Life in the uk these days?

[Sundancer77]

Hi all,

I live abroad and we’re considering possibly coming ‘Home’ within the next couple of years. Just being nosey really and wondering what your general weekends are like? What do you do etc? How is the uk to live these days and has anyone returned back there after being abroad?

We are moving back to Cornwall from Belgium in October, as dh is retiring for the second time. Weekends will consist of him disappearing onto Dartmoor to pursue his hobby, and I will potter about at home, or meet my Mum for a coffee...go to the market in Tavistock, or just curl up and read the papers if I don't want or need to go out.

We will also meet up with friends who will be moving back as well from NZ and other foreign parts, and pick up where we left off in regards to the house and getting it fully sorted.

Why north-east Bellini? . Sorry for the slight derail op.

We’re considering coming back as where we are we love, but it’s very expensive (most things considerably more expensive than the uk) living on wages here, which are very much lower than the uk 🤷‍♀️
To live here on wages we would receive in the uk would be a dream!
Brexit hasn’t really played a decision in that as it wouldn’t be likely to affect us living here as we’re citizens etc. The influence of Brexit on the uk does bother me though as higher crime and so on.
It would also be lovely to be near family and old friends (having a baby has made these feelings stronger)
My main fear was being sat in on a dark, cold, rainy weekend watching tv, thinking ‘What have we done?’ But from the comments here, I don’t think that would be the case.

Why not consider somewhere like Bristol? More job opportunities for you both but close enough for days out at the coast and visiting family.

Just being nosey really and wondering what your general weekends are like? What do you do etc?

Strange question as my interests wont reflect yours, so what I do of a weekend is irrelevant.

Presumably like every other parent in the land with offspring, I/we work, and ferry to/from extra curricula lessons, or if older, wonder if they are coming home and how many days washing they are going to magic up [🤷‍♀️]; we clean our house, we go shopping, we go out with our friends.

Some MNers will go wife swapping, some with husbands with an outing hobby (nah, we dunno either🤷‍♀️), some will have shit loads of disposable income, and some will be really watching the pennies.

And it depends where you are thinking of relocating to. After a week in the deepest rural Welsh borders, you'd think you did step back into a 1970's 'sit com' with the language and references to 'ethnics' …. where as London is much more cosmopolitan. Actually all it did was reinforce anything outside a large city is going to be pretty horrendous with no transport, no jobs, social isolation, all avenues limited unless you are retired. And don't say it isn't because DHs large array of cousins are all trapped in similar villages, with no bus services into a town, with no shops in a three mile walking distance , not got their own transport, therefore they are reduced to working in local pubs, which is way underneath their capabilities because of the vicious circle with travel (no buses/trains, cant drive, cant get a job in a town, cant move to a bigger town, no money because they have no job). It really opened my eyes on the 'chocolate box' idyllic' no wonder substance and alcohol abuse is so high in rural areas, I'd imagine being stoned is the only way to deal with such a dead end.

I used to spend my weekends looking after two horses, walking the dog , ferrying dd yo netball matches and horse shows, cooking, looking after my ageing dad.

Now I’m older and more crippled I walk the dog, cook, look at my wildlife pond and I’m currently watching the rugby and drinking Aperol. In North West Manchester.

We've got two kids aged three and one. We went out for breakfast with some friends yesterday to a Palestinian cafe. Then I and ds went to a friend's party in the afternoon. This morning we went to church, then dd and dh went to the park for a playdate with a couple of dd's friends, and I stayed at home with Ds and did some housework.

UnicornBrexit There are options between "large city" and "villages with no bus services into a town, with no shops in a three mile walking distance". Small city, large town, small city, village with shops and a bus service (or even train service) to name a few.

@DangermousesSidekick - I was born there but we moved when I was a baby and parents regretted it very much. A sibling had their children up there and had to move for work. Again, massive regret.
I go up there on holidays now and then. Great air, great light, lovely people. Has its downsides like everywhere else.
I'm old and have travelled abroad a lot. Still my first choice location if I could.
Whereabouts- anywhere N York coast upwards.

Husband is a farmer so he works every Saturday . I don’t like being out on Saturdays and use it to catch up on housework and plod around in the garden . I’ll sometimes take the kids out to a local park or meet friends at their house or they come here . All their activities are on during the week as I refuse to be tied to strict timetabling at weekends . Sundays are spent visiting family or sometimes going out for lunch . Sometimes we don’t do very much as we’re homebirds at heart . I imagine everyone’s weekend will vary depending on where they live , how much disposable cash they have , their interests etc . Good luck with your move .

Consider the Isle of Wight!

If we do return, it has to definitely either be our hometown (In Greater Manchester/Cheshire) or Cornwall v close to my family, or there’s really not much point in coming back, so it’s between those two places really.

I think you would have to consider how you would manage with the much earlier darkness in December/January in the UK, especially in the north of England. That would suggest Cornwall as the better of the two options you suggest.

