AIBU to think it's not right for a childminder to say this to a child? **Title edited by MNHQ**

[TheChildChomper]

I live on a small cul-de-sac, moved here just a few months ago. My neighbour from a few doors down is a childminder. My DS is friends with her DS, and my DS often also plays with her charges out on the cul-de-sac. I'm fairly friendly with her in general neighbourly terms. We sometimes chat and take each other's DS's to softplay etc, but we're not bff's or anything. We don't hang out together.

My DS has also become quite friendly with a particular child that stays with her sometimes. He's not one of her charges, he's one of her friends kid's, but he comes round occasionally for play dates/sleep overs with her DS. She sometimes allows this boy to come round to our house to play with my DS in DS's bedroom/garden.

He came round again to today and went upstairs to DS's room to play. 10 mins later neighbour is banging aggressively on my door. I let her in and she's shouting and swearing about how this boy hadn't told her he was coming round to play with my DS, that he'd left her back door wide open and "...I don't know what he thinks he's bloody playing at!" She storms upstairs to my DS's room and really lays into this kid. He's about 7 or 8 yrs old.

Now don't get me wrong, he most certainly should have told her if he was leaving the house and, while I thought she was ott with the shouting and swearing, I do understand her panic so tried to reserve my judgment. But what she said to him next had me a bit

"You don't really know OP. Do you know that OP eats children, hmm?!! She does you know!!" she says, in all seriousness. Not even in a remotely joking manner. "She could've eaten you and I wouldn't even know!"

My DS giggles and says "my mum doesn't eat children" But she replies to my DS with "yes she does, why do you think you have no brothers or sisters? Cos she's eaten them all. You're the lucky one!"^

My DS is an only child.

I'm now flabbergasted and lost for words, but before I get a chance to step in she demands this boy downstairs and marches him off back to her house while she tells my DS to get his shoes on as he can play at hers instead. But my DS is clearly a bit disturbed by whats just happened and keeps nervously saying to her he doesn't want to go, so I tell her he needs a bit of space and show her the door.

DS then asks me "you don't eat children, do you mum?"

Of course I put him straight but I've had to spend the best part of 10 mins talking to him about emotions and panic and sometimes people say and do daft things in a panic. But I'm a bit narked if I'm honest that a childminder of all people was unable to control herself enough that she shouted, swore and frightened a young child with such a horrid story.

Now I'm not so sure I want my DS going round there any more. AIBU to tell DS not to go in her house again? Or am I being a bit precious and should just accept she just wasn't acting rationally in her panic?

What an unpleasant woman to say something like that to your DS; kids that age believe what adults tell them, especially a friend's mum. I think you should distance yourself and your DS from her.

The comments about you having only one child are not on. It's none of her business and very hurtful; she doesn't know the reason you only have one child, but it should be obvious to her that not all parents with only one child chose to be a one-child family.

And I do agree with PPs that you should report her to Ofsted. Chances are she's scaring her charges with that kind of talk.

Wow that’s not what I was expecting ... not sure what I was expecting but not that 😱
I would report to ofsted to be honest and keep your son well away from her

What even... I don’t get why she would ever even think to say that?? Some people are just weird, I’d steer clear from now on

If anything id say dont you dare come into my house and talk to my son like that-how cruel

Had another chat with DS and explained he can't go round there any more. He was tearful saying "I'm so sorry mum that she's told a horrible lie about you, and I'm sorry for my friend as he's frightened of you now. They don't like me any more"

This sounds mental as I write it, but this neighbours DS came round to ours with the friend who had been told I was a child eater. Didn't knock on the front door as usual, but just let themselves in through our back door. Her DS was 'armed' with a big toy machine gun. I was in my office working and DH found the three of them in our living room rifling through DHs PlayStation VR controllers, specifically asking DS to find the VR gun. DS knows not to mess around with daddy's VR stuff unless DH is there to set it all up and supervise. At the time our DS just said they wanted to play on VR, but DH says they were huddled and whispering about "protecting themselves". DH thinks they were probably attempting to protect themselves from me. When DH sternly asked DS why they were messing with the VR stuff when he knew he shouldn't the other two boys bolted out the door and they haven't been back since.

DS later went out when he saw these other two boys playing oùt and they told him they didn't like him any more and went in.

DS knows I'm not a child eater but now feels bad for me, his frightened friend and that they don't like him any more.

We have to live in this area for a while, until we've flipped this house and can move on, so we've agreed we won't argue with her. But DS won't be going round there again and I will be seriously distancing myself and DS from her.

DS was asking to join a couple of clubs so we'll do that and keep him occupied as much as poss to prevent him from mixing with her crowd.

Your poor DS what a mad horrible bully this woman is. You’ve done the right thing I think, you can’t argue with crazy but your DS needs to stay well away from her.

Disgraceful. She is insane. I wouldn’t let DS go anywhere near her ever again. And I’d tell the parents of the other kids that they need to speak to them - poor little lads are probably terrified.

That's just such a horrible and wrong lie for her to tell. No wonder the children are upset. You as an adult are getting support from a forum to help you come to terms with her behaviour but children don't have that option. for you, your DS, her DS and the friend who are all suffering because of her hotheadedness.