Breastfeeding nonsense

[russley]

AIBU in thinking that there's a load of rubbish out there regarding breastfeeding?

I read on a (respectable) site today that my child at 7 months SHOULD only be feeding 3 times a day. He feeds 8/9 times at least and always has been this way since birth. Never more than a 5/10 minute feed. Then I read that at 7 months, I shouldn't be experiencing any sore nipples as that's for the early days (my nipples are bloody painful and have been for the past 2 weeks. I could cry).

It's the same with baby milestones. The language used implies that if our babies are doing anything different, it's not right.

Is it really so odd that my baby feeds so much? I'm paranoid now!

I'd be concerned if nipples are still sore after 7 months. After a few weeks they should be used to it. Can you get your latch checked? Also lansinoh cream in the purple tube is what you need for the nipples.

No it's not odd. My 10month old has fed 7 times today. He is teething, feeding for comfort...usually it's only around 3 times. All kids are different.

@OwlinaTree it's because DS is teething and has clamped down a good few times.
They're bruised as opposed to cracked. It's bloody sore.

It is not odd at all that your baby is feeding as often as you describe. Each baby is different and some may have fewer bit longer feeds instead.

As regards nipple pain it is worth asking your GP or calling La Leche for some advice in case a change of position or other factor can help reduce it.

It sounds like you are doing a tremendous job in feeding your little one. Well done!

Ever since I've had my son I just doubt everything I do

My baby is 20 months and easily feeds 10+ times a day. I never offer, that's him actively asking. 😒 He used to feed upwards of 30 times in a 24 hour period.

He's on the 50th for weight and height, normal development. 🤷

Oh ok. That's slightly misleading then as the article would be referring to then being sore through feeding not biting.

Don't be paranoid your baby is totally normal. I don't know where all this should do crap comes from.
Babies don't just bf for hunger they feed for thirst, comfort, pain relief, boredom, milk has an anti inflammatory which helps for teething, it produces antibodies so baby will feed more when exposed to a bug.
It's bloody amazing stuff and you should feed baby as much as you and baby like!!
Food before one is just for fun remember so all babies nutrients needs to come from milk

Dd is 1 and still feeds three ish time a day and a couple times a night.
When in doubt whip it out!!!!!

DS is 18months and I get sore nipples every time he cuts a new tooth because his latch changes. I also got really sore nipples when he first started weaning and i think it was because he would still have food in his mouth when he asked for milk. Now he drinks water after his meals it's less of a problem.

In my experience every breastfeeding relationship is unique and changes over time. Anyone saying you "should" be doing anything is talking nonsense.

Just seen your update.

Don't know if it helps, bit sharing in case it does.

When my son started clamping down or biting during a feed each time he did so I firmly said No (tried not to call out in pain), then stopped the feed. After a pause we would resume. Eventually he seemed to understand and bite less.

@MrsNai I'm definitely going to try that. Thank you. His jaw is strong 😥

So it's normal for my son to spend a lot of time feeding (including overnight?)? Nobody tells you these things. I've been winging it for 7 months and he's put on weight perfectly so must be doing something right!

I think there is a lot of information about breastfeeding (what you can eat or drink, how often is normal etc) especially in older babies and toddlers. Adults eating and drinking patterns are completely different (some graze some only two main meals a day) so babies are going to be different as well.

The advice that it shouldn't generally hurt by now is sound though as soreness is often a sign of latching issues like PP have said...saying that it's totally normal for a baby to have a biting phase and it would be weird if this didn't hurt!

I think it's the way people categorise too, I'd say DS BF 4 times a day, but that's not strictly true. He has 4 proper feeds a day, if he's overly tired, a little under the weather, fancies a quick snack he'll bf. I think I don't really count them as it's usually just for 5/10 minutes and it doesn't feel like he is taking much, it's more for comfort.

Im still feeding DS2 at 15 months and sometimes its 3-4 times a day!!

