AIBU to ask someone to stop sniffing

[PhoneyToney]

I was on a tour of a local attraction and one of the guides was sniffing every 10 seconds or so.

I was brought up to consider sniffing as rude and wasn't allowed to do it around my parents.

I found the sniffing to be unpleasant and distracting. I tried to ignore it but couldn't and after 10 minutes or so with no end in sight I asked them to stop. They said they had a medical condition ( I don't remember what ). I didn't say anything further - I didn't know what to say. They reduced the frequency and left soon afterwards.

Was the sniffer BU? WIBU to ask them to stop? What if they just had a cold? What if they had been farting or had tourettes?

@EL8888

Ok, cool. I take it you know better than the consultant rhinologist from the Royal Ear Nose and Throat Hospital quoted in the article linked. There's hearsay, and there's educated advice based upon knowledge of fact.

Not, 'ooh, but bacteria might irritate the stomach lining, maybe' (not).

Declaring it rude is like being stuck in some bizarre, ignorant, hyacinth bouquet bubble.

Plenty of those on Mumsnet, to be fair!

You were very unkind OP. But I suspect that you are fairly frequently and don't really care. So keep on being you!

Drawing attention to someone's health issue is far ruder than sniffing is. By all means tell your children not to sniff, but telling off a stranger and making them feel embarrassed and self conscious is terrible manners.

It'snot as if they were doing it for fun or to entertain you. I think you were both rude and totally unreasonable for asking them to stop. There could have been many reasons for the sniffing. Snot running down their face may have offended you more....or would it.

Yes you were unreasonable

Tbf, I was brought up with a strict no sniffing rule, it was considered very rude when I was a child. But it's ruder to comment on someone else's sniffing. Rules of etiquette are about not giving offence to others. Calling someone out for sniffing, whatever the cause, is a big fail.

Unfortunately I do think you were being unreasonable. I can understand how annoying it is. I have misophonia and when my son sniffs I have to bite my tongue and try very hard not to strangle him. In this case though, whatever the guys health issue is, you may well have made him feel pretty bad.

Was it a snotty sniff?

If it wasn't, although annoying, more likely to a tic. I (and his mother) would swear my exH had mild tics. And he would sniff like I think you are talking about.

Some people can't help it.

You was being unreasonable and very rude here, no wonder she left shortly afterwards, and then not even saying anything after she said she had a condition..maybe a sorry wouldn't been nice as you may of embarrassed her in front of more people...let's hope you never get told not to do something you cant help doing...
Sniffling = rude
Well I'm coughing and sniffling soni must be very very rude

I think most reasonable people on here agree that a) yes it is very unpleasant to listen to but b) accept that most people who sniff are not doing it on purpose to annoy us and is more often the result f a cold, hayfever etc. I think it was unnecessarily mean to point it out to her.

I was never aware that sniffing was such an offensive act.....

I find sniffing in public extremely irritating and people should do all they can to avoid disturbing others. Maybe people shouldn't jump all over someone for a few sniffs here and there when they have a stinking cold, but that's different to an every 5 and a half second sniffer. They should be taking steps to tone it down for the benefit of others in a public place. Blow your nose, preferably in private, use a tissue/handkerchief. Take decongestants, take the tablets, and god forbid resist the urge for a 30 seconds so its reduced to a manageable level for those around you. If you can't manage that then perhaps you're too ill to be in work/on public transport etc.

I think that this thread is somewhat typical of the attitudes to manners that many seem to have nowadays. Its about me, me, and me. My problems are the most important thing and the rest of you with have to go deal with it.

The 'medical' thing is just making excuses. Yeah the 1 in ten thousand might have incessant sniffing syndrome, but most are just gross and self absorbed. A bit like the threads where some kid punches another kid, and you can set your watch by 'be kind, he may have ADHD' or that everyone with a weight problem as a hormone imbalance, when that is a reason for about a 10th of 1%.

The 'medical' thing is just making excuses

What a kind, empathetic person you come across as

Myimaginarycathasfleas despite by last post, i strongly agree with you there. 99% of the time it is more impolite to draw attention to the etiquette breach than the breach itself.

I think that this thread is somewhat typical of the attitudes to manners that many seem to have nowadays. Its about me, me, and me.

You find sniffing irritating so you think no one should be allowed to sniff near you, and if they do it's ok for you to embarrass them about a medical condition?

Seriously, you think people shouldn't go to work or use public transport if they have a sniff just because you find it irritating?

That sounds pretty "me, me, me" to me. The world doesn't revolve around you.

LaurieMarlow I do have plenty of empathy. I just become exasperated by the amount of people that justify shocking behaviour in public by saying that they may have a condition. A disease that makes you sniff incessantly is a new one to me.

PCohle don't be so disingenuous. My post mad it clear I was talking about people sniffing very regularly. I refuse to believe it is necessary to be sniffing every 5 seconds. If it were just me that were disturbed then it would be a selfish attitude. But its the whole tour group, the whole bus, the whole office. etc.

A disease that makes you sniff incessantly is a new one to me.

And your extensive medical knowledge comes from where exactly?

You’ve been given a range of examples on this thread from people who suffer from these diseases.

What kind of arrogant arse are you that you just ‘refuse’ to believe. Don’t worry, I think I already know

I'm not being disingenuous. Do you really it's reasonable to expect people not to use public transport or go to work because their sniffing might irritate you? That's unbelievably self-centred such that you are accusing sniffers of being selfish. Most people are perfectly capable of zoning out sniffing or possess the tolerance and empathy to put up with minor annoyances because they recognise that not everything is about them.

So you think everyone on a bus should be subjected to a snot gurgling sniff every 5 seconds. The sniffer should not feel obligated to reduce the intensity and regularity of their sniffs by taking some simple steps to relieve the inconvenience to others. People near by should feel completely ambivalent towards this noise and should feel guilty if they feel any annoyance.

The sniffer should not feel obligated to reduce the intensity and regularity of their sniffs by taking some simple steps to relieve the inconvenience to others.

Some people can’t do this. Excessive nose blowing/decongestants will make the problem worse. Unlike you I don’t think these people should be made go into hiding

Oh come on. I've had plenty of colds and had to travel on trains when not in a great way. Most decent people can make some sort of an effort, with empathy for those around you. Its like when you have naughty kids in a restaurant. People are much more tolerant if they can see you are making an effort, albeit in a losing cause.

I don’t think you have the slightest fucking clue what it’s like to have a chronic condition like allergic rhinitis or severe hay fever. Doesn’t stop you being a judgemental arse though.

Now you're being disingenuous.

Of course sniffing can be irritating, I described it my own post as a "minor annoynace". By all means feel irritated. But telling off a stranger, to purposefully cause them embarrassment over a health complaint is rude. Thinking that the world revolves around your sense of irritation to the extent that people who have eg hay-fever should be excluded from public transportation and the workplace is wildly self-centred.