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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask DH to sort his body hair

134 replies

DroningOn · 06/06/2019 22:39

DH has a hairy belly and chest and I'm sick of finding hair in the bed.

It pokes out of the neck of anything he wears except a buttoned up shirt and tie and gathers all the lint off the inside of his tshirts and it collects in his belly button.

New tshirts are the worst, especially those of a contrasting colour - nothing worse than seeing him climbing into bed with a wad of red fluff in his navel.

Might grow out my pubes and bikini line in protest.

OP posts:

pinkdelight · 07/06/2019 07:38

The belly button lint this is a constant source of entertainment here - many years into the marriage, it still amuses me how reliable it is that there'll be fresh fluff in his belly button.

Honestly thought this thread would be about some bizarre hairiness but it's his chest and stomach for heavens sake. Those are totally normal hairy areas for a man and no way would I expect him to 'sort' it for me. (Nor do I sort my hair for him!) YABVU

IWouldPreferNotTo · 07/06/2019 07:38

There are problems you might not have considered.

The main one is where do you stop shaving? It might seem easy to say, well just shave your back and chest but then it looks like you have arm warmers on.

So you shave your back, chest, shoulders, arms and now it looks like you're wearing furry trousers.

So you shave your back, chest, shoulders, arms, legs and you're completely hairless apart from your hands, fingers and toes.

Now it starts to grow back and you've got full body stubble which lint and fluff sticks to much more readily, think of fuzzy felt.

cantfindname · 07/06/2019 07:38

Hairy men are my biggest turn on!

OP was my big cuddly teddy bear, the very best to snuggle up to. I would never have dreamed of asking him to trim/remove it.

cantfindname · 07/06/2019 07:39

OP? Obviously I don't know the OP , or, indeed, if she is hairy... I meant DP

HJWT · 07/06/2019 07:40

Ask him to get a hair trimmer so its not as thick but don't make him totally get rid then the stubble will pike you if you cuddle 😂😂😂

bumblingbovine49 · 07/06/2019 07:40

DH has A LOT of body hair. I knew that when I married him. I have zero problem with it. It is part of him and I like it. I do gently tease him sometimes about it so stones buy only because I know he is not sensitive about it

I have never and I mean NEVER shaved my bikini line. I think once it twice I have trimmed any stray hairs when wearing a costume. I almost never shaved under my arms as a young woman either though I did shave my legs occasionally

I.am.now in my 50s and my under arm and leg hair is almost gone ( post menopause). It seems to have migrated to my chin though . In 20 years my husband has never once said anything about it. He found me attractive underarm hair or not.

Body hair is not the same as something like putting on weight. I assume he had it when you married him? It is totally unreasonable to ask him to get rid of it on a regulr basis based on you finding hair in the bed .

The t shirt lint thing is easy. I can't say I have ever noticed this on DH but just ask him to.make sure he removes it in the bathroom before coming to bed if you find it off putting.

blackcat86 · 07/06/2019 07:41

I do understand that finding body hair is annoying but unless you're a perfectly waxed and manicured barbie doll, surely the real issue is about acceptance of his body and his contribution to cleaning so that it's not constantly found everywhere. I hope that you dont have any Male children if you have such a lack of acceptance to what is normal for men.

quietcontentment · 07/06/2019 07:44

surely you knew he was hairy from the start, if you find it that awful why on earth did you go on to marry him? I Know some women dont like hairy men but if thats the case you just dont get involved.

My DH is very hairy back, chest , belly, arms and his facial hair grows back very quickly.I personally think its manly. I also like his rough callous hands from being a mechanic, again manly. Personally a very buff, smooth man with soft hands is a big turn off for me, I wouldnt date someone like this, marry them then want them to become manly. So yes YABVU!

2beautifulbabs · 07/06/2019 07:44

My DH has a hairy chest and belly but I don't mind it thankfully he doesn't have a hairy back or shoulders I think that's where I would draw the line as would he he's told me if ever he had a hairy back or shoulders he'd wax 🤣

bumblingbovine49 · 07/06/2019 07:48

I have never understood the problem with a hairy back and shoulders . People are so weird about it. DH has a hairy back and ahoulders. It is a much bigger area than my legs ( which I never waxed either) I can't imagine how painful it would be to wax the whole thing !!!

acatcalledjohn · 07/06/2019 07:50

YABU. Shouldn't have married him if the body hair bothers you that much.

sockatoe · 07/06/2019 08:00

Wow. I'm amazed how many women think they have the right to complain about their partner's body hair or hair style. There would be total outrage if their partner complained about the lady's hairstyle or body hair. Personal hygiene- totally. Otherwise, accept who he is (maybe have a little look at older male relatives to predict the future if necessary, but other than that, relax).

Oblomov19 · 07/06/2019 08:06

Eh?
How long is long?
What exactly are you expecting him to do?

Itsnotme123 · 07/06/2019 08:09

IWouldPreferNotTo you crack me up, I’m in stitches 🤣

I know where you’re coming from DroningOn. My ex had hairy shoulders and back and I found it a big turn off. But as someone said, you don’t design yourself, but my god you can improve yourself. My new partner has hairs in all the right places and he’s perfect.

Just broach the subject with him and see how he feels.

LuckyAmy1986 · 07/06/2019 08:09

Start calling him Chewbakka

Oh yes lovely behaviour. As long as you don’t mind him teasing you about something on your body of course and calling you a name as well?

44HuntJas · 07/06/2019 08:10

YANBU to say you don't like it. I don't like hairy men.

44HuntJas · 07/06/2019 08:11

@oblomov19 that's a grim picture (the hair!!!)

Disfordarkchocolate · 07/06/2019 08:14

I married a man with 6 chest hairs. Nearly 20 years later he's quite hairy. He really dislikes the back and shoulder hair, I may offer to shave him.

Halloumimuffin · 07/06/2019 08:18

My DP is quite hairy and I love his chest and belly hair. Not so much his back and neck hair, but he hates that too and removes it before going on holiday. Problem is - male hair is so bloody thick. Doing the back of his neck takes AGES and it hurts him a lot. I only do it because he asks, then it's all back again a few weeks later anyway.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 07/06/2019 08:21

My DH is quite hairy and although I like chest hair, I don't like it on his back and stomach! It doesn't seem to fall out in bed, but it DOES fall out in the bath - and does he ever rinse it out when he has finished ........?

Preggosaurus9 · 07/06/2019 08:21

They get hairier as they get older. My DH was quite hairless but his back is starting to populate not envy.

Women are expected to perform grooming to stave off the effects of aging, why should men be any different?

MsMustDoBetter · 07/06/2019 08:24

Body hair is normal - for men and women.

YABU

44HuntJas · 07/06/2019 08:28

Women are expected to perform grooming to stave off the effects of aging, why should men be any different?

DP does the courtesy of trimming down below if he wants any action because otherwise I'm not putting my mouth anywhere near that thing I reciprocate.

I hate beards too. How does grease and food and sweat not collect in it - then you kiss them? Urgh

WhoWasIt · 07/06/2019 08:30

Imagine this the other way round?
I've never shaved / waxed any of my body hair because i believe in being au naterel. However my OH keeps complaining and saying how he prefers a woman to be 'smooth' AIBU to tell him to shut up or should i comply with his wishes and remove it all?
The outrage from other Mnetters would reach fever pitch before you could say Bic.
Leave him alone OP, his body, his choice. If you want smooth, you should have married smooth. You can't be with someone and then demand they change to suit your own wishes.

NicciLovesSundays · 07/06/2019 08:31

Cant figure out if most of you are all taking the piss or not in this thread....

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