AIBU drinking, weed, and how to look after my baby?

[MalmR]

Our story is a long one but in short my husband met in America in October 2017 and married 4 weeks later, fell pregnant 2 weeks later. We then moved back to the UK but I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks. Things were awful and my heart was broken but I then fell pregnant again 4 weeks after (so my little guy is extra special to me).

We argued a lot during my pregnancy and I was worried that we had made a mistake by being so brash in marrying so quick.

After our baby was born in January we continued to fight and argue to the point I called the police because I feared for my baby.

Despite all the fights I decided that we should move to America because I have no biological family in the UK and wanted my baby to have a family.

So We moved from the UK to America (he’s America, I’m British) 5 weeks ago and since arriving here he has changed for the worse. He’s been using coke, drinks beer everyday, smokes weed and wants me to have our 5 month old baby in that environment.

Now am I being unreasonable to not want our baby at other people’s houses where they smoke weed (it’s legal here) and drink excessively (in my opinion)? My baby gets so fussy from about 5pm until he falls asleep at 7ish. My husband just says I’m a grumpy b*h and that the wives of his friends know better than me and will look after my baby! 😔 it breaks my heart because I’m only trying to be a good mummy and look after him in a way I think is best!

Please give me some thoughts so I can get my head straight!

Well it's done now, no point beating yourself up about it, sorry for my unhelpful comment!

Essentially you can't change him, you can explain yourself every which way until you're blue in the face but you can't make him behave or be different.

Make decisions based on what's best for you and your son. Money is power in this situation, you need to be earning independently as the welfare system is unlikely to support you.

Jiggles101 thank you. Honestly it’s everything I needed to hear. I know it’s a mess and I know it’s not right but he had me beginning to believe that it was “normal” and I was the problem.

Honestly, name the top 10 best things about him and why you are with him.....:

jiggles makes some excellent points.

I honestly thought this was a Catastrophe spoof when I first read your scenarios.

Good luck, whatever you choose to do.

You're not going to get arrested if you simply leave him. That's not kidnapping. If you have the money I would leave and give his parents your new address.

The only thing that would be unreasonable would be if you thought he'd change. He won't. His parents know he won't, too.