I should of known...

[UnaCorda]

Yes, the title is deliberate - sorry to have been clickbaity.

Expecting to be flamed although am trying not to be offensive, but this has been bugging me. Can anyone suggest why certain otherwise apparently well-educated people make up their own grammar rules?

I'm thinking of things (all of which I've seen "committed" by numerous people) such as deciding "thank you" should be hyphenated, or separating sentences or clauses with ellipses rather than a comma/semicolon/full stop, or leaving a space before exclamation and question marks, etc. (there are probably others).

I'm not having a pop at anyone who is dyslexic, or didn't have access to a decent education or who is writing in a very relaxed way because the context is informal. More trying to understand why some people seem to follow their own special set of grammar and punctuation rules which are consistent, but wrong.

I see punctuation as a way of getting across the inflections that you can hear in speech, so I don't know why you would want to fuck about with that and make your meaning unclear in the process.

(And apologies that this isn't in Pedants' Corner, but there's hardly any traffic there.)

Language is phonetic, so if you understand what is meant, then you've communicated adequately, sufficiently and dare I say it, at the comprehension level of your audience.

Because rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men...

I love a ; they’re very underused and unappreciated.

I think some people just don't care...I know it's frustrating when you care so much but they just don't.

A child at school was seriously taken aback when I wrote a lot instead of alot the other day and tried to correct me. He asked if I was sure I’d written it correctly. 🤪

Well for one thing language is constantly evolving, so I don’t begrudge anyone for not strictly adhering to traditional rules.
Also the most simple explanation is people don’t know it’s grammatically wrong. Or maybe they do, but it’s not particularly important to them.

At the end of the day, does it really matter?

Language is phonetic, so if you understand what is meant, then you've communicated adequately, sufficiently and dare I say it, at the comprehension level of your audience.

But the bare minimum of just about conveying what you mean isn't really adequate in a work context (where I've seen examples of all the things I mentioned). I'm not (only) talking about posts on a forum where what you've said is true.

I love a ; they’re very underused and unappreciated.

I agree!

Isn't there a well-known author who is known for never using them? Martin Amis? Kingsley Amis? Ian McEwan? (None of the above??)

I think we are more aware of people's grammar / spelling foibles these days because of social media. In the old days, you could be blissfully aware that so many people thought 'should have' was written 'should of'.

At the end of the day, does it really matter?

Does anything really matter?!

I suppose it depends how much you value clarity of language - which, in some cases, goes hand in hand with clarity of thought.

I agree with you UnaCords, it drives me potty.
'Bored 'of too instead of 'bored with'.

UnaCorda I think my issue is that people who are quick to be sniffy about other people’s spelling/grammar tend to bask in the superiority of it, whether that’s the intention or not - it does create a bit of a snobby impression of them.
Most of the time the other person might not have the same grasp of the written word so it just feels a bit condescending to gleefully point out they are wrong.

Here in the South West I see otherwise articulate people saying and typing 'led' - as in, 'I led on the sofa because I felt ill' and it baffles me. Obviously they are mispronouncing/ misspelling 'laid', but even then it should be 'lay'! I don't know why nobody around them corrects them. (Maybe for the same reason I don't... because they don't want to be rude?!)

I agree with you UnaCords, it drives me potty.

Oh, there are many, many others that drive me potty: alot, overuse of "myself", times by, pack lunch, "everyday" when it should be "every day", text as a past tense verb, brung/brang, I done, I shrunk... But most of the time those errors are down to not knowing or understanding rather than taking it upon oneself to rewrite the rules.

or separating sentences or clauses with ellipses rather than a comma/semicolon/full stop. Or beginning a clause with a capital and ending it with a full stop, as if it were a sentence. As I've just done, but I see it in "official" writing, including management plans and other stuff designed to impress, and it irritates me.

@UnaCorda

I get your drift, like most I tend to type as I speak. Of course I wouldn't write a professional letter or document using the same.

Going back to your point in your OP More trying to understand why some people seem to follow their own special set of grammar and punctuation rules which are consistent, but wrong. - if we didn't have this we would all be speaking with RP, there would be no regional dialects and word variances.

...if we didn't have this we would all be speaking with RP, there would be no regional dialects and word variances.

True, but none of the examples I mentioned are to do with dialect or accent - in fact none of them are even things that would be pronounced (a hyphen, spaces before question/exclamation mark, overuse of ellipses) so I don't see that they can be related to differing patterns of regional speech.

I agree with you OP. I find it particularly annoying when someone of my age (so presumably similarly educated) persistently gets it wrong. I am a stickler for rules though, so in my mind I think of it as being deliberately rebellious!

I’m a proof reader of technical documents and find the inconsistencies infuriating; capitalise every word or just the first, list using number bracket or number full stop, underline, bold, italics- make your mind up and stick to it!!!

I try not to be an arsehole about it but the 'should of/should have' thing really winds me up. Its not poor spelling or grammar. You are speaking the wrong words entirely! It makes no fucking sense!

i can't be bothered with the grammar or capitals due to the informal aspect. lazy moo

The writing skills of my undergraduates were absolutely shocking to me when I started lecturing. I'm used to it now. We do have a very broad student body, from all sorts of educational backgrounds, but I've concluded that standards of grammatical education generally must be declining. "Could of" is common. Sentences that last entire paragraphs. Paragraphs that are one and a half pages long. Commas instead of full stops. Very common to see referencing that looks like this: "Bla bla bla. ( Name date ) ." No capital letters for names, so "ministry of justice" for example. No full stops at the end of paragraphs. Sometimes the presentation is so poor that it utterly obscures the content.

Funnily enough my dyslexic students tend to write beautifully, probably because they're assisted by Student Support with proofreading and so on. It drives me mad though that all students can access this service but those without a specific learning need don't bother, then ignore the feedback on their essays and continue turning in this rubbish month after month!

No. You have known.

Can someone explain the laid/ lay thing and why?

I laid on the couch all day
I lay on the couch all day

The bored one too? Google says bored of is now in the dictionary but a lot of people just don't like it.

I’m surprised how many people think should of / would of / could of are correct. I know it’s phonetic, but were they not corrected at school?

Perhaps schooling in the 90s/00s was more relaxed about grammar and that’s why it’s more widespread?

How difficult is it to pay attention in grammar class?