Sadly the number of pubs outside big towns and cities is diminishing, as they are finding it difficult to make ends meet, as business rates, the rise of Netflix and the consolidation of breweries has not helped.

Hi OP

I came back last year with my new 6 month old son from living abroad for years in two different countries on the other side of the world.

On the weekends we relax, see family, go to the playground, out for walks, into town, shopping, see friends.

I have no regrets so far about coming home, my mental health has vastly improved.

All the best

Definitely worried about the darker evenings and the colder weather as so used to being outdoors 😬
@ReturnofSaturn can I be nosey and ask why it’s had an impact on your mental health? How long were you away for and have you found it easy to adapt back to the uk?

Hi OP

I was depressed for a while and I think it stemmed from homesickness. Then when I had the baby it completely deteriorated quickly and I had a shocking depressive episode.
I was depressed while pregnant and I remember crying and begging my husband for us to move back to UK on more than one occasion.

I feel so much better, slotted back in with my old friends, made new mum friends, can see my family whenever I want, it's made a world of difference to me.

Ahh, that’s great @ReturnofSaturn 💜 It definitely brings it home to you more how important it is to be around loved ones with a child/children. How long were you living out of the uk for? On a practical level, was it easy enough to come back (We’d have yo obviously have jobs to come back to, open new bank accounts, place to live etc) with a baby and dog in tow, it often feels overwhelming to think about 🙈

Hi OP

I was only away for about 4 and a half years.

When I left the UK for Canada however I never meant to leave 'for good' I left just to travel for a bit etc thinking I would only be gone a year or so....but I met my partner and after 2 and a half years in Canada we went to Australia for 2 years - he's Australian.

To be honest, it didn't take that much organising. We had already moved out of our rental house before we made the decision to come to UK, as we had to move in with his parents after I had the baby to help as I had had a breakdown with the PND.

We then just sold whatever furniture that was worth anything.

Yes we just opened up a bank account when we got back, you have to make an appointment to do that, so we just made sure we had money in cash. Moved in with my parents for a couple of months, until husband got a job and then we moved into our own place.

Yes it is daunting. But honestly the hardest but is making the decision!

Once you've made the decision you just get on with organising things and it's honestly easier than you would think.

Definitely move nearer to your family. I see many friends here from other countries who I think really miss out on being near extended family and, even with kids and friends, can feel lonely. This weekend we walked to our nearby busy area, had a lovely dinner outside in the sun with DD. Saturday morning we went to local historic house to meet DH's sister for brunch which we do most weeks, and today we went to one of DH's cousins for lunch. Next weekend I'm going away with my sister to meet up with a cousin and his wife for 2 nights away. This sounds like family OD, and our time isn't always spent with family but we see someone from either family at least once a week. This week I've got Book Club, we're both going to an opening party at a local restaurant and DH is going to a wine tasting with a mate.

I live in North Wales with my daughter and our dog. This weekend we spent Saturday with my niece too. We walked the dog in the morning, went to a local small town to the park and for a wander by the river, chips and an ice cream in the afternoon. This was followed by another dog walk and some craft.

Today there was a dog walk, took DD swimming then popped in garden centre. Came home, did some gardening then went to my parents for Sunday dinner.

Pretty normal weekend for me. I do live in beautiful village surrounded by countryside and family though!

Wow, thanks all, I’m actually really pleasantly surprised as I really expected a sort of ‘You live abroad in the sun etc, why would you want to come back here and so on’
It sounds like the majority really enjoy living in the uk, even at a time when things are a bit 🤪
Really interesting to hear from people who have moved back from abroad, are there any people who have and now regret it?

I'm from greater Manchester, now live in Devon with a toddler and it's a totally different lifestyle. We spend our weekends on the beach, the moors, exploring woods, going to forest school. I used to go to 5+ festivals a year all over uk, now do less! But there's still lots of music events, festivals etc here in the SW and fun things like family raves and a goblin and fairy festival.

Spring/summer are definitely more sociable, lots of parties out in fields etc and village fetes. Slows down in winter but I'm an introvert so really like being all cosy and homely for a few weeks anyway.

There's loads of stuff for kids to do here,,dd is very happy.

I'm going to go against the grain and say generally speaking living in the U.K. is shit and about to get a whole lot worse! I'm on a reasonable salary but food, fuel, everything is so expensive I can afford to live and that it, there's no money for holiday and luxuries.

I live in a great city, (mentioned up thread as an option for you) but I can't wait til I can leave this drizzly grey, xenophobic, Tory run shit hole of a country, which I'm planning to do when the kids move out.

@Jiggles101 - If you don't have enough money to pay for basics then life will be a struggle and less enjoyable. Is that surprising? Your life wouldn't be better if you didn't earn enough to get by but lived in another country, it would still be difficult. I sympathise that you're having a hard time, but your issue is that you don't earn enough, not that there's nothing good to do at the weekend.