Email etiquette at work

[damekindness]

When emailing at work to the in-house team I tend to start with Hello {first name} because it sounds open and friendly .

Rarely a Dear {first name} if it's something formal like performance management type things or I'm being passive aggressive

To external people its a Dear until I get to know them and then it seems too formal

The one thing that does set my teeth on edge is when people begin their emails with just the persons first name as in...

Doris,

Further to our meeting this morning,,,

AIBU to think that appears brusque or rude?

I use the approach:

Doris,
[Request or info]
Regards,
Sweet Petrichor
(signature)

Dear is too formal/letter style. Hi or Hello is too informal, unless I'm having an informal email exchange. I think the 'Doris' approach keeps the email succinct and to the point.
For the end, I only use kind regards if I'm feeling passive aggressive and not remotely kind towards the recipient. I hate the phrase. I think regards is better in regular exchange.

I use email like instant messenger a lot of the time and don't include any introduction or ending. It's just sentences. Which is fine when it's to people sitting 3 feet away from me as part of a wider conversation but a bit weird when I accidentally do it externally. Probably best I don't move jobs any time soon

I have also consciously started re-reading before sending and removing all the unnecessary "just" "if you can" "is that ok" etc type verbiage. It adds nothing except unnecessary floweriness, which is a common trait in women.

My emails are still acceptably polite, just direct and informative. Exactly the same as other senior managers and C-levels in my org.

www.boredpanda.com/passive-aggressive-email-phrases-meaning

99% of emails I get start with my first name. Rarely get Hi or Dear. I think “Hi” to someone I don’t know well is far too informal.

I only add a good morning if I’m dealing with someone I work with regularly. It isn’t rude. If you don’t like it then don’t do it, but putting some arbitrary rudeness rule on something that millions of people do is ridiculous.

IME it’s something people do to people they see as subordinate, but not to people to they see as above them.

Not in my experience. I start emails in the same way no matter where they are in the company. It’s not important how you start it, it’s what is in the email that’s important.

And no, emojis are ridiculous on a professional email. If you are coming across as being too harsh, then re-write your email.

I do it when I’m annoyed with someone
I hope you realise that will go completely over many peoples’ heads. Our entire company must be pissed off with each other.

I don't feel anyone has answered my question about the difference between

Best regards

and

Kind regards.

I used to get pissed off about this too, but no longer care with in-house emails as it’s often just better to get to the point given how understaffed we are.

What I do object to is when emails containing questions go unanswered, which is also common in my workplace. It’s pathetic and staff feel totally undervalued. Always seems to happen with those who insist they are “very approachable” too. Doesn’t inspire a great deal of respect.

What was your question?

I like 'best' but not 'kind'. People are rarely particularly 'kind' in business emails, so it seems incongruous. Warmth and sincerity seem more relevant qualities.

Email is considered an informal form of communication so should never begin with 'dear'.

People where I work just use your first initial, I hate it and respond with "Dear [full first name]"!

I find the more senior people become the fewer words they use in an email. I once wrote a long formal email to a supervisor outlining tasks, actions taken with reasoning, next steps etc.

Got in response:

k

I wonder if I've been offending people all my emailing life. As far as I'm concerned, an email is not a letter, who is addressing who has been taken care of in the "from" and "to" fields and what it's about is in the subject. The first character in the body of an email from me is that of the the first sentence of whatever I actually want to say, and the last character belongs to the last word of same.

I spend considerable effort to compress as much meaning into as few words as possible, so that I'm as clear as possible. There's no way I'm ever going to clutter up the body of an email with meaningless formalities.

There's nothing wrong with condensing emails into as few words as possible - they should be succinct and to the point BUT saying 'hi' or 'hello' is nice, it's polite and it makes me actually want to respond or take on my action from it.

People that just start with my name immediately rub me up the wrong way.

It's really interesting reading this thread (like so many others on mumsnet!) from a "social" perspective - when I joined the workforce most communication was still carried out over the phone, face-to-face, or via LONG memo.

