Breastfeeding nonsense

[russley]

AIBU in thinking that there's a load of rubbish out there regarding breastfeeding?

I read on a (respectable) site today that my child at 7 months SHOULD only be feeding 3 times a day. He feeds 8/9 times at least and always has been this way since birth. Never more than a 5/10 minute feed. Then I read that at 7 months, I shouldn't be experiencing any sore nipples as that's for the early days (my nipples are bloody painful and have been for the past 2 weeks. I could cry).

It's the same with baby milestones. The language used implies that if our babies are doing anything different, it's not right.

Is it really so odd that my baby feeds so much? I'm paranoid now!

At 7 months my youngest wasn't even on any solids - only feeding him 3 times a day would have been neglect!

What site was it?

My toddler is almost 2, I've had to wean him due to fertility treatment - up until this weekend he was feeding 6-7 times a day when with me, 3 times when I'm working and he's at nursery all day. I don't know anyone else feeding a toddler so I don't know what's normal, but when DS was 7 months old he was definitely feeding way more than that!

I’m approaching 18 months with mine and he will still feed like a newborn.
And it is NOT a respectable site if they suggest 3 feeds a day for a baby, and more than that is not normal.
NHS guidelines say breastfeeding till 2 years old is normal.
I get sore nipples if my little one bites me, but yes they are right in the sense you shouldn’t have sore nipples after the first 6 weeks for no reason, that should require a GP trip.
I’ve been saying for 6 months I’m going to wean him - well it’s not happened and I don’t think it will anytime soon. I would love to have my body back

Mine were all sleeping through 7pm-5am by 7 months but they were still on 7+ feeds throughout the day - early morning, breakfast, morning "coffee", lunch, afternoon "tea", dinner, supper. None of them properly started to master solids, from a nutritional pov, before 12m.

Do what works for you but my concern with a lot of the comments is that there is an implication that the only way to BF successfully, even for older babies is as often and as long as requested by the baby. This is not practical for a lot of people, especially if they have other DC or work commitments. Better to find a compromise that works for baby and Mum and rest of family than to give up.

For biting if you put your pinky in the corner of the babies mouth it breaks the latch. Do it every time they bite until they stop.

Unfortunately to get any decent info about breastfeeding you need to look at attachment parenting orientated sources, which is a bit unhelpful if that isn't your preferred method of parenting

I think I understand what you’re trying to say but perhaps you think that’s “decent” breastfeeding information because you follow AP principles to begin with?

I don’t/didn’t practice attachment parenting and I find the breastfeeding information on other sites much more helpful to my parenting style. I get irritated when AP sources say (for example) that you should eternally feed on demand etc. as if that’s the only way to breastfeed properly. To me that’s not “decent” information at all!

It’s all garbage. Don’t read it and don’t repeat it.

Keep feeding responsively. Mine fed MUCH more than 3x per day at 7 months. Of course she did. She would have starved otherwise. They don’t eat enough solids to properly replace milk until they are order.

Nipples can hurt for loads of different reasons. The first feed weeks is just general wear and tear in an area that was never used before (people who say it only hurts if the latch is wrong are talking bollocks).

I’m breastfeeding my 2 year old and my nipples are extremely painful every month when I’m ovulating.

I don’t think your nipples should be sore. My DS is also 7 months old and breastfeeding, I haven’t had sore nipples since the first couple of weeks. Whack some lansinoh cream on there.

That aside, the rest is rubbish. My DS nurses up to 12 times a day and barely eats any solids yet (his choice and I’m not forcing it).

I have 4 children all grown now with children of their own. All were bottle fed. I simply can’t comprehend feeding 10/20 times a day and still feeding at night. We started on solids much earlier then of course.
When do you have time to do any thing else!
What about any other children you have.
You all deserve medals I could not have done it.

Well yes. Exactly. I don't think feeding on demand is strictly necessary for successful breastfeeding, especially not past the first few weeks when you're establishing supply, when it does have a clear benefit. (But still might not be necessary if you have a baby who feeds well anyway - and sometimes it's necessary to feed more than a baby demands when they are very young.) I prefer to feed on demand myself but I don't think it's some kind of superior way, it's just what sort of naturally occurs if you don't make any effort to change it (which is fine).

