I helped a friend of a friend out with a legal issue recently (can't specify but it was for a good cause). She knew that I'm on maternity leave and dealing with my baby and fitting things in when I could but kept badgering me for silly things and expecting me to be at her beck and call for emotional support even though I was only offering to get involved on the legal front. Basically we were asking a third party to sell us something they owned and she kept wanting me to chase them for updates in a way which was inappropriate (given that we were asking said third party to do us a favour by selling this item, and they said they would take the item to auction in 2 month's time and give us the details - it would have been weird to contact them every week to check that they were still going to do it), and constantly wanting reassurance from me that the third party wasn't lying. I kept telling her that I thought the third party was telling the truth but if they weren't then we had no other option anyway. She seemed a bit weird and even sent someone to spy on the third party because she thought they were lying and then sent me lots of dramatic messages, to which I could only reply that I thought they were telling the truth but if they are lying about selling the item there is nothing that we can do 🤷♀️ Basically, she got very emotionally involved and looked to me for emotional support frequently.
I revealed to her that I have PND which is quite bad some days. She still kept turning to me for an emotional hand-hold over this matter even when I made it clear that I wasn't in a fit state to do so. She seems to think we're close friends and that she can dump all her emotions on me and I will open up to her about my depression. I've made it clear that I don't want to talk and am generally busy with the baby etc. We've never met and only corresponded via phone/text etc.
The original legal matter is largely resolved now and the third party was true to their word but she has got involved into a further dispute with someone else which is related to the same matter! I feel that this isn't what I signed up for but I have helped her out briefly with this new issue, but again tried to make it clear that I don't want to get too involved and don't want to be her shoulder to cry on.
I guess I don't mind if she has a further legal query but she keeps texting me asking me how I am. I don't really want to explain how my mental health is to her and tbh I don't even like being asked. I can't quite articulate why although I guess it sort of makes me think about the days when I have been really low and try and gauge how today compares to that, which involves me thinking about my worst days and the ways I am still struggling.
I've tried not answering but then she bombards me with messages in every way she can (text, email, phone etc.), if I fob her off with "fine" she'll think it's the green light to ask me to emotionally support her on this new matter, I've tried "not great but been worse" and then there are still lots of follow ups where she wants to talk about how I am and how she is. I feel like I've got my DH to turn to for support with my PND and don't need this stranger who I've never met and definitely don't want to be burdened with her worries - she's got a DH too who should he the one to support her or she should ask a friend I guess.
How can I politely ask her to stop? I kind of want to say if she sends me a legal query about this new issue then I'll try to deal with it when I can on a good day, but I don't want to talk about my mental health. I have kind of said all this before though but maybe I need to be firmer. Does anyone have a good explanation of why it's not good to keep asking people with MH issues how they are at least?
Sorry for the essay 