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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help - Royal Mail paternity leave query

67 replies

ostrich · 03/06/2019 15:16

Hi,

A friend has had a (lovely) baby with his wife, but the labour was five days and ended in a c-section.
Mum and Dad are both exhausted with very little sleep. With the c-section, Mum will have a limits on her mobility in addition to the exhaustion.

Does anyone have experience with Royal Mail paternity? My friend is trying to contact his union but is going round in circles at the hospital and really stressed.

He was off work for the five days before their baby was finally delivered - then their baby was born, and he thinks paternity leave 'should' start from then. Is that the case? His manager is saying that the paternity started from the first day my friend was off, which means he'll be back at work a lot sooner than he wanted. He doesn't care about the money or anything, he just needs the fortnight from the birth to be off work.

Any advice or experience gratefully received on their behalf. They are on their knees.

OP posts:

SEsofty · 04/06/2019 09:36

She’s not saying that it is, just that having a small baby is really exhausting but very normal

flowery · 04/06/2019 09:42

What did he take the 5 days as?

Original poster

ostrich · 04/06/2019 09:43

SESofty - Not everyone's situation is the same.

All - I don't have any interest in replying to any more posters making the topic about themselves.

Thanks so much to those who actually read my post and replied to what I asked regarding my friend's problem. xx

OP posts:

Hollowvictory · 04/06/2019 09:51

Of course its not a Competition, but being tired after a new baby is the norm, it's not an illness

Hollowvictory · 04/06/2019 10:02

Well your friends problem is that they haven't clarified what the 5 days prior are and they haven't sorted out their paternity end date or whether he's taking any annual leave.

Hollowvictory · 04/06/2019 10:08

If friend has baby in moses basket on a stand or similar then lifting baby from basket to changing table should be fine. She'd be doing that if she was still in hospital. (I was in for a month with c section complications so I do sympathise)

Crabbitstick · 04/06/2019 12:05

As an aside, unless there were complications, you are allowed to lift your baby after your section. Advice I was given was nothing heavier than your baby.
His wife should start to feel a lot better each day. I felt a lot more comfortable after stitches were out day 5. You can be quite immobile first few days but she should be grand on her own in a couple weeks.

Holdthedamndoor · 04/06/2019 12:19

OP again, what does he want to take the 5 days as?

Watchingthetelly · 04/06/2019 12:24

I'd like to defend Royal Mail here. They have a very efficient and easily contactable HR department. Your friend could have just rung HR if his manager is being difficult, rather than doing all of this through the union. I hope it gets sorted anyway and he enjoys his paternity leave.

SEsofty · 04/06/2019 12:46

You seem to want to paint this as a horrific situation, when it’s completely within the realms of normal.

All he needed to do is clarify with hr what the five days should be taken as , annual leave or unpaid compassionate leave.

noseoftralee · 04/06/2019 12:56

Why would she sit on a changing table?

Hollowvictory · 04/06/2019 13:02

She's scared of lifting the baby. It must be enormous!

TokyoSushi · 04/06/2019 13:09

I'm willing to bet he hasn't taken the 5 days as anything, he has just called in and said 'I can't come in, my wife is in labour' and they've just said ok, because what else can you say.

They've started his paternity leave, he maybe hasn't clarified that the baby wasn't actually born yet and hasn't really arranged to take those 5 days as anything. Now some back peddling is required to get the situation straightened out. What needs to happen is for him to say that he'd like to take those 5 days as annual leave/unpaid leave/ something else and then state what date the baby was born for the paternity leave to start.

I'm sure that there will be a reasonable solution.

SEsofty · 04/06/2019 13:10

Tokyo I think that you are right. He just needs to call hr and clarify

Holdthedamndoor · 04/06/2019 13:39

TokyoSushi there was a case like that in the DM. Headline read 'Tesco worker sacked for taking paternity leave'.

This man, in his own words, during his shift got a call his wife was in labour. He left work. Turned out she wasnt, but he didnt go back to work, because she couldnt look after the other kids. But never told work that or arranged to take unpaid parental leave or anything. She gave birth as he was due to go back and he wanted paternity leave then as well. He didnt want the first 2 weeks unpaid either or annual leave.

He also even admitted his general attendance was sketchy.

He wasnt sacked for taking paternity leave.

In ops case they have him down for paternity leave for 5 days. Rather than any other type of leave, because he didnt tell them anything other than his wife was in labour.

And since op wont answer what he wants the first 5 days as, I can only presume he was wanting extended paternity leave.

cricketmum84 · 04/06/2019 14:10

So much incorrect advice on here!!!!

Paternity leave cannot start until the baby is born. Any time taken before would need to be used as holiday/dependants/unpaid leave as per the company policy.

Statutory paternity leave is not available until the day the baby is born.

SEsofty · 04/06/2019 14:37

But it’s not clear that work even knew that it was a five day labour. Probably they assumed, wrongly that baby was born the day he called to say that he wasn’t coming in

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