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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can I ask if you be happy with mixed sexed changing rooms

310 replies

Hopenothate · 04/06/2019 20:11

Just that really not loos but changing rooms
Gyms swimming pools
Keep in mind many changing rooms have no cubicles or if they do they simply have curtains like this images.app.goo.gl/H6pdSPuXJiUqjs817

OP posts:
MissBehaves · 04/06/2019 22:49

I think that it should be fine but in reality would be awkward/keeping eyes peeled and specifically would have hated this as a teen.
It hugely depends who else is in there.
I would just avoid if I could.
I wouldn’t be thinking “ooh let’s go there it’s so relaxing” it would be a necessary evil.

ToffeePennie · 04/06/2019 22:51

I prefer them, especially swimming pools. Means I don’t have to deal with the toddler and 4 year old on my own - hubby can help too!

stayathomer · 04/06/2019 22:52

This is probably wrong and un pc old fashioned etc but i hate mixed sex anything! I'm paranoid about being on my own and ... I can't even explain it. I wish in swimming pools etc There could be one or two rooms in the same vein as the disabled toilets where you could just Los kj a door and get changed. I know it's irrational but that's how I feel

SmarmyMrMime · 04/06/2019 22:54

For swimming on my own, I favour a single sex changing room with communal area. I get claustrophic by the lack of space, low head room, humidity and noise from many changing room set-ups and have had panic attacks in changing villages. Being functionally nude in a female environment doesn't concern me. I found it quite refreshing in Iceland where signage was quite explicit about exactly where you were supposed to pay attention to washing yourself. Much better than a costumed spray down in a mixed sex area at a British pool.

As a mother of a dyspraxic 8 yo child of the opposite sex, I need to be able to supervise him changing appropriately, not send him off into the men's and hope I'll see him again within a few hours.

The pool I favour has single sex and a family changing village set-up. Even then, it's a small number of cubicals that I can actually set foot into so far as to be able to shut the door behind me.

Curtains are far less secure than proper doors and completely inappropriate for a mixed sex village set-up. In my teenage years, I was far less confident and found nudity in a single sex changing area difficult. If an area is mixed sex, the cubicals must be secure with a good layout to make antisocial behaviour as difficult as possible.

madeyemoodysmum · 04/06/2019 22:55

I swim in two pools. Pool one is single sex

It’s so much nicer. I can get naked in shower have proper wash without worry (the shorts are Indv anyway and then get to changing area with my towel but no need to worry if I drop it or it opens accidentally.
I feel much more comfortable and can walk about in underwear etc.

Pool two mixed. The showers are indv as well but I have to be really careful leaving and getting in my cubicle as I don’t want to drop towel. Then it’s a struggle in a tiny cubical to dry dress etc.

Having no men to worry about is a lot nicer and allows me more freedom to behave in a normal way inside of hurrying covering up etc

totorosfluffytummy · 04/06/2019 22:55

Those saying that they're happy their husband/partner can be in same changing room is all fine if there is a separate Female space, male space and a Family space.. but just consider others for example when it's just a single mum with a number of small children or a single girl or group of girls aged 10-17 who don't need patents but do need SINGLE SEX SPACES

MrsMiggins37 · 04/06/2019 22:58

I’d rather have a changing village with lockable doors than a communal single sex changing room. I don’t like being naked in front of other women any more than men

totorosfluffytummy · 04/06/2019 22:58

*parents

53rdWay · 04/06/2019 22:59

I was totally happy with lockable cubicles, until the man at my local pool who got caught sliding a mirror under the gap between cubicles. Less happy now.

OkMaybeNot · 04/06/2019 22:59

I know it's irrational

It isn't irrational. Most women feel the same and for good reason.

MissBehaves · 04/06/2019 23:01

stayathomer you’re not wrong, irrational and nor do you need to explain.

There is, for many, an intrinsic safety felt amongst others of your own sex. You don’t have to perform, you don’t have to maintain a facade, you can just crack on without the scrutiny of the male gaze.

You’re not unusual - I’m the same, as are many women.

It gets boring and tbh it’s nice and good for the soul to relax away from this entering one’s consciousness.

pickme · 04/06/2019 23:01

Ours at the local council pools have been for about 20 years. Next

fairybeagle · 04/06/2019 23:01

No

colouringinpro · 04/06/2019 23:03

Prefer separate. As a woman or girl you're at much higher risk of being peeped or even videoed by some loser. And especially if it's just curtains!

SarahTancredi · 04/06/2019 23:06

No thanks. Curtains get pulled back by accident. Doors don't always lock properly or kids fiddle with the locks.

OccasionalKite · 04/06/2019 23:07

No to mixed-sex loos, changing rooms, and everything else where women have fought and campaigned for single-sex rights, facilities and services because of our sex, because women have female bodies.

HiJenny35 · 05/06/2019 00:35

I think they should all be like it. I don't want to send a boy into men's on their own or if a daughter is with her dad into the women's on her own, they should all just be cubicles and then you go in, you get changed, you leave, dads can take daughters without issues, mums can take sons.
Some poor dad takes his daughter to our swimming and the daughter doesn't want to go into the men's or into the women's without him, she gets changed in the disabled toilet.

Also when we go as a family its much easier. I can start getting changed, then partner brings me baby to the cubical.
As for not letting a school take your child swimming, 1. It's part of the legally enforced PE curriculum you aren't actual allowed to refuse to let them go. 2. When you take girls all in one room together believe me that's not better, the nasty things I heard said about each other bodies, individual cubical would be far better. 3. What do you think would happen? Schools aren't going to allow anyone to go in a cubical with them.

Jellybabiesarebabies · 05/06/2019 00:39

No.

OhMyDarling · 05/06/2019 00:41

No.
Not for me or my daughters thank you.
We would all avoid such a place.
Even in single sex spaces I think changing rooms need to have floor to ceiling walls and a lockable door.
Everyone has a right to be comfortable and a right to be safe. We wouldn’t feel safe without this.

flashbac · 05/06/2019 00:46

No
Why? Because some men are perverts.
Do I feel guilty/irrational etc?
No
Why?
Because women deserve to feel safe and have places where they can feel comfortable and be away from the male gaze.
End.

BattenburgIsland · 05/06/2019 00:52

Yes, fine if there are cubicles with actual lockable doors. If the doors arent floor to ceiling I'd expect there to be staff around making sure no one was getting harrassed.

If there weren't cubicles then, no id not be happy with it.

Tartyflette · 05/06/2019 01:57

No. Just no. For the same reasons as everyone else - comfort, dignity, privacy and safety.
There should be separate family-only changing areas as well, though.

mouldyhousemouldylife · 05/06/2019 01:59

No way

WhoWasIt · 05/06/2019 03:50

I use them regularly and it doesn't bother me at all.

Whatareyoutalkingabout · 05/06/2019 04:18

I wouldn't care

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