Would you take offence if we were your neighbours?

[Greggers2017]

We have a Fence in our garden that has gaps between the slats, next doors children aged 5 and 6 are always at the fence whenever we are in the garden constantly trying to talk to us. What you doing? What you doing now? What you doing that for? Etc. It's ok for a short while but it gets irritating, especially when you're trying to relax and read. It also annoys my son who had high functioning autism that much that he will not go in the garden if they are there.
Would we be Unfair to put bamboo screening up along our fence to make it more private? And would you take offence if you were our neighbour?

YWNBU to do that and I wouldn't take offence at all

YANBU and their parents should be telling them to leave you alone.

YWNBU at all, and I'd not give a second thought to them taking offence. Your fence - your choice!

Oh wish we could do this! Our new neighbours have positioned their climbing next to our fence. Small gardens anyway so the boy can see the whole garden and in to our kitchen. Every time we open our back door he scrambles up to see what we’re doing and talks constantly at our (older) children.

Sod bamboo, I'd be putting up a 6ft solid fence with trellis and machine gun emplacements

Absolutely fine. No offence. It's a garden redesign. Do they know about your son? You could casually mention he finds lots of questions aggravate his autism and if they might try to explain to the little o es it would he appreciated although there's not much they can do.
I'd definitely go with the screening. Stick in a couple of cheap cordelines to make it look more like you're doing a full look.

YANBU. Double coat it just in case.

Poor kids are always outside by themselves and parents never tell them to move away. Which is what I'd do with my children.
We'd replace the fence tomorrow but unfortunately we're in rented accommodation.
I'm so glad people wouldn't take offence. Just don't want to annoy them as They've only lived there about 2 months.

I've done exactly that at my ground-floor flat for that reason. Your home is your sanctuary. (And putting bamboo up saves time worrying about how to tell them to sod off politely!)

You sound like lovely neighbours...id have installed a 6 foot fence by the end of week 1!!

I can't see why they should take offence to some bamboo screening

YADNBU. I'd do the same. They can't take of-fence at what you do to your side of the boundary!

I put up 6 foot fences because one side smoked and always stuck her nose in our business and the other side made it clear they did not want children living near them. Neither would agree to raise the 3ft fences, both claiming rights. We couldn't be bothered with the fuss so we conceded a few inches of the boundary and put up lovely 5ft and 1 foot trellis all the way round. High fences make good neighbours.

I wouldn't take offence, I'd be delighted as it would make my garden more private.

In the meantime, answer them once (they are only kids after all), and then ignore.

Nope I wouldn’t be offended. To be honest I would of done it my side a long time ago. I hate fences with gaps.

Wouldn't be offended at all. It sounds like a good idea.

Put huge 6ft fence up.

I've got kids and wouldn't be offended at all - it's your garden to enjoy as you like, if you wanted to relax in peace I wouldn't blame you lol!

If they complain, tell them you have decided to be come naturists and it is to spare your blushes! 🤣

I get on great with the couple whose house backs onto ours, and our kids get on well with their kids. I've still grown roses and clematis up the back fence to give us a bit more privacy (and because it's pretty). It's not rude, it's just giving us and our neighbours a choice about whether we want a chat or not.

Well, they’re not too bothered about their kids annoying you...🤷🏻‍♀️

They shouldn’t take offence, but if they do, I expect they’d never be great neighbours anyway.

At least you can. My very fragile friend has neighbours who have just built a terrace in their garden. The fence is now about hip heigh on their side. The gardens have a huge drop off on a steep ‘hill’.

The kids stand there doing as you’ve described. My friend is crippled by MH issues and can’t cope with the kids or the running commentary which echos around all the gardens and he feels everyone knows what he’s doing and judges him. It’s not the kids fault, but he can no longer go into his sanctuary, the garden.

Their friend and neighbour the other side of the house with the new terrace has looked into it and it appears not to break any rules (how the hell not I don’t know) and he can’t put anything up because of the sheer drop off of the gardens, on his side it would need to be about 16ft 😖

Thank your lucky stars you can do something about it and just do it

Do it.

And tell the children to turn around and go play in their own garden everytime they start bugging you. You have a right to privacy in your garden, and the parents need to step up.

I would do it regardless of the kids, you want your garden to be private.

We went one step further and double slatted the fence! You are most definitely not being unreasonable. I wouldn't be the least upset, I would actually be quite pleased.

As an aside, when the chap was doing our fence, the neighbour (bottom of the garden) went nuts at him and told him to stop because she liked to see into my garden. Yes, she was the reason we did it… as well as plant trees.

fraxion your nosy neighbour, i'm speechless, how dare you spoil your neighbours enjoyment of your garden ??

They also have a habit of throwing balls over for us to throw back. Can't do much about that but we have started waiting until the next day. 🤦🏼‍♀️