School shoes dilemma

[shoedrama]

NC for this.
Dd is 12 and came home on Friday with soaking wet school shoes. I told her to put the in the airing cupboard to dry over the weekend. She didn't and I only discovered them last night. They've been sat on the radiator all night and had the heating on for about 3 hours of that but are still wet. I also put bicarbonate in to absorb the moisture and stench.
Dd claims she can borrow some from school but needs a phone or similar as a deposit She has a history of ruining or losing clothing and shoes and trainers and is costing me a fortune in replacing them to the point I've refused to replace her expensive trainers as she's lost one of them at her dad's.

I am sick to death of her and her lack of responsibility for items. She's lost or ruined countless things.

She might get a strike or detention for not having her school shoes.i haven't got any spare to give her as she'd lost one and the only ones she has are trainers that are too small from her dad's.

WWYD in this situation?

If it was me I would ring school and tell them what happened and inform them she would be in at break time...then I would run into town and buy a cheap pair from asda or somewhere like that ...they have some flat black ones which would do for about 6.00,and a bottle of nail varnish remover,get her sorted then send her in.The flat shoes could then be used for playing out shoes or spares for if she forgets things at her dads house.She is a kid these things happen! Mine is 7 and a bugger for leaving hers outside when she takes them off to go on the trampoline.,more than once on a morning we wake up to wet shoes left out overnight, I learned that a cheap spare pair will do the job and it really helps with the hassle, You are right to be a bit cross at the carelessness though.I try as much as I can to have a routine where when she comes in from school all things for tomorrow are sorted before tea time and ready to go ...it doesnt help her much but it really helps me....sorry for sounding like a smug cow but if I am not organized god only knows what state we would be in cos my kids are slack they just don't think..having said that I realize my fault enabling it!!!

@freshstartnewme she'd hidden them away so I didn't know until last night they were still soaking wet. I did everything I could once I found them to get them dry. She is more than capable of making sure her shoes are put in the airing cupboard like I told her.

She is more than capable of making sure her shoes are put in the airing cupboard like I told her.

Except she literally proved the opposite.....

@freshstartnewme no, she chose to ignore me. She knows to put them in there if wet and was specifically told to do it. Instead she hid them.

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe I don't drive, so would have to get the bus to the nearest town to buy shoes (and have to take the younger ones to school first) but if you'd actually read my comments you'd see that she has very narrow feet and is always a half size and buying shoes for her is a nightmare. It can take hours to find a pair that fit reasonable well. And I don't think missing part of the school day to go shoe shopping is acceptable.

All school items are ready the night before. We have a shoe cupboard for shoes or they are next to her school bag ready for the following day. It's not a case of her being organised really, it's a case of her wilfully ignoring me and then not having her shoes dry for school.

I wasnt being rude Op at all..sorry if i gave that impression. I was remarking on how slack mine were and how I made life less stressful for me,I was trying badly it seems to say that I would sort her out this time and then try to get a handle on it when everyone was less stressed! Sorry if you thought I was being nasty I really wasn;t.

Sounds like she wanted to wear trainers so made sure her shoes weren't available.

Fair enough, no worries.

What's an airing cupboard?

Misses the point of the thread

purplecatt The cupboard that has the hot water tank in. Some central heating systems have them and some don't.

Ah thanks @TapasForTwo. I'm in Australia, never seen this before. I was wondering how a cupboard would've helped dry them.

School have given her a pair and no sanction for not having correct uniform. It used to be really strict on uniform and now the standards have dropped. I informed a girl walking through the village the other day that half her backside was showing as her skirt was rolled up so much. I'm not exaggerating. It was half way up with half her cheeks showing. At one time the head stood for no nonsense but like I say, standards have slipped.
Seems bad form to not be consistent with the kids as then they never know what's ok and what's not. At one time kids were sent home for incorrect shoes. It made the press. Too harsh they but made a good point and let everyone know the expected standards.

Surely DC who get their shoes wet while travelling to school have to walk about in wet shoes all day (looks out window, realises this is probably my DC)?

If we ever have a ‘shoe problem’ I send ds in trainers along with s note to show any teacher that challenges/asks him. Isn’t that what everyone does?
I don't know of many secondary school that will accept "my daughter is wearing trainers because her shoes are still wet from Friday) as an acceptable excuse.

OP, we had similar at the beginning of the month. My sister came home from school on a Tuesday (first day back after Easter) and her shoes were broke!

She'd been at the library most of the evening and came home around 7 and told us. I went to go and get her some that evening, but not one shop had her size, we don't live near a supermarket that sells shoes and her school is very specific (shoes need buckles, no Velcro, laces, zips, no boots, no patterns, no dolly shoes, slip ons etc)

I found a pair of black dolly shoes, so it was them or black trainers. She took both along with a note and phonecall and was given a detention. The teacher didn't make her sit the detention in the end as 'it was good that we tried to get her suitable shoes' so she let her off!

My neighbours DD (same school) recently cut her skirt. She cut it all wonky and really short. No threat of detention, just 'please buy a new skirt by next week'

For the poster mentioning getting wet on the way to school, If my child got soaking wet shoes on the way to school, I would expect to be contacted to bring a replacement. Wet feet breed all sorts of nasty conditions.

I really don’t think you should be commenting on teenage girls’ bottoms, OP

If my child got soaking wet shoes on the way to school, I would expect to be contacted to bring a replacement.
Are you thinking about primary school Purpleartichoke? There are 2000 children at my DC's secondary school. The only contacting that will be being done will be via children to parents, and if my DC rang up to say their shoes were wet, I would not be rushing in with replacement footwear (actually school will provide plimsolls, but no self respecting teen would be seen dead in those). Not to mention that it isn't actually practical for lots of parents to turn up en masse brandishing shoes - and who has spare school shoes anyway?

You've had the heating on??? In June?!

The calendar may say June but the weather says November.

Less than a fortnight to midsummer's day and we need the bloody heating on and the hatches battened down. Hugely depressing.

If my child got soaking wet shoes on the way to school, I would expect to be contacted to bring a replacement

There are about 1200 kids at the school where I work. We don't really have the capacity to monitor whether students' feet are wet and intervene if they are. Also I wouldn't assume that most DC have a parent at home who is able to bring in replacement shoes.

M&S do half sizes. And their shoes really last. I had a pump/ballerina pair for 3 years and they would have lasted longer but my puppy got hold of one

I wouldn't make a kid wear wet shoes - despite why they were still wet and them deserving to wear wet shoes - isn't that just a recipe for athlete's foot? I'd have sent them in trainers with a note.

So for secondary school, I would expect my child to call me. And yes, I would find a way to get her dry shoes because the alternative is the teachers let her take her shoes off during class and that seems unlikely. Wet feet are a big deal.

Purpleartichoke I assume that you don't actually have a child at secondary school?
Here's how this would work at our school.

Your child contacts you.
You bring shoes to school.
The receptionist puts them out on the "random things brought in by parents" table.
Your DC retrieves them at break (at earliest) by which point they will have been in wet shoes for over 2 hours and they are probably reasonably dry.

Clearly we are discussing different levels of foot wetness.

And that isn’t how it works at dd’s School.

Purpleartichoke would you expect a member of staff to contact you? That wouldn't happen in a state secondary school unless the child had extra needs.

I do think it is ridiculous that schools don't allow children to wear boots in school though. School lockers aren't usually big enough to put boots in either.

How does it work at your dd's secondary Purple?