Awful feedback in appraisal

[ele1000]

Namechanged as identifying.

Today I had my yearly appraisal and as part of it had 360 feedback from my colleagues.

There is a colleague I work alongside, closely, on the same projects but in different teams (think project manager and engineer type scenario). I am the specialist in this case. I have posted before about this man but basically he makes my life hell. He is aggressive, rude, stubborn and thinks he knows more than me desire a degree in my specialism. He refuses to negotiate on any task and any job I do for him is met with constant criticism.

My line managers met with me to discuss the feedback and basically said I had failed to meet my objectives, based mainly on feedback from the colleague. I asked to see the feedback and was told I couldn't. Further questioning revealed this was because it was a three page critique on me, where he has criticised my character, work, ability to meet deadlines, management style etc etc. It is not constructive and more of a character assassination.

I was obviously very upset after this and my managers gave me a hard time. I was told there was nothing positive.

Today I found this wasn't true at all and all other colleagues had given me very positive feedback. In the whole time I've worked in the business and not with this man I've received positive feedback.

So how do I move forward? I feel in an impossible situation where if I continue to work with this man I will never move up. I come home from work crying every day and not sure I can carry on.

Can you go to HR about this? To be honest it seems like a horrible place to work!! Personally, I would hand in my notice, write down the reason you are leaving ie. "bullied by a collegue and that management seem to be taking his side due to the fact that they only took his negative critism of me on-board for my 360 review, and not the positive feed back from other employees" etc. Throw it back in their face that it is due to them that you are leaving.

I worked with a woman, we got on well at the start (different teams) and we were friends outside of work. But then I was moved to help her as the job was getting more demanding. She soon realised that I was better at her job than her, and one day I made a mistake, she emailed me (I sat beside her) and CC'd my boss (who sat across from her) giving out. Boss (who preferred me) said out loud "ABC if there is a mistake made by XYZ then fix it, she does it for you with out making a big deal out of it and letting me know" this riled the other girl up even more, HR got involved as they monitored our emails and could see the emails she was sending to people on my old team about me. When I was offered a renewal contract I turned it down and explained that I didn't want to work with her any more. On my last day she cried as she knew she would not be able to work without me! I couldn't have given less of a shit. She made my life hell!!

The freedom I felt walking out of there on the last day, and knowing that she knew she had fucked up made it feel even better.

There is no point putting up with that kind of shit in work, never ever will I do it again!

Best of luck with it OP!

I stayed in a job far too long hoping for things to improve, I was constantly undermined and made to feel as though everything was my fault, my health (mental and physical) suffered as a result.

I have a new job and am getting amazing feedback and I know I haven’t changed.

Some workplaces are just toxic. Get out if you can, your colleague will not suddenly realise he is an arse. Management haven’t done anything so far about him and have told you they’re not going to. Seriously, leave them to it.

I would hesitate to leave without involving HR for a agreement about a reference in your case.

Since you have HR and they appear to be separate, I'd write a factual and unemotional email to them and attach the emails where you've raised his behaviour with your manager, especially the drink spilling one and mention your witness to it.

Then describe how the feedback has been managed and asked for a meeting with them...

Been thinking about this and have to go out without catching up on messages, apologies if already said.

It is worth forwarding any incriminating emails from work sent by these bullies to your home email address. These will conveniently be deleted from the system at work should you need them, going down the route of constructive dismissal etc. Also take yourself copies of any important reports you have written, they are your portfolio for your CV. They are work’s property of course but you are entitled to have your own copy. If the shit hits the fan and you have to leave suddenly it is a real shame to not have these things. I would go further and say don’t keep too many personal possessions at work you care about then doesn’t matter if you don’t feel able to go in again.

I would hazard This is nothing to do with your performance and everything to do with managing you out of your job.
Gdpr Subject access request is the way i would go.
HR are not your friend. They are there to protect the managers and the company.

Senior manager here too (public sector though). I cannot believe your manager would say you were 'playing the victim card'! Even if this has a grain of truth, it's so unprofessional.

