To be amazed by how entitled some people can be!

[TheJoxter]

I’m on a few Facebook parenting pages, today on one a mother was complaining that her MIL, who currently pays for all her son’s nappies, has said she won’t pay for any more if they have a second child. Cue loads of comments about how horrible and controlling the MIL is for not doing this for them.

Maybe I’m missing something but I certainly wouldn’t expect my MIL to pay for any nappies for any of my children, let alone all my nappies for multiple children!

Those nappies will come at a price long term. Over involved.

Does she mean she would stop buying for #1 if they have #2? It's an odd concept, but obviously what works for them. I can understand finding it odd if she wanted to do for one and not another.

I’m lucky because my MiL and my own mum and dad are amazing. They are always treating me and DH and our DDs. The difference is that we in no way expect to be treated but also, I love to treat them when I can, even if it’s only to a coffee and cake. Entitled people make me cringe.

@SpeckofStardust
@missminagrindley

I mean they might be able to afford to take it easier if they didn’t spend so much on “stuff”

I understand Americans don’t have the NHS or paid leave.

I used to buy nappies & formula for my dgd & a lot of her clothes (still do with the clothes) because I knew my dd & her Dh were sometimes struggling with all the extra costs, it never came at a price I love my dd & simply wanted to help as I am lucky enough to be able too, they never expected it & were always very appreciative big difference though if coming from a place of entitlement.

It's not a present to the child, it's a completely unnecessary present to the parents.

It's a bit rich in general EXPECTING GPs to provide a permanent unpaid (or even paid - I bet it's not at a commercial rate) baby care service, although many do so willingly.

Free nappy provision is the same thing. It's one of those things that you start with good intentions, but becomes hard to stop.

*Hadenoughofitall441

I would have never exp3cted my mum to buy anything like that... she buys the odd clothes hear or there and both mine get treated the same.*
There are many threads here on MN where women get highly insulted if their child's father's mother dares to buy any clothes for their grandchild. Different rules for the child's maternal grandparents of course.

Dd is now 8 but from when she was born until she was toilet trained we never had to buy a nappy. I don't even know how it happened, PIL just turned up with tons of them and continued to buy them ( as well as other things which we were always grateful for )

My mum's "thing" was to buy my DC's prams. It was a rite of passage for her, she got so excited about it both times.

My sibling is about to become a parent for the first time and she asked straight away if she could buy them their pram.

It isn't expected and my sibling wouldn't have given it a moments notice had our mum not offered.

When I had my eldest, baby showers weren't a thing. However I had aunt's and cousins turning up with bags of baby stuff - so much so that I didn't have to buy a single item of clothing for her for her first year. They all helped out so much. A decade later, with my 2nd, the gifts were smaller and fewer. I didn't complain though, I was just pleased people took their time to think of us, didn't sit there comparing with what my eldest got.

I severely dislike people's attitudes sometimes.

I don’t think the MIL is doing anything wrong.

All the moaners on the group, clearly need a focus or a hobby.

I mean they might be able to afford to take it easier if they didn’t spend so much on “stuff”

You obviously have zero idea of how hard the culture is there. Spending on 'stuff' would make FA difference to having to go back to work to keep your health insurance and JOB that pays your bills. Their insurance is usually linked to their job. No job = no health insurance. Job doesn't allow you that much leave. So you have to go back to work. You're seeing things on a bloody forum and making huge generalisations . Seems to be very acceptable on MN to slag off Americans (I'm not one, my sister lives there, but I find it really disgusting because if you substituted that nationality out with other ones you see how shit it is).

@missminagrindlay

So it’s entirely acceptable for you to acknowledge the differences in culture, but not me, because you don’t agree with what I’ve said...

I too have family in America. Doesn’t make me a self proclaimed expert. It was just an observation I made that I’m sharing.

Yes yes, I understand re their healthcare. Takes two to make a baby and some baby daddy’s can add their children and DP’s to their own policy. There are SAHM’s in America too!

Yes, there are SAHP's everywhere. So? You seem bent on making huge negative judgements based on a forum so crack on, I'm sure people do the same about British people being on MN.

So it’s possible their healthcare isn’t dependant on their job in every instance.

“They were mostly American (I’m sure not all Americans are like this).”

Note mostly which means not all and I'm sure not all Americans are like this ie I’m acknowledging that this is not necessarily typical of all Americans.

A bit far fetched to describe my judgements as huge when they are along exactly the same lines as this thread hence why I included them.

But you crack on being cranky

Rather be erm, cranky that negative and nasty and make assumptions about people in other country I don't live in and don't know what their circumstances are .

But you know their circumstances, despite not living there because your sister lives there...?

I don't make negative judgements about people who live in other countries, Fox, but hey, you do and then also merail other people's threads . . .

I think the derailing was a joint effort. Takes two to tango...

I can see you’re a ray of sunshine and make no negative judgements and stand firmly corrected

I had no idea this was a thing either!

That said my parents kindly bought the pram for our first and exhs parents gave us a sum of money that was v kind. But we didn't expect and certainly not the same again for dc2!

How peculiar. Do you tell them the baby’s nappy size and preferred brand? I just cannot imagine that scenario in my family. It would be like them providing milk and bread or something basic like that. I’d feel uncomfortable.

I am American and we don't get 12 months maternity leave. You can use vacation and sick leave and I know of no job that would let you be off for a year and hold your job. Everyone I know got 6 weeks and us and our children survived. We don't have the benefits you have but I don't think we pay as much in taxes as you do.

Nothing wrong in family helping each other out, but it becomes a problem when people then start to act like spoilt brats when that help is withdrawn for whatever reason.

I am just shocked . No one bought anything for my kids, nor did we expect them to. I did get some hand down stuff, would have preferred new as doubt If it was safe but dh insisted. It was ok.
What a world .

@Foxmuffin

I went to a very similar baby shower with a gift list- they used it as an excuse to get everything they could possibly need for their baby. I genuinely think they would have had anything left to buy themselves.