School shoes dilemma

[shoedrama]

NC for this.
Dd is 12 and came home on Friday with soaking wet school shoes. I told her to put the in the airing cupboard to dry over the weekend. She didn't and I only discovered them last night. They've been sat on the radiator all night and had the heating on for about 3 hours of that but are still wet. I also put bicarbonate in to absorb the moisture and stench.
Dd claims she can borrow some from school but needs a phone or similar as a deposit She has a history of ruining or losing clothing and shoes and trainers and is costing me a fortune in replacing them to the point I've refused to replace her expensive trainers as she's lost one of them at her dad's.

I am sick to death of her and her lack of responsibility for items. She's lost or ruined countless things.

She might get a strike or detention for not having her school shoes.i haven't got any spare to give her as she'd lost one and the only ones she has are trainers that are too small from her dad's.

WWYD in this situation?

I'm baffled at the incredulity of posters asking why the heating has been on, and why the shoes were wet. We have had torrential rain where we live, and it has been cold. We haven't had any summer weather yet.

Let her take the rap for trainers and blue nail varnish. Her decisions, her consequences.

agree, her decisions, her consequences

Yes she'll spend the day in isolation and learn the hard way

People would honestly force a child to have wet, cold feet?

I'd have sent her in trainers too, I'd catch a bad cold if I was wearing wet shoes all day.

tell her, clearly, that she is expected to take care of her belongings, and tell her what consequences will happen if she doesn't.

She's also gone in wearing bright blue nail polish. I told her not to put it in but she ignored me. she would be grounded for at least a week and weekend if she was pulling that stunt on me.

I'm baffled at the incredulity of posters asking why the heating has been on, and why the shoes were wet

Because the OP mentioned the dd lost
And damaged stuff alot. So for me the suggestion hinged on the reason they are wet. If the dd had been silly then tough crap wear them wet.

If said shoes were wet because of the weather then send in alternate shoes to change there.

If they are wet because of weather and because they are impractical then that's on the op as much as the dd.

So yes to me it would make a difference

I'm baffled at the incredulity of posters asking why the heating has been on

me too. I've had the heating on for the last few mornings and at bath time, plus low heat prevents mouldy house when you live in such a wet country!

In my house she would have worn different shoes and if she gets a strike or detention then so be it.

"I'd catch a bad cold if I was wearing wet shoes all day"

You do realise that the common cold is a virus.....?

If they are wet because of weather and because they are impractical then that's on the op as much as the dd.

School shoes are not all waterproof. My boys have occasional gore-tex ones, but they cost more, and they don't exist (or I haven't found them, didn't look that hard) for girls. Little ones you put in wellies, older kids are harder to manage, especially when they don't live with you full time!

Colds are caused by viruses not wet feet. Otherwise science would have discovered a cure by now

Omzlas
and you do realise that you are much more likely to catch it when you are cold? You should read about it, and the effect of being cold and tired...

If I don't dry my hair in the winter, I get ill without fail. I know, we are all different, aren't we.

Colds are caused by viruses not wet feet.

it's a bit simplistic, read about it and see why people left cold are much more likely to catch thing. So yes, wet feet all day = likely to be ill.

You learn new things every day, don't you.

Send her in with wet shoes and nail polish.
She needs to take responsibility for her actions and accept the punishment - she's not a toddler who does not know better.

She's worn the trainers so she wont have wet feet all day will she little miss sarcasm.

They can be hell at 12!

I'd have been in the 'you'll have to wear them wet' camp - not least as it's raining here today and forecast to rain all day, so she'd probably have wet feet anyhow.

Breaking other uniform rules seems to be par for the course. I have a skirt-rolling, jewellery and make-up wearing DD. She knows what I think about that, but does it anyway, and I have made it very clear that if/when she gets in to trouble at school, it's her own silly fault and she has to take the consequences.

School shoes are not all waterproof. My boys have occasional gore-tex ones, but they cost more, and they don't exist (or I haven't found them, didn't look that hard) for girls. Little ones you put in wellies, older kids are harder to manage, especially when they don't live with you full time!

You can help the situation a little bit though. Go for full foot coverage. No tiny little hole patterns. Definately not ballet flats or Mary Janes. Try and get ones with a thicker sturdy sole so the general ground water isnt half way up the shoe.

I do think though that kids should he able to wear ankle boots. Would solve the issue a bit more. You cant try and encourage kids to ask to school then insist on shoes that leave their feet cold and wet

I guess it may just be that she learns an uncomfortable lesson in cause and effect then. I broke all sorts of uniform rules when I was at school though and lived to tell the tale!

Her choice -wear wet ones or get a detention.

Maybe ring or message the school to say you are having a problem with her attitude/disorganisation and are happy for her to have a detention in the hope it will make her think ahead a bit.

I've informed school and told them I support detention if they seem it appropriate.
She has very narrow feet (D fitting) and is always a half size so getting school shoes for her is a nightmare. They aren't allowed boots of any kind, lace ups are a poor fit and to be honest it's usually a case of getting the least poor fitting.
She could have got the bus home instead of walking but never takes her bus passes and fare with her despite me saying to have it on her just in case.
At primary school we walked in all weathers in similar shoes and they never ended up as wet as they were so she must have walked through puddles. She has no respect for anything.

Yes she'll spend the day in isolation and learn the hard way

I would hope not. Isolation is a stupid punishment and this would be massively disproportionate - and in breach of Department for Education guidelines.

Isolation would be for very serious behaviour issues, not flouting the uniform rules.

People would honestly force a child to have wet, cold feet?

Quite.

I would have ensured my 12 year olds shoes were dry ready for Monday morning.

The idea that 'she is 12 and more than capable' clearly hasn't worked.

Why are so many people just horrible and unsupportive of their children

It's not horrible and unsupportive

She's 12, she needs to learn that actions have consequences. Op told her DD to put the shoes in the airing cupboard, DD chose to ignore this, the consequence is wet shoes.