By "decent info" I mean things like information about supply and demand and how various practices (routine, demand, work, expressing, block feeding, switch feeding, etc) are likely to affect this, what's normal/what to expect (normal in terms of it's nothing you've "done wrong" to cause it, not necessarily it's just going to be like that and there's nothing you can do to change it, or even this is a good thing because XYZ), a basic understanding that you can't measure breastfeeding like you can bottle feeding, e.g. minutes are not somehow directly comparable to ml or oz and are at best irrelevant, at worst harmful. Understanding of how expressing works without myths such as expressing is a measure of production amount or the idea that expressing "takes" the milk from the baby, up to date info about foremilk and hindmilk (which tends to go back to timing), things like that, as well as information on problems like tongue tie, low supply, oversupply, thrush, mastitis, etc and stages/alternatives like starting solids or giving other drinks.

Oops that was in response to Someone9

I know one mum locally whose baby only had 4 feeds per day from 5 months, he's always been super chunky. Every other breastfeeding mum was doing at least 10 feeds per day at 7 months. Mine's dropped significantly since turning 1 and rarely has more than 8 feeds per day now. He's always been great with solids, but focused on his 3 meals and preferring boob for snacks. I'm grateful when he's ill that the one thing he never gives up on is breastmilk.

You don't need to put up with biting, it's so painful in following feeds that you can't bear to surely. Say "ow" loudly and take her off every time, tell her no, give teething liquid / gel / granules and then swap boobs to break the habit. Lansinoh cream helped me with bruising as well as teeth marks from before I got quick enough at dealing with him. Mine now does a little "test" nip holding my nipple lightly in his teeth to be told no, he knows he mustn't bite but does it to show he wants anbesol liquid, cheeky scamp; at least he isn't properly biting any more. Someone mentioned on a thread the other day about how the babies get a little glint in their eye when they're about to bite, it's very true, watch closely and be firm!

On the point of your thread, I've had health visitors very keen to tell me that I only need to feed him twice per day, e.g. morning and evening. I think to be honest that there has been so little breastfeeding in the past in the country that a lot of them don't really understand how it works. Nod, smile, feed on demand. 98th centile here, so he's hardly struggling to grow with breastmilk.

Surely that would depend on the amount of solids you are feeding your DC, and whether he is drinking enough water. Are you sure your baby is actually feeding OP as opposed to using you as a dummy,hence the sore nipples? Either way I don't think there is a one size fits all method when it comes to baby rearing, and as long as he's thriving and you're all happy that's all that matters.

Ha no it’s not odd. My 19 month old can have that many feeds some days (and nights!) if we are together all day.

I agree there is a lack of info. Breastfeeding is unlike bottle feeding in that way - you can just feed every few hours! It’s on demand and at 7 months it is still a very important part of your baby’s diet.

babies get a little glint in their eye when they're about to bite

^ this!! I used to call it DS's 'bitey face'

I'm inclined to agree about the best info being from AP type sources which may not be great if AP isn't your thing.

I also think most of the info on breastfeeding is slanted towards young babies, not totally unreasonable as this is the hard bit, but it can leave people breastfeeding older babies and toddlers a bit clueless.

I think there's massive variation and it also depends on the mothers natural breast storage capacity. I got told once by a very AP promoting lady that bf babies "never" take more than 3oz in one go & breasts simply can't make more than that for one feed . I know from pumping that I can get way more. I naturally have a reasonably high storage capacity. This may have contributed to DS feeding relatively less frequently (no night feeds after about 4 months, prob 4 or 5 feeds a day max from 6m). I agree with some comments on here that EBF is often associated with AP but you can EBF successfully and happily without going down the AP route if that's what works for you. By about 4 months we fed on more of a routine rather than on demand as that suited us better, DS also happily ate 3 solid meals a day from about 7 months. there is no normal, there is just what works for each mum & baby imho.