Show them how much of a 'victim' you are and come out fighting. You can still look for other jobs but stand your ground here, even if it's for the sake of the other women who follow you. Bullying thrives in the dark, shine a spotlight right on this prick.

It is crucial for you to understand that you are in the right, here.

Please DO NOT DO ANYTHING until you have spoken with ACAS if you are in the UK.

SandyY2K Sorry Altiara and others have given sound HR and union advice, so please follow that.

Create a folder at home and log everything. If you are allowed to send documents to your personal address, please do so.

DO NOT contemplate leaving. This is your specialism. He is NOT your manager but a bitter, misogynistic and physically aggressive bully. Keep him in that category and go through HIS manager if you need to establish what work to do.

Line up your witnesses: the drink incident, the 360 collator and others. Remember that people gave you positive feedback so you are not alone. Reach out to them for support.

Take control of your work and take pleasure in being brilliant at it. Be the expert that you are.

Your managers are colluding with the bully. You need to tread carefully with them. ACAS should advise you what to tell HR.

Seeking mediation with the 2 managers is better than raising a grievance about them, but you should include their actions as part of your grievance. The grievance is about the bully and his actions towards you.

I wish you so much strength. Remember that there is positive feedback and this will help you through the next few weeks. We are all here for you.

I work in HR. Some people are c*nts.

for you x

OP be aware that you cannot rely on people stepping forward as witnesses in this toxic environment. They will have to protect their own jobs. They will keep their head down and thank goodness it is not them in the firing line. They might even be sucking up to the toxic AH who gave your 360 feedback. They will want to stay on his right side.

So LM is saying that nobody at all in your colleagues who gave feedback including themself, can find one single positive thing to say about you?

This is absolutely true-to-type for these toxic managers, they collude, make the person's name mud and distort even the things that are "going the extra mile" and make them into negatives if it suits their agenda. It makes no sense, it's unfair, but it's reality.

I would ask the colleagues who gave positive feedback ( strictly off-the-record) how long your predecessors lasted and why they left. I’m guessing quite a few left due to him and they were similarly thrown under a bus.

Thanks for all responses,

I got sent the feedback yesterday. As predicted it is all positive apart from the comments from this one guy. He has gone into lots of detail about specific incidents ignoring all the mitigating factors. He also says I need to 'win back respect from my colleagues' but obviously with no other negative comments, it doesn't appear that I've lost it from any of them.

They also only asked four people and my own manager didn't provide any feedback. Is this usual? They are obviously the person working with me the closest.

As predicted it is all positive apart from the comments from this one guy

That’s good that everyone else has given positive feedback.

Know people who have done 360 reviews in a number of organisations and they’ve always chosen the people themselves but must include a manager. Your company sounds like it’s doing it on the cheap!

First one I had was similar to years. 1 really bad feedback and the rest 15+ all said the same (give or take) and was balanced. I knew exactly who had written it and they were an idiot. The facilitator told me it happens and to ignore it.

I had a colleague exactly like this in a previous role (to the extent I wonder if we have worked with the same person!!). He was incredibly rude, aggressive, undermining and disrespectful. I worked with him for three years and had a miserable time, in the end he was reported by someone else for bullying me, which went some way to getting things sorted but I had had enough anyway. I think with people like this it depends if you have a robust and fair management who will challenge him. It doesn't sound like that is the case so you probably can't win, it's a shame when that is the case but you might be better off looking for a new job. I found it took me a few years to get my confidence back after being undermined for so long.

What are you going to do now?

if he's made specific claims (you left on time, went for lunch) is there any way you can refute this (time sheets?)
And go through it bit by bit, make a summary of why it is inaccurate.

360 appraisals have to have 360 so I'd also ask why nobody senior to you has done one.

Do you have a paper/email trail of the times you have raised complaints about him? are there witnesses?

Good luck

Thanks for coming back and updating us, I was wondering how you were getting on.

Hopefully the positive feedback will help you to recover some confidence which must have been shattered after that grossly unprofessional appraisal.

Let us know how you get on this week. Good luck.