To take on this child as his own

[Mommmytobe19]

Name changed for this one.

So I had been with my partner for around 2 years and we split up and I moved out as we were just so unhappy constant arguing not getting along. He was meeting other women and I met a man Over the period of about 4 months. Both wasn’t anything serious probably just a bit of a rebound and each party knew what it was. Long story short I ended up pregnant and wasn’t sure if it was ex partner or rebound man as I saw my ex a week or so after rebound man. I didn’t tel my ex straight away there may be chance and I know I’m in the wrong for that but finally confessed at 12 week when the scan said it was rebound man baby but I know these aren’t always accurate and can be a week either side.

Ex now wants to get back together and raise baby as his own. He has spoken with rebound man who said he wants nothing to do with baby and for us to raise as our own.

Ex wants me to move back in and said everything will be fine we will move and live happily ever after. But he isn’t interested in anything I tell him about the pregnancy - which I understand is hard for him and it is my fault but if he is going to raise as his own then should he show a bit more interest? I’m preparing to be flamed for this.

He said he is excited for ME to find out the sex of the baby and hasn’t acknowleged anything I’ve said about feeling the baby move or any bump pictures I have sent him. Should I just back off and let him come to me and find his own path?? I know it’s far from ideal but I do want this family but not if it’s going to hurt him every day if it does turn out to be rebound mans baby. He has also said he doesn’t want to have a paternity test as he will raise the baby as his no matter what.

He doesn’t really open up to me about how he feels either and I’m worried he’s just saying what I want to hear to make me happy and sticking his head in the sand hoping we will live this happy life we once dreamed of.

Don’t really know what I’m expecting to hear from people. Sorry for the essay!

I would go it alone. You were arguing constantly so split up and the only reason you’re back together is because you’re pregnant but it’s not even his baby?

Recipe for disaster. Raise the baby alone.

Yeah echo most others in here, it won't be healthy for either you or your baby to live with a guy who's going to make you feel guilty forever more about this. OK you should have told him straight away but if he can't get over that then you are all in for a miserable life (baby included) Also, it doesn't sound like you should have gotten back together with him anyway from what you've said he was like before

I’m never ceased to be amazed at how hard and drama filled people make life for themselves

Not the point of the thread, but if you are concerned about turning the heating on in June then your house is going to be FREEZING in winter. Can you move? If not, then get pest control in for the woodlice (eeeww!) and there's a thread in Classics about how to heat your house on a budget.

o the more you type the more abuse we get to hear about. Leave him and don’t look back. Do a test when the baby is born but honestly? I wouldn’t even put him on the birth certificate. Crying is such a manipulative thing to do when it’s among all the other things you have typed. Leave, try and find somewhere else to live or sort the problems out and don’t look back.

He will hold it over you, like my father did over my mother. Far too much ammunition!!

@BlueSkiesLies

Well it’s just the way it falls sometimes - can’t do anything about it now can I.

@Tilikum

The storage heaters are so expensive when I first moved in the start of January I lived there for around 20 days before I had a heating bill (can’t remember the lump sum) but I worked out they had been charging me roughly around £10 a day and it was too cold to not put the heating on.

The wildlife I have informed my letting agent who has told me I need to sort this myself and any costs will be reimbursed by the landlord but I don’t have the money to pay for a weekly shop each week never mind pest control on top of buying things I need for my baby.

I have put myself on the council housing list but I’m not really classed as a priority as I am housed and in the grand scheme of things woodlice isn’t a major problem but I feel unclean and will begrudge bringing my baby back here whilst they are creepy crawlers in my bathroom and on the landing.

Everyone’s comments have given me a bit of a wake up call really and I’m realising that I am being pushed into doing something I don’t want to do and I’ve now made decisions to raise this baby away from this man. Thank you all for your help and support and I’ll definitely look into the freedom group.

Thank you all once again xx