I just find it really interesting that we now live in a world where we have all these allegedly time-saving black boxes and what it actually seems to mean is no one has any time for anything any more...Incidentally, I have been senior management, and amongst our SMT team we had real varieties of communication styles. The one who was the most terse had a full-time secretary...

(Am also thinking all of this would make a splendid plot for a Midsomer Murders type drama/cosy crime story....)

Warmest Regards - sounds like they weed in the bath.

Best wishes - a bit like a birthday card.

BW - rude.

Just their name - in a rush

Piles of love - 🤣

Things have definitely changed...when I started work (only in 2004, not that long ago!) I wrote an email to one of the directors saying

"Hi Neil"

My older colleagues thought it was hilarious as no-one would have been that 'informal' with a senior manager.

Now I think it's totally normal to start "Hi XYZ" irrespective of seniority.

The only time I might use something different is a first contact with a client/external I've never met in which case I would use "Dear ABC", once I've met them I'd use "Hi" unless they were a client and clearly used a different opening themselves in which case I would mirror their style.

I also use "Dear all.." if I'm sending an email out to several people.

I always sign off "Thanks" or "Regards" or "Regds". I'd never think to use "Kind regards" - seems a bit over the top to me

So best regards is better in a business setting? But then when would you ever use kind regards? I mean I’d never sign off on a personal letter with regards of any kind I’d go straight to lots of love ;)

Oh and I'm fine with smilies and use them myself sometimes but only:

• If it's genuine, not passive aggressive
• It's in an informal email
• It's with someone I know well

Sometimes I might use it to diffuse someone feeling bad about something e.g. if they're apologising for asking me to look at something straight away, I might say "no worries :)"

I don't get particular bothered but I think working with an absolute cuntwomble who wrote an email to me once in 32 point red font when I was doing him a favour and who also kicked someone in a meeting has probably completely de-sensitised me to more subtle behaviour.

...and this was a professional in the City.

I'm currently involved in a legal battle and my solicitor always uses Doris.

I think it's an attempt to seem ultra-professional.

I start emails to people I haven't corresponded with previously or for some time with outside my organisation Good morning/afternoon Doris & to those I interact with on a regular basis Hi Doris.

Internal emails it's usual just Doris or I skip emails & holler across the office

My signature is best regards & my full name but for people I converse with regularly & know I put Thanks, Whiskey above it.

I don't do unnecessary pleasantries though - I don't care if your weekend was good or how your dog is I just want to know if you have the information I need & if not do you know who does - I don't have time to faff about with that - but people on a new contract we have thought I was a brusque 60yo from my emails & were shocked to discover that I'm a relatively young & very friendly 40yo when they met me in person

To be fair, email is a dying form where I am (large public sector organisation) - we use Slack most of the time.

What annoys me on emails is multiple question marks. It always strikes me as a bit aggressive, like a wtf?? kind of tone. One particular manager does this; I have little respect for her. I find her brash, self-important and ignorant. She earns more than double my salary, but fires double question marks at me because she doesn't grasp some basic concepts of how things work, including scrolling down to read an email trail. Gah!

A work email isn't a letter. It needs to be quick. And smileys are the worse, I cannot bear them. Makes me feel less of people.

A colleague in my department has ruffled a lot of feathers, including mine, by writing emails that start with just the name and go downhill from there. I.e.

Francie,
Please go on Google Drive and send me xyz file [I'll add here she has the same access to the drive that I do].

Or similar. I have actually had a number of colleagues in other departments hint to me they have been very insulted by her. It isn't just the salutations or lack thereof but paired with something rude or unpleasant it adds insult to injury.

Dear Fred - after a number of years in Australia, I have bowed to the consensus here. If it's very formal or the parent of a student, then always title and surname. There is something very odd about calling someone by their first name when you're about to let loose on some complaint about their PFB.

Yours sincerely if I don't know them.

Sincerely if I do

I can't abide any version of regards. I only came across this when I move to Australia and assumed it was an Aussie thing