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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery put Henna on my child.

312 replies

Pencilcase123 · 04/06/2019 21:54

When my DH picked up our DD (4) from nursery one of the staff said she had drawn DDs initials in Henna on Dds hand because Dd insisted. DH did not complain.

I am baffled as to why the nursery would have Henna out in the first place. It is brown Henna and I don’t think it is particularly dangerous but I am quite miffed that nursery staff thought it was ok to give my 4 year old a temporary tattoo. Would you complain about this?

OP posts:
Isatis · 04/06/2019 22:46

more the possibility that OPs daughter could have had a severe allergic reaction

Extremely, extremely unlikely with brown henna

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 04/06/2019 22:47

I have pretty tough skin - but I had henna put on and the skin came up in blisters. I had a lovely angry red pattern on my skin for ages.

Outofinspiration · 04/06/2019 22:48

Wow, I'm surprised they didn't do a consent form for this in this day and age!!!

LimeKiwi · 04/06/2019 22:50

They should have asked first.
Suffer from eczema and sensitive skin in this household and DS could easily have reacted to anything like face paints or henna at that age.
Not OK. With permission, yes. Without permission, absolutely not.

Miljah · 04/06/2019 22:50

None of you have teenagers, do you? 😂

Nesssie · 04/06/2019 22:50

It’s more the semi-permanence of henna. Felt pen and glue washes now off, henna stays for at least a week. I wouldn’t be too happy about it.

Alsohuman · 04/06/2019 22:51

Do unclench, I can’t believe people get worked up over such trivia.

Wildorchidz · 04/06/2019 22:51

None of you have teenagers, do you? 😂

Yes I do actually.

TheRealShatParp · 04/06/2019 22:52

I wouldn’t mind so can’t really relate to people getting so worked up about it to be honest. If this gets you riled up then you have a pretty stress free life.

GabsAlot · 04/06/2019 22:52

Four year old insisted-what if she insisted to juggle with knives

RaptorWhiskers · 04/06/2019 22:52

I’d be furious. People have been scarred for life by henna. And a 4yo shouldn’t be able to “insist” - the staff should be able to say no.

LimeKiwi · 04/06/2019 22:53

None of you have teenagers, do you

I do, DS I mentioned in my previous post is a now teen lol.
If he decided to get henna or face paint or whatever now which I wouldn't have let do at that age because of sensitive skin, I'm of the opinion he;s big enough and daft enough to make his own decisions and I can't be following him around saying "no" all the time lol

BackforGood · 04/06/2019 22:53

In this day and age I'm surprised they didn't get permission first, but I wouldn't be cross or upset about it. I would be rather pleased my dc got to enjoy celebrations from all sorts of cultures.

LimeKiwi · 04/06/2019 22:54

Do unclench, I can’t believe people get worked up over such trivia

Presumably said by someone blessed with no skin problems

Thertruthisoutwhere · 04/06/2019 22:54

I would complain, awful behaviour. You dont know if you react to new toxins and I wouldn't risk it on a small child (same reason i wouldn't get ears pierced). Asking = totally fine, not fine to just steam ahead. As a kid i had weird reactions to random things and it was awful so my mum didnt let me wear kids' perfume etc until i waa older amd my system waa more developed.

My nursery won't even let DS progress to the next stage of the dairy ladder without a lot of discussion and rightly so, allergies are dangerous!

WillLokireturn · 04/06/2019 22:55

I would be concerned about this, having two DC with eczema & one with severe allergies. It really ought've required consent form, it's surprising they didn't seek that as even a school would need that.
I'd talk to the nursery manager. I wouldn't go in accusatory but I'd want to know what it was and to be reassured for future, as it sounds like one nursery worker has breached a policy there. If you know about it and consent - no problem, as it's nice to join in celebrations.

Alsohuman · 04/06/2019 22:55

Said by someone with a sense of proportion.

ellendegeneres · 04/06/2019 22:56

My eldest would have loved this- until the point it wouldn’t wash off so would have had meltdowns until it wore off. So I’d have said no to consenting for him, had I been asked.
Youngest, I’d have said crack on. Two very different kids. But at the same time, I’d have wanted my consent sought.

Of my two, eldest has eczema, youngest allergies. Eldests isn’t visible, nor youngests until he has what he can’t.

The ‘none of you have teenagers’ comment is stupid- it’s been done in nursery where the child can’t give informed consent for something like this knowing what an allergic reaction would feel like. That’s the whole point.

LimeKiwi · 04/06/2019 22:56

Said by someone with a sense of proportion

More like not a clue about others circumstances and lives in their own little bubble to be so blase.

Dvg · 04/06/2019 23:00

As someone allergic to a lot of them i would say yanbu, its really dangerous and people have really suffered from it.

That's why skin patch tests are done -_-

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 04/06/2019 23:04

The things is it's irrelevant if you would be ok with it,you don't think it's a big deal or the kid had fun. OP is not happy with it,and it's not ok for the nursery to use a semi permanent substance, that couldn't be reasonably expected to be in a nursery without a consent form. Then OP could make an informed decision, for her pre schooler. But they didn't ask and that is what's wrong here. Good practice means they have to ask.

Uzicorn · 04/06/2019 23:06

This reply has been deleted

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PonderingPanda · 04/06/2019 23:08

It wouldn't bother me but my DC don't have allergies

Comefromaway · 04/06/2019 23:10

I’d have gone loopy. Dd reacted very badly to several different brands of face paints and make up as a child to the extent that when she was in a dance show dressed up as a cat I had to specially source face paints for her that she didn’t react to after patch testing etc.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 04/06/2019 23:12

Henna is not used just by followers of Islam.

Hmm right back at you.