?

I’d maybe look for a two bed that’s had a good sized extension that could provide a study/ guest room, general extra space. Older kids take up a LOT of room. Even their bloody shoes.

It's completely up to you and your logic makes sense to me.

Personally, I'd always want an extra room for guests, but I'm not in a really expensive area (not exactly cheap though!) so we would potentially sacrifice other things for that. Not location though. I'm certainly with you there!

The few things that would be put me off and have me looking for three bedrooms

• downstairs space
• storage
• having space for an office/library
• if a two bed second room tends to be tiny and would prefer child had a double size room to grow into rather than box room
• I do like a bit of garden and this tends to be much less on a two rather than a three because of assumptions by planners about family etc

We have one dc and have just moved from a two bed to a three bed.

The spare room is going to be a study/sewing room/dressing room with a sofa bed for if guests are staying over.

We were very happy in our two bed but it's definitely a bit easier with three as we have somewhere to put all the random crap that accumulates like luggage, games consoles etc.

It's also somewhat paradoxically easier to keep clean, though that might just be because everything isn't piled on top of itself anymore

You'll know best if it suits your lifestyle.

We're the same size family and we'd hate living in a 2-up 2-down. I love entertaining so wanted a large sitting and dining rooms.
We have a lot of hobbies between us so there are musical instruments and outdoor gear to accommodate. We're also into our garden and no 2-bed would ever have a garden big enough.

But if you don't have much stuff, guests staying over + you want to clean yourself without spending too much time doing it, then 2-bed could the perfect option.

How old is DS?

I have two friends with just one. Past the age of five they seem to have to be far more focused and give more of 'themselves' to entertaining the sole child, while ones with siblings play together. One friend is in particular run ragged by her very talkative, engaging only DD. That isn't a negative by the way! But you mention the being 'me' bit and I would say, I now get FAR more time out of school/activity hours to be 'me' while my children play together than my compatriots with only children.

If your DS is a toddler, keep an open mind. If he's already 5-6 and you're finding it just what you want then great!

Re the house. Entirely up to you. I often think number of bedrooms is a red herring - it's how a house is laid out that makes it work for a family (do you have somewhere a guest bed can go with privacy, like a contained second reception for example?) and number of bedrooms is certainly no guide to how easy a space is to keep clean and uncluttered. Often, having more designated rooms means that a place stays ordered - I would loathe the idea of an open plan, to me that just says chaos.

Up to you. The idea of a spare room is really nice (and if you don't use it much you won't have to clean it much) but not if it wipes out other very important things. But just because you have an extra bedroom absolutely doesn't mean you have to have extra children to fill it - the two things don't need to be connected at all.

@BishopBoniface “congenitally untidy” - love it!, That’s me! (And at least one of my dc!)

If you're happy housewise then stuck with a 2 bed. You can consider a garden office / studio thingy if you need more space at any point.

You might need a conversation with your DH if he's wanting more children though.

My only concern about a two bed is that the living space would be very limited. If it’s a PB flat you’d probably have one big living room/kitchen combined. If it’s a house a smallish reception and separate kitchen. That’s fine when DS is very young and going to bed early but could be restrictive and inconvenient as he grows and develops potentially noisy or space consuming hobbies. I think I would want at least two reception rooms and whilst a quick look on Right Move tells me that there are houses out there with two bedrooms and spacious downstairs areas (and I used to own one myself before I planned DC) they are priced at a premium so there wouldn’t be much of a saving over a three bed.

How much reception/kitchen/dining space do you have right now?

As @Frusty and @greenlynx have metnioned, the less space upstairs, the less space downstairs. You can have a family room so you can watch TV, welcome a relative or do whatever and in the other room DS or any of you can study without being bothered. Some 2 beds are particularly small and have smaller and narrower bedrooms than a 3 bed. We have a decent size 3 bed meaning that we have enough space for fitted wardrobes a we have lots of clothes, sheets, towels and a massive show rack downstairs. Of course there are also 3 beds which have a tiny box room where you can only put a cot in, so utterly useless. But see if you can make anextension, i.e. convert the kitchen to a 2nd reception and move the kitchen towards the garden IF need be. Or you could convert the loft but then you wouldn't be able to check that DS is actually doing homework.

You might not like the idea of a mancave that @BadLad gave as it might promote untidyness which you hate but in our case DH does lots of studying and needs hardware and tonnes of books in one place so we have the equivalent of a 3rd reception for that, our computer etc.

Depends on how much storage there is. Even without clutter, there still needs to be enough storage space. A third bedroom wouldn’t add that much to the size of the house in terms of cleaning. Our extra bedroom has always been a study / office/ bolt hole for whoever needs quiet to work or study, with wardrobes to store things like bedding and towels etc.

Of course it's all right. My house is quite small. There are just two of us and a cat. Having people come to stay is really over rated. If you want to entertain, there are restaurants and then people go home at the end of the evening.

I found a two bed a bit small (in an ideal world!) with one child but we did keep the second bedroom with a double bed too for guests. We have two children now and 4 bed and like the 4th bedroom for a playroom to keep children's clutter upstairs (double as a spare room for occasional guests). However - if by buying a two bed you can afford in a better area/nicer garden/more high spec (or whatever else you fancy) YADNU.

I can’t see the issue. Surely it’s more important to find a house that works for you (incl the location etc...) rather than basing it in the number of bedrooms?

I live in a 2 bed bungalow. It's just me and my 12 year old son, plus the cat. And my boyfriend stays at the weekends.

Both bedrooms are big doubles so plenty of room for my son to have friends over.

I'd rather live somewhere with 2 decent sized bedrooms than 2 ok sized bedrooms and a box room.

It would be nice sometimes to have a bit more storage. But on the plus side, it does mean I can't hoard loads of crap!

Don't you want the option of having people to stay?

Lol only on mumsnet would the lack of a spare bedroom cause such incredulity. Meanwhile back in the real world OP you seem to know what you want and it makes perfect sense to me for you to settle on a 2 bed in order to buy in your desired location. Usually with a 2 bed the rooms are extra big anyway so it shouldn't impact on the size downstairs too much either,not that you need a huge downstairs space when there's only the 3 of you,though some will be aghast of course if you don't have a study,a snug,a playroom, a laundry room and a boot room.

Not having a spare room is ok, but I'd be looking for extra living space if I could afford it. We are spoiled with our house (2 DCs, 4 bedrooms and downstairs we have a separate 'family room'). We could cope without the spare bedroom but if we didn't have the family room we'd be tripping over toys and lego. We also have a sofa bed in there so it doubles as a spare room if necessary.

You sound like you know exactly what you want and why you want it. Unless your DH has strong objections that you should consider (only fair) I'd go for it.

Personally I'd want a spare room for guests because people do stay over from time to time and having them on a sofa bed is very crowded. And a study area is always a good idea, so I'd go for three beds with the third as a study/spare room. But if you know you and your DH will never want or need that, why bother. It's a good idea not to get a house that's too big and let it fill up with junk...

Our house is so cluttered. But DH and I both work from home so each have a home office, and both DC have serious hobbies with a LOT of kit that needs storing. It does get me down and sap my energy. I'd love a smaller, uncluttered home.