NeedAGoodUsernameThatIsntTaken ·
07/06/2019 10:10
I have mentioned my Mils behaviour on here before. She is very involved in her children's lives and tries to control everything/ have a say in everything from making sure dh sends a card and present for every family member in the family (even her ex husband and ex Sil) to telling dh not to try for a baby with me, how much to spend on my engagement ring, how much to donate at our sons christening etc. Lots of emotional blackmail, attempts at bribary etc if we don't do what she wants. I have another very long thread about it all.
Now she is trying to get dh to get another job/ career. First she got her husband (step fil) to have a private word with dh telling him he needs a better job to support his family more (dh has a fairly good job that requires a PhD and we are not struggling to pay the mortgage and bills etc. We can afford for me to be a sahm which my Mil hates, she says I should just work even though most of my salary would go to nursery. She then tried to bribe my husband by saying she would pay for part of nursary). She has sent him links to a few jobs now. The jobs don't even pay as well as his current job and don't use all of his qualifications. The jobs are in different cities, both about 160 miles away and one is in a more expensive city so we would definitely end up worse financially, plus the cost and stress of selling and moving house. They are not even closer to where Mil lives either. I can't see any advantage to my dh taking these jobs.
I don't want to sound paranoid, maybe it is but I think it is because the jobs are in cities that are alot further from my parents. Instead of it being an hour drive away it would be a 3 to 4 hour plus drive away. My parents visit every 2 weeks and help out alot. My son loves spending time with them and gives them a big smile when they arrive. Mil rarely visits and prefers us to go to her (on her own turf she can boss us around and treat us like children). She has just retired early so maybe it will be more now. She didn't visit for months once because we wouldn't let her visit one specific weekend because I was very ill with a mastitis infection (could barely get out of bed). We said she could visit any other time when I was better but because we said no to that weekend we were preventing her from seeing her grandchild and she decided not to visit for months (she instead sent lots of passive aggressive texts and texts blaming dh for the smallest thing to dh instead).
What do you think her motive could be? Thanks for any replies