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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to change my mind about baby name

53 replies

Cantthinkofausername1990 · 05/06/2019 09:31

So baby no. 2 is due shortly.
I chose the name for our first child so I told dh to choose this time - I said as long as I don't really hate his suggestion we'll go with it.
So we found out at 20 weeks were expecting a boy. He told me his name suggestion and I didn't love it but didn't hate it either. Although uncommon, it is a normal name. So I agreed that's what we will call him.
So he has told all his family and my family that this is the baby's name, when talking about the baby he uses the name he has chosen as does our other ds. Some family have bought personalised items with the name on it.
But now I'm not sure I want to go with this name. WIBU at this stage to say I've changed my mind on the name when dh has been calling the baby this name for the last 4 months?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2019 09:34

Honestly? Kinda.

You should have agreed that yo uwrre OK with it in theory but you'd wait to see what baby looked like etc. Or you permitted him to tell everyone Inc DS and let them use it.

Of course you can tell him you've changed your mind about liking it, but don't expect him to be thrilled.

What's the name?

Pumperthepumper · 05/06/2019 09:36

I don’t think you’re unreasonable, I always think it’s a bit strange to be dead set on a name for a child you haven’t even seen yet. We had a short list of names for both DC (didn’t find out the sex for either) and ended up not using any of them. Tastes change, and sometimes you think ‘he just doesn’t look like a X’

Feelingwalkedover · 05/06/2019 09:56

Not unreasonable at all.
I chose the first names for all our children ,because I spent hours pushing them out of my body.
Had my dh birthed the children he could of happily named them.

dustarr73 · 05/06/2019 10:00

YABU.Its too late now.You picked first its only right your dh gets his pick now.

Huggybear16 · 05/06/2019 10:03

You are being a little unreasonable, as you told him to choose. But it's much easier to change it now than after he is born and registered. Speak to him. Are there similar names that you like better?

Constance1234 · 05/06/2019 10:06

I think you made an agreement and you have to stick to it. Unless you have grown to truly hate the name!

GreenTulips · 05/06/2019 10:08

Actually I think your DH is unreasonable - who tells everyone the name of an unborn child? Sure keep it in mind as a consideration.

I have no idea why your son is encouraged to use it as well!! Very strange.

Go back to the drawing board and have another chat about it. We had loads of names early in and soon dismissed them for others

BattenburgIsland · 05/06/2019 10:09

Unless you really hate it I'd stick with it tbh...you did say it was fine.
I had a wobble on both my childrens names briefly but we stuck with them and I'm glad because they really suit them. I think whatever name you pick you can get anxious about it at some point...

Pepperwand · 05/06/2019 10:12

I think YABU. You said he could choose, you've let that name be in use now for months and if you didn't want that name you should have said at the time. We did similar to you in that DC1s name was my choice so DC2s name was chosen by DH. It wasn't what I'd have chosen but it was a nice enough name and now it belongs to DC2 it is perfect for them. Naming children should always be a compromise between the parents and to be honest if it were purely up to my both of my children would have different names but my favourite suggestions were ones that my DH didn't like and it would have been totally unfair for me to force the issue so you compromise.

MadamMMA · 05/06/2019 10:15

I want to know what the name is Grin

LoafofSellotape · 05/06/2019 10:21

It could turn out to be a girl so I think anyone's a bit daft buying personalised items and calling the baby by a name before birth. I know two women who gave birth to babies of the opposite sex they were told at the scan and one who "had been doing it 25 years and was very experienced so of COURSE I'm sure" when asked if they were 100% sure.

Just tell your dh you're not keen and you'd like to think of another name.

Omzlas · 05/06/2019 10:23

I too want to know the name now

YABU, to a degree. I didn't find out sex with either of mine but we did shortlist some names. I certainly wouldn't expect family members to rock up with personalised things at this stage - you do know that scans can be wrong!? I know of 2 people who were told one sex and then when baby was born, they had to go round and return / exchange pink for blue etc.

SmellbowSmellbow123 · 05/06/2019 10:24

Has the baby been born yet? What if the scan was wrong and it’s a girl?! Not sure I’m keen on the idea of buying personalised stuff for a baby who’s not yet been born Confused

Pinkvoid · 05/06/2019 10:25

YABU. You told DH he could choose and you don’t hate the name so I don’t see an issue. I’d be peed off if I was a relative who had spent money on personalised items too.

Pinkvoid · 05/06/2019 10:26

It’s not common to sex a boy wrong. It’s easier to sex a girl wrong because bits can hide but if they have clearly seen a penis (and they are completely obvious on scans even to untrained eyes!) then it’s a boy.

LoafofSellotape · 05/06/2019 10:28

It’s not common to sex a boy wrong but that's exactly what happened to one of my friends, was told a girl and it was a bit. The other was told a bit and ended up with the sweetest little girl ever Smile

LoafofSellotape · 05/06/2019 10:29

**a boy

UnicornBrexit · 05/06/2019 10:29

It has to be joint decision.

NCforthis2019 · 05/06/2019 10:30

YABU - you let him choose, you said you wee ok with it and now, 4 months in have decided you dont like it?

LoafofSellotape · 05/06/2019 10:30

It has to be joint decision

Personally I think the person who grows the baby then pushes it out of their vagina gets to choose WinkGrin

AnnieMay100 · 05/06/2019 10:33

I don’t think you’re BU the baby isn’t here yet the name might not suit him, he could actually be a girl (this happened to my best friend last year) dh should have kept the name private until the baby arrived really. Speak to him about how you feel so he is aware and wait and see how you feel when the baby arrives. It’s no one else’s business so don’t worry about upsetting other people, I changed my eldest daughters name 3 times during pregnancy but we didn’t announce it until her birth.

user1480880826 · 05/06/2019 10:33

What’s the name?

Idontwanttotalk · 05/06/2019 10:38

I think it's unreasonable that everyone knows the name so far in advance anyway. Isn't that part of the joy of announcing the birth of your baby?

Personally, I would tell my DH that I'd changed my mind rather than call my baby by a name I'd decided I wasn't keen on.
I can't envisage using anything but a name I really love for a child I really love.

I think parents shouldn't take turns to name babies, rather they should come up with a name they both love.

ImnotlikearegularMomImacoolMom · 05/06/2019 10:41

I hope the name is Slithery. Quite uncommon but traditional x

SuperSara · 05/06/2019 10:42

Could you call him 'So'?

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