AWBU to do stuff like this? [lighthearted!]

[WillyWielderandtheChocolateFac]

Before you all froth up, I am NOT a troll, been here ages (I refuse to now list all the hilarious quotes from classics that would apparently prove this, you know the drill).

My question is - how weird are you with your husband/wife/boyfriends/girlfriends when you're in private?

I ask because in the last few days I, in a hunger-induced state of giddiness, asked if I could have a go of holding OH's penis while he had a piss. He was initially concerned - he did look at me as though I had lost the plot and then said I would 'do it wrong' - but I gave it a shot and it was very funny (although maybe you had to be there).

In the past we have had other ridiculous escapades such as the time he made me wash him in the bath while he tried to be as much of a dead weight/unhelpful as possible (very funny, ends up with a very wet bathroom), and the time when we spent several days citizens-arresting each other for things around the house and then forcing the other to sit through a trial where the judge was our dog before they could go free (e.g. on trial for using last of the milk, dog walked away which was a clear indication that His Honour was sentencing the defendant to go to the shop for more but also to beg forgiveness).

Are we especially weird? Do other couples do stupid inane shit like this when they're alone?

I live alone but I often do a voice over narrative in the style of David Attenborough about what my dog is up to. I sing songs in a different style to the original for the dogs entertainment, so I'd sing a heavy metal song in an opera style, this will be familiar to anyone old enough to remember whose line is it anyway. I have zero singing talent.

I have been known to twerk for comedy value in front of a partner amongst other things.

I think silliness is a very healthy antidote to adult responsibilities, I have no ambition to "grow up", it's overrated.

Oh you know what we do in Squaresville... don our matching flannel pyjamas and read to reach other from Das Kapital in the original German.

Sometimes we rearrange the tupperware in the kitchen together.

Sometimes we open a tin of beans each and count the contents. Whoever has the most beans in theirs gets the thrill of swiping the Nectar card on the self-service machine at Sainsbury's during our weekly shop.

katiemumsnet
Do you queue up to pee behind the sofa?

Me and DP do weird shit like this, we play 'chefs' in the kitchen when we cook tea and shout at our other 'staff' for not moving quick enough. We also have a Sunday morning fashion show where DP puts on the most ridiculous outfits and uses the landing as a catwalk.

Leek fencing(Like sword fighting on old films so your table had to be strong)we did baguettes too but it's very messy.

I reckon it's the couples who do this weird shit who stay together the longest.

Dh and I insult each other terribly. For example he'll ask 'Do you want a cuppa you fat ugly bitch?' and I'll respond 'Yes please you bald fat twat'. We laugh ourselves silly and often wonder what people would think if they were to walk in on us. Must say we never do it when kids are around!

We also love to watch Escape to the country, A place in the sun etc and take the piss out of the people. It's our bonding time

@kathymumsnet how high are your ceilings?!

OP I don't think this is weird at all. We do the dog voice thing, he's actualyl very posh and aloof. Looks down on us a lot.

I would totally do the peeing thing, can't believe I've never thought of it. I've also had a good look at how his bits all fit together underneath. Can't get over the lack of holes, it seems so weird to have a bit of skin fron fron to back He finds my curiosity hillarious.

*from front, not fron fron

Hahaha you're all excellent, I love these!

@DerelictWreck it feels exactly as weird as you think it would. I am also a big fan of curiously testing the floatiness of balls in the bath by prodding them and laughing when they reappear above the water...

Why did your "hunger induced state" lead you to holding your husbands penis whilst he took a piss? Have a sandwich like the rest of us!!!

I was lightheaded and giddy @Crunchymum - he said he needed the toilet, I jokingly asked if I could have a go at aiming, he said 'no, you weirdo, you wouldn't do it right'... I insisted I proved otherwise. Then I had pasta and managed to behave ourselves like sensible adults for a few hours.

Ahhh I need to find some of this fun with my dh again. I've lost myself a bit. Not the holding willies bit though

In our house cats talk, one particularly likes you to look at her ass! She likes to point her bum towards dh and I will say "Papi look at my ass, don't have have a lovely clean ass etc". She (dcat) also likes to tell us how beautiful she is and why she is better than her sister (other dcat) she often says how her tail is sooooo much better because her sisters is wonky lol. She's a bit of a bitch really

Dh and myself also have swearing/ insult competitions. I'll call him a wanker, he'll call me a bitch, ill say twat, he'll say prick etc. I always win because English isn't his first language and I know a lot of ways to call somebody a wanker lol

It's been 14 years and he still won't let me hold his willy whilst he wees!

Both talk to the dogs like they are children..

'WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT A POO INTO THE HOUSE, THOSE BELONG OUTSIDE AND YOU KNOW IT!'..

'STOP SHOWING HIM YOUR BOTTOM, HE ISN'T IMPRESSED'..

Poking each other and making funny noises in response.

We often don't say hello... we say Moo, to each other.. not other people.

Grading each others farts. Arguing about one anothers grades.

It's all quite silly at WiddlinDiddlin HQ.

We've got disco lights permanently installed in the house now, and have occasional 'pile-ons' (they were called 'bundles' in my day) with about 6 people on top of each other. Our neighbours looked on in certain bemusement at a bunch of 40-something jumping on each other, sure we'll all get slipped discs at some point though.

Today, my DP shot me with an elastic band firer that his mother brought back off holiday...for the 5 year old manages to get me through the stair slats as I was off to get my slippers the lucky twat!

Bollockwort may I ask, are you Russian or did you just decide on another anthem and learn it for that? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Good question @ruggerhug! I think the Welsh national anthem is particularly good if you fancied learning another one

Since she was a few days old, we do the voice of toddler DD as though she were Donald Trump. And our (hypothetical) dog is a cockney Rottweiler called Moishe. It works for us .

RuggerHug DH is Polish so I like to taunt him with the Russian national anthem. I am Iranian so he taunts me as being Saudi. Good old nationalist banter!

Haha! Excellent thread, been through some tough times lately and this has reminded me how silly DP and I used to be, definitely time to reintroduce some of the silliness. We do give our cats voices all of the time, kind of russian sounding and all aways pluralised, ie last thing at night when they decide to chase each other up and down the stairs we say 'and now we do our runnings'. Very funny to us but most likely just odd!

You sound hilarious and delightful

@kennehora, I think I love you. 😁