To be amazed by how entitled some people can be!

[TheJoxter]

I’m on a few Facebook parenting pages, today on one a mother was complaining that her MIL, who currently pays for all her son’s nappies, has said she won’t pay for any more if they have a second child. Cue loads of comments about how horrible and controlling the MIL is for not doing this for them.

Maybe I’m missing something but I certainly wouldn’t expect my MIL to pay for any nappies for any of my children, let alone all my nappies for multiple children!

I'm not surprised at all. There are many many people who believe children shouldn't cost them a thing and that others should pay.

That’s quite an odd situation; when the mil started paying for the nappies I wonder what she planned about future children or if it was just to help out and didn’t really think it through.
My mil buys a lot for our DD and I’m very careful never to expect it and just see it as a bonus for that exact reason

Get MIL to buy her a set of cloth nappies. Better all round.

My grandparents bought loads for our first - bottles, wipes, nappies, clothes.. MIL bought us the pushchair. None of them asked for money, they said they were gifts. Certaintly wouldn't demand it nor would I expect the same for a second child.

It seems a strange thing to buy nappies at all for someone. My mum got us a pack once when we all had norovirus and couldn't go out. Our families buy clothes and toys, the fun stuff. Too much of it on my side, but they've calmed down a little.

That’s quite an odd situation; when the mil started paying for the nappies I wonder what she planned about future children or if it was just to help out and didn’t really think it through. What thinking through is required? If you bought some baby clothes, nobody would expect you to think through "Can I afford to continue clothing this child through to adulthood?". No-one should assume "I'll buy the nappies for this grandchild" means "I'll but the nappies for all my grandchildren".

I found this when I was pregnant. I was on a FB group and most had baby showers with an amazon registry. Some got really narked if someone gifted something NOT on the registry and they basically expected their friends and family to kit them out.

There was also a lot of competition between their families and in laws. I couldn’t believe the level of entitlement. I assumed most people had children with the expectation they would support themselves.

They were mostly American (I’m sure not all Americans are like this). Where often they return to work 2-6 weeks following the birth. I couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t so materialistic they’d be able to spend more time off with their families.

Bit of a rod for your own back as if you’re getting 30 odd expensive gifts at your shower that’s 30 odd gifts you’re committing to buy in the future. Some people said to invite more people to their showers to get a larger haul!

if you can't pay for your own off spring you shouldn't have then in the first place, why rely on the state / friends and family to fund and bring up your kids ?

The MIL should really treat their grandchildren the same. If one gets £100 when they are born the next one should too.

What

How about accepting the first £100 with incredible gratitude and not expecting another penny/gift for the rest of your life?

This is the problem. Entitled parents who don’t see generosity as it’s simply expected. Then the kids are brought up the same way until we’re overrun with them.

My friends and I found a phone on a park bench. Waited for owner then rang last number owner answered. Barked at us to bring her her phone - she was other side of town. We refused but said we would hand in to nearest information centre which I thought pretty nice of us. She tutted!. Not a word of thanks! With that attitude her phone would have stayed on the bench

@KellyW88 don’t feel embarrassed! Families do help each other out and if your parents were struggling I’m sure you’d do the same. And if they said they could no longer afford it I'm sure you wouldn’t take to the Internet bitching about it!

MsTSwift

I found a phone in my car, the battery was dead so I used the sim card in my phone and found a contact, "dad".

I called, he said he would pass the message on, the owner turned up that afternoon with 4 cans of beer.

Maybe baby 1 was an accident, parents really struggling financially and mil, despite being herself not in a great financial position, agreed to help buying nappies until they were in a better financial position. Then instead of bettering themselves, financially, decided to have number 2 and mil decided it was time they learned to budget accordingly to their choices.

My siblings started breeding in 1970 and my Mum bought a bale of terry nappies and a nappy bucket for each first child which I understand were gratefully received and set them up for all their children.

(I was much much younger and didn't have DC myself).

For once I actually hope the daily mail picks this up, purely to shame the entitled cow.

I'm not surprised at all. There are many many people who believe children shouldn't cost them a thing and that others should pay.
That’s a loaded comment. Care to expand on that one? Who are these many, many people not expecting to pay for their children?

A friend's DIL is an utter CFer when it comes to demanding from the in-laws. Before their DS's baby was born, DIL insisted on them only buying baby items from certain shops, so for example, if she wanted something like a Chicco Next 2 me crib buying for her, it had to be the one sold in a fancy baby boutique for £200 instead of the exact same make and model one from say, Argos for £100. It would be the exact same one but she would refuse to accept her requested demanded gifts without seeing proof it was bought from a posh shop.

My friends are not well off by any means (both long term dole) but DIL live like she is. Both the DIL and DS work in decent jobs but their cheap HA rent is months behind because she likes expensive things instead. The in-laws found out she was watering down the baby's milk so they started buying a tin here and there. When they couldn't afford it one week, DIL turned up and said, "Have you forgotten something?"

My DP's and PIL's were never expected to pay for our babies. They of course bought gifts but we asked for nothing at all and funded our kids ourselves.

I found a parcel left behind my garden gate, addressed to a similar address (100 Some Road rather than my address 100 Some Street, IYSWIM).

I took the parcel over to the correct address, but got a grilling from the person there. Why had I signed for it if it wasn't for me?? I said I didn't sign, she asked if I expected her to believe that?? (Why would I lie and deliver it anyway - makes no sense)

Should have said, next time it goes in the bin. Mind you, if the reverse mistake was made, I wouldn't want them to bin my parcel either... Hmm..

That’s a loaded comment. Care to expand on that one? Who are these many, many people not expecting to pay for their children?

How is it loaded? If all of us know even one each (I have one of my own) it would quickly add up to many wouldn’t it? Threads all over this place about people expecting free childcare, baby equipment to be provided for them and concessions to made because ‘we have a baby/children’. Yes, there are many who by virtue of having reproduced believe that their extended family and friends circle and even random strangers in public places are obligated to sub/accommodate them in many ways, not just financially.

They were mostly American (I’m sure not all Americans are like this). Where often they return to work 2-6 weeks following the birth. I couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t so materialistic they’d be able to spend more time off with their families.

Well, if it’s materialistic to want to keep a roof over your head or eat or pay bills then you have a point but, since, unlike people in the UK, the majority of Americans get very little in the way of paid leave of any kind and 6 weeks maternity leave would