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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family photos with baby - excluding parents

45 replies

AcrobaticCardigan · 05/06/2019 13:27

We had our first baby this year and while DH and I have taken pics of each other with the baby, we’ve hardly any pics of the three of us together. I feel especially sad not to have that special first snap of us in hospital - both families visited us and got us to take pics of them with our new arrival! I was obviously not quite thinking straight for a few days following the birth or I would have asked them to take one of us, but I am quite surprised that neither of our families wanted that pic for themselves, or even thought that they should take a pic for us. This seems to be something of an ongoing trend - we see DHs family quite regularly - they’ve hundreds of photos of themselves with the baby but never take any including us. Is this unusual? If my DD has children I am pretty sure I’d love to have pics of her and her family not just me & the baby!!

OP posts:
babysharkah · 05/06/2019 13:29

Ask them to take them?

I used to complain to DH that if i got hit y a bus the kids would have had no idea what I looked like. It never ever occurred to him to take a photo and I didn't ask. Now we do selfies.

Hisashiburi · 05/06/2019 13:29

Congrats on the birth!
You just need to be straight forward and ask people to take a photo of you as a family. People will assume that you already have some just just make sure that you ask.

Holdthedamndoor · 05/06/2019 13:32

People will assume if you want a photo, all 3 of you. You would ask. They probably think you asked someone else and at least have some.

Yabu. This is that important to you, but you or your dh didnt think to ask?

No one is excluding anyone

Sirzy · 05/06/2019 13:32

I think it is one of those things which if you don’t ask you don’t get.

Especially when in hospital they may have not wanted to put you in an awkward position asking for pictures of you!

TulipsTwoLips · 05/06/2019 13:35

If I were your relative I would have presumed that you had already sorted some of the three of you, so it wouldn’t be something I’d offer to do.

Whoops75 · 05/06/2019 13:35

Some new mothers don’t want to be in photos, It’s hard to know if it’s ok or not.

YABU if you think it’s up to someone else. You need to ask.

thefavourite · 05/06/2019 13:35

I'm 12 years and 3 kids in and this still drives me mad! I don't want to have to ask!!

DH, my parents, his parents - they all do it!

BertrandRussell · 05/06/2019 13:38

It’s a shame you didn’t think to ask- :( . We didn’t either- but when we had the second one the midwife offered-which was lovely. Even though all three of us look like shit!

Seahorseshoe · 05/06/2019 13:42

This is the case with all 3 of mine. In fact, with my second 2 - I have no photos with them, my one till he was six weeks old! It was because I took the photographs. My goal with the second 2 was to get sibling snaps. Also, back in the day, it was all film rolls, not digital.

Laiste · 05/06/2019 13:44

I would think it's quite a common thing to find you have no shots of both parents and baby right after the birth. No one is thinking straight! :)

Personally in the first few days after the birth i feel like i look such a state that i hate having photos taken - then months later i wish i'd had more.

Why don't you set yourselves up and get someone to take some family shots for you?

StCharlotte · 05/06/2019 13:50

Bit confused.

Most of these photos that I've seen lately have been selfies. Was that not an option?

Anyway, congratulations on your new baby OP Smile

elliejjtiny · 05/06/2019 13:52

Just realised we have hardly any as well. We had a professional photo done of me, dh and the dc's when dc2 was a few weeks old and fil took one of us all when we came home from hospital with Dc3.

reluctantbrit · 05/06/2019 13:55

We have several taken by my mum or PIL but I think that's because they like to take group photos anyway and did so pre-baby.

You won't get baby+parent photos unless you ask for them. It won't change unless you make an effort. I just went just with DD away and it looks like she was all on her own, not a single photo with me and her.

I def didn't want a group photo of DD, DH and me straight after birth.

ZoeWashburne · 05/06/2019 13:56

Get some nice professional photos done. Lots of photographers do ‘mini sessions’ at one location and you pay for a 30 minute slot. It’s so nice to have professional portraits that are high resolution and frameable.

Also, don’t be afraid to step in and ask for some photos. When you take photos of others, ask them to take a photo of you guys.

freshasthebrightbluesky · 05/06/2019 13:57

We didn't have any family photos until our wedding 8 months after our youngest was born!

There are no photos of me pregnant or with my youngest as a newborn - the earliest is from about 5-6 weeks old. I've told dh several times that it upsets me that there are no records of me on our family holidays or days out or just playing with the dc.

My hobby is photography and I bought a new dslr. One of its features was that I could use an app on my phone to compose and take photos so I used this to take a few family shots (mainly because one dc had to do this for their homework for some reason) and I had them printed and framed.

jackparlabane · 05/06/2019 14:01

My mum advised that if we were going to get portraits done, do it when the babies are 7 months and at their cutest (and the parents look less haggard...)

We got together with others from antenatal classes and had a portrait party, photographer snapping whichever babies were awake and happy at the time.

I have a few photos of me or DP when babies were tiny, but none are ones we'd show anyone else - I look frankly terrible in all of them!

stayathomer · 05/06/2019 14:01

I'm sorry you didn't get any pics. I now stop people posing for photos and ask do they want me to take it and I always ask people to take pictures. I used to not want to seem pushy but it has to be done and people are happy to do it!

MorondelaFrontera · 05/06/2019 14:04

I am quite surprised that neither of our families wanted that pic for themselves

I think you are overestimating the importance of the photo of the 3 of you for everybody else to be honest!

People don't think, or don't dare because some mums feel like crap and would burst into tears at the idea of a photo.

Don't be scared to ask now to make sure you do have photos of all of you at family events.

crazyasafox · 05/06/2019 14:04

Why can you not take a selfie?

Like this

Family photos with baby - excluding parents
AnnieMay100 · 05/06/2019 14:09

This happened to me I’m still sad there are no photos of me and my youngest together in the first few days and only one of us all as a family. They’re 12 and 10 now so I did eventually have some taken as they got older but it’s not the same having early ones missing. Ask friends/relatives to take some or get a camera with a timer to take your own, just get those photos taken they’re important.

BertrandRussell · 05/06/2019 14:09

Incidentally, my favourite pictures of mine when they were little are all of them with other people. I’ve got a lovely one with dd, mil, her mother and her mother on gggrandma’s 100th birthday!

ReggaetonLente · 05/06/2019 14:11

Our midwife took one for us in the hospital, she suggested it actually.

I agree though, I find it annoying too, we went to a family attraction at the weekend and bloody SIL wanted pics with DD at every opportunity, not once did she ask would we like her to take one of us.

ElizaPancakes · 05/06/2019 14:11

This bothers me too OP. Even if I’ve just taken a pic of DH and kids it doesn’t occur to him to take one of me and them Confused. There was an ad a few years ago (sure it was P&G or some large company) where the idea was to put mum front and centre instead of behind the camera. I thought it was great. I hate the way I look in photos but I take them anyway because the memories are lovely even if I look shit. Plus, my mum is the same, but the photos she hates I love because they have such fond memories surrounding them.

What mums would burst into tears at being asked if they want a photo?!

crazyasafox · 05/06/2019 14:18

How are people meant to know you want a pic taken with all 3 of you in the hospital/just after the birth? If you don't tell them!! Confused

People aren't psychic! Just bloody ask!

crazyasafox · 05/06/2019 14:18

How are people meant to know you want a pic taken with all 3 of you in the hospital/just after the birth? If you don't tell them!! Confused

People aren't psychic! Just bloody ask!

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