My 8 month old feeds sometimes a lot and sometimes not. I just had a bath with him and he took the opportunity twice to feed 😂 and he hasn't had any milk all day today which is unusual.

He will also feed 4/5/6 times a night if I let him...that's what they do. It's just comfort a lot of the time but I'm his mum and I'm there to comfort him so don't sweat it!

If you're happy just carry on! If you're not happy you needn't.

There is so much information about breastfeeding floating about that we would be contradicting ourselves if we followed it all!
As a Mum that has fed 2 children into toddlerhood, my advice for you re breastfeeding is do what you want & how you want, until it stops working for you both. Bugger all this should feed X amount in one day and no need for overnight feeds after Y age crap.
Id loved to know who they studied to get those answers, my children were completely different, as was every day with them!
I just followed the mantra as per PP, 'when in doubt, whip them out' and it worked for all of us.

Breastfeeding is so much more than nutrition and there a number of reasons a child will feed for. Teething pain being one of them!
Bruised nipples are not nice and I can thoroughly recommend multi mam patches-sorry can't remember the company name. They sell them in boots and online & on Amazon too.
I left them on all day and oh how they were so soothing-i hope they help you too.

Just keep on feeding on demand and you’ll be fine.
Waking to feed through the night is totally normal to 2yrs plus.
Just go with it and your baby will thrive.

You can’t overfeed a breastfed baby. They will simply stop and delatch when they’ve had enough. At times they’ll cluster feed and other times they’ll seem to hardly be taking enough but as long as you’ve got plenty of wet nappies and they’re gaining weight, they’re doing fine.

It's completely normal and fine. Unfortunately to get any decent info about breastfeeding you need to look at attachment parenting orientated sources, which is a bit unhelpful if that isn't your preferred method of parenting. I've found anything that's not attachment parenty has info which ostensibly applies to breastfeeding but comes from bottle feeding as a starting point and while you can breastfeed in a style that mimics bottle feeding, it takes a certain amount of effort to do so and there aren't the same practical reasons to do it so most people don't bother. Which means you're left with a breastfeeding reality which looks quite different to what most books and websites etc will assume.

I wouldn't be breastfeeding 8 or 9 times a day at that age, nor would I be feeding 2+ times overnight. Do I think there is anything wrong with it? Absolutely not. If someone else is happy to do so, then how can it be wrong?
People get way too caught up in what others do or say. Do what works for you until it doesn't anymore.

bertiebotts. That’s not true. I’m a trained volunteer breastfeeding supporter and previously volunteered with the Breastfeeding Network. They, along with La Leche League are fab for breastfeeding support in a non biased, non judgemental way.

I agree verbena. I didn't feel the sites I looked at or people I spoke to had that agenda. I'm sorry that was your experience Bertie.

La Leche League are brilliant, but they openly promote an attachment parenting ethos. It's not about judgement, it's just about the type of advice you get from there. Breastfeeding network seems much more neutral, which is good. They didn't have any support groups in my area when DS1 was little.

I tend to be AP myself so it isn't a problem from my end but I do think it can strengthen this association that breastfeeding is some "weird, hippyish" thing to especially if you breastfeed past 12 months, feed on demand past 3/4 months, feed more breast milk than solids past 8/9 months, feed 4+ times a day past 6 months, feed at night (especially more than once) etc.

I've never come across any source of parenting advice which is not AP geared which has breastfeeding-friendly information. I'm not talking about breastfeeding specific advice per se, but for example advice about toddler behaviour, or baby health, mealtimes, or sleep - it's either AP or it has this odd, unhelpful BF info or simply omits breastfeeding entirely even when it would be relevant. This seems to suggest that breastfeeding is only compatible with attachment parenting which I just don't think is the case.

My DS is 7 months and I have no idea how often he feeds although it tends to be 1-2 at night. Definitely at least 5 times during the day! He is between 75th and 91st centiles but tall. I honestly think rules on this are rubbish. If they want a feed, for whatever reason, I can't leave him to cry.