Nursery put Henna on my child.

[Pencilcase123]

When my DH picked up our DD (4) from nursery one of the staff said she had drawn DDs initials in Henna on Dds hand because Dd insisted. DH did not complain.

I am baffled as to why the nursery would have Henna out in the first place. It is brown Henna and I don’t think it is particularly dangerous but I am quite miffed that nursery staff thought it was ok to give my 4 year old a temporary tattoo. Would you complain about this?

This wouldn't bother me at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

If this is the biggest issue in your life then you should count yourself very lucky.

It really wouldn't bother me - it's not really that different to face paint.

From talking to some of my sixth formers who do henna, it is a very natural product and very unlikely to cause a reaction. I have quite bad eczema - can't use a lot of perfumed soaps, have to use certain washing powder etc. I have had henna done by our girls several times and never had an issue (I'm not Asian and until I worked at my current school had never tried it).

It also washes off pretty quickly if you are bathing daily, washing hands without gloves etc. Plus it fades too.

They were probably just talking about Eid etc. and I honestly wouldn't get worked up about it.

If this is the biggest issue in your life then you should count yourself very lucky

Just because it’s not the biggest issue in life doesn’t make it not a fuck up on behalf of the nurseries who did it without permission.

Face paint usually requires permission too. Anything that is externally applied to sit on the skin, e.g. not a smudge of ink that is washed off, can cause irritation.

The OP isn't running around hysterically, she has a very valid point. Those who don't care fine, but the majority like choice in advance regarding their DC.

You absolutely need to withdraw your child from these dangerous environments.

My pearls are all over the floor...

Having seen the absolute agony that dd went through because of face paint it would have been an issue thank you.

I'd be annoyed because of the semi permanence, especially if it's just her initials. I'd not make a formal complaint though, just ask them to check in future - I'd have been really pissed off if we were going to a wedding or something and my kid had their initials scrawled across their hand!

But your daughter did ask for the tattoo and she is completely fine.

And my child asked me at a similar age if he could drive my car. Should I have let him, just because he asked?

And my child asked me at a similar age if he could drive my car. Should I have let him, just because he asked?

Mine asked the nursery manager if she could go live with them as they live on a farm!

It's a big issue to those of us who have to worry about the next allergic reaction.

@SmiledWithTheRisingSun I am sorry I didn't realise that AIBU is only for talking about the biggest issue in our lives. You should probably inform all of the other posters. The boards might be a bit empty though.

It's a big issue to those of us who have to worry about the next allergic reaction.

This is getting into cancel the cheque territory. Natural henna doesn't cause allergic reactions.

@Isatis maybe actually bother reading the thread first. Grass is natural, nuts are natural. Milk is natural. So why do you lack the common sense to understand that henna can and HAS caused an allergic reaction.

She felt compelled to do it because ur daughter insisted on it . She was probably going to be very upset if the nursery DIDNT do it . Would you have complained then too ?

I don’t know anyone who has had an allergic reaction to natural henna . Been to a million fairs and school bazaars with the stuff flying around . Don’t remember mentioning allergies ....

JMO. I accept that my son will learn about different religions, we are raising him agnostic, his school celebrate a range of festivals and it probably makes things more interesting. However I would not be happy with school deliberately "defacing" my son without permission. Facepaints that wash off after a few hours, fine, I'd still like to be told of such plans in advance in case we had an appointment or family plans after school. Henna that lasts for a few days/weeks, I would expect our permission to be sought.

@Thedilemma111 I expect the nursery to tell my daughter no when she wants to do something unwise. She is 4 they are adults.

Many people have given examples of being allergic to Henna on this thread.

OP I'm a bit bewildered at the 'clutching pearls ' comments. Seems that on AIBU there's always those assuming you have an extreme view.

I think you have reacted very sensibly. Of course in the grand scheme of things its a non issue BUT nursery/primary school are supposed to have written permission even for face paint. Some children have incredibly sensitive skin, some parents are just precious!!

You've responded calmly and sensibly which is likely to avoid issues in the future.

Ask to see the risk assessment for this activity
They should have asked for written permission
Complain to head office, not the manager as they may try to minimise it, to straight to the top, operations manager or area manager

I agree, a non issue.
sign a consent for everything

why dont you Sue if you are so concerned op, sue for being upset by it.

Since OPs DD still has the tattoo marks, and they are black, it clearly wasn't “natural henna”. Therefore some strong chemical stuff was used, and the nursery should certainly be flagged on this. OP please take pictures showing the colour, and how long it stays on, for your own records, and so you cannot be gaslighted with “its natural, innit, whatsda problem?”

why dont you Sue if you are so concerned op, sue for being upset by it.

The OP's question is "Would you complain about this?". If anyone is wildly overreacting it's you.

Natural henna doesn't cause allergic reactions

What a load of absolute nonsense, sorry.
ANYTHING can cause allergic reactions on different people.

Pencilcase123

Clearly the nursery didn’t think it’s unwise to use henna .

I don’t suggest that natural henna will NEVER cause allergies .
in my post . A very small percentage of the population will react to extremely routine and commonly used foods and products and that says more about the individual in that it would be against the grain of what might USUALLY be a fine product or food to consume . It would therefore be a UNUSUAL .

For example a child COULD react to a new type of glue the nursery used which they got on their fingers . That doesn’t necessarily mean that the nursery were UNWISE to use it ! It may NOT be something that they would REASONABLY have expected to cause an allergy !

Which may be the case with this HENNA . They obviously were using It and had no REASONABLE basis to think it was going to cause an allergic reaction in YOUR child .

As I said in my previous post , I do not know ANYONE who has had a reaction to natural henna . That does not mean that no one has reacted to natural henna . But my GUESS is that it would be UNLIKELY.

If your child was allergic to other things , and that their allergic tendencies were lined to the nursery , I’d understand why you’d have this concern.

I think you just didn’t like the nursery putting the henna on your child . Just tell them that and be done with it .

Bear In mind though , that your CHILD wanted the henna on . No harm came to her .

I think you are barking up the wrong tree going on about allergies . There are parents out there whose kids DO react to things and live through the hell and the stress of it .

I think you are ungrateful , the child wanted henna and the nursery obliged . They did not REASONABLY believe that any harm would come to your child .

I think , as I said earlier , that you just didn’t want the henna on your child’s hands . If you don’t like henna tell the nursery you don’t want henna on your child’s hands again and be done with it .

Remember that your child may see other kids enjoying this art form again, and that they will not be able to partake even if they want to . And that is your choice .

Of course I’m taking about natural henna here ,