To think my brothers ridiculous

[mummumumumumumum]

My mum and dad have been on holiday for 2 weeks, during that 2 weeks my brother (35), who lives with them messaged them asking for money, he lost his job and has run out of food.

They're in Spain so mum messaged him back saying to go and ask me.
Backstory is that my brother has a problem with alcohol and has borrow £100s off me over the years and I Have said no more money but if he is hungry I will feed him.

Brother said no. I'll give him healthy rubbish (I'm a vegetarian personal trainer) and not what he eats.

I told my mum he's not as hungry as he's making out and he wants alcohol money but mum is sure that he isn't drinking anymore.

Just tell him it's this or nothing. His call. If you're willing to buy him food though, buy him food he actually likes and not the food you like.

Have you posted about him before? He sounds a charmer. I would say he’s used up all his chances with you. It’s very generous of you to offer to feed him and his response speaks for itself.

You’ve made the offer. I wouldn’t give him money.

Tell your brother the answer is no, and inform your parents you will no longer be enabling him.

No this is my first post about him. I've gone out of my way for him so many times and I get nothing at all in return, I had to take him shopping for clothes for our grandads funeral the day before it because he said he was coming in his ripped dirty jeans.

I agree that giving him money is a bad idea. Just give him food, no money.

Ask him for a shopping list then buy the food for him & drop it off or have it delivered to the house. If he refuses this offer then tell your parents & recommend that he should move out. Once he pays the market rate for rent & bills, he won't have much left for alcohol.

I would totally ignore this! He is 35 for ffs. Tell your mother you have offered food and he doesn't want it, he is fine.

Bloody hell, your parents are not helping enabling this kind of thing at 35!!

I wouldn't give him money either.
I would feed him food he liked, though.

YANBU

You do realise your mother is utterly out of order telling him he can go to you for money?

Also find out about the food banks in his local area?

Can you give him money on a gift card type thing that can't be used at a liquor store? So a grocery store specific card?

That's another option - order food online and have it delivered to him

Take him a meal op, not money.

Buy a selection of basic foods and drop it off at the house - bread, milk, frozen chips, eggs, ham, sausages, cheese, eggs potatoes, maybe veg. - and let him get on with it.

There is internet banking. If your mum and dad have referred him to you perhaps they don't want to give him money either.
I think your suggestion is perfect and if he won't accept I agree he's not desperate for anything other than alcohol money.

If he's hungry he'll eat your 'healthy rubbish' and be grateful. Your parents are idiots for enabling his cheeky fuckery,but you don't have to follow suit.

OP just tell him no, you won’t give him cash. If he’s hungry then you’ll feed him but you’re not giving him money. If he’s hungry then he’ll eat, if he doesn’t want to then he’s clearly not that hungry.

You’re perfectly entitled to set boundaries. If your parents want to keep enabling him that’s their choice, but you can say no.

Give him food (that he will eat) or nothing. Any money given will go straight on booze

If you want to have a food order delivered, nothing else

What a ridiculous little man. Cut him loose.

I would do what @Singlenotsingle suggested. Or, if you are feeling up to it, go shopping with him and only say no to any alcohol purchases.

Buy him food - not necessarily as healthy as you'd eat, though, just enough to get him through. Take a photo of the receipt and send it to your parents so they know you've done it. That way he has food, your parents know and can stop worrying, and you've done your bit without breaking your pledge not to give him money.

Maybe tell your parents not to mention that they know you've got him food and see if he still complains he needs money.

You are doing the right thing by offering him food but not money. It is not kind to give money to an alcoholic.

Your mother shouldn't have sent him to you (are you sure she did?) but I suppose she is tired and on her holidays, and didn't have the heart to say "well starve then". I'm sorry you have to be dealing with this, I know it can't feel good, even when you know you are right.

I’d be a bit suspicious that a man living with his parents has no money a week after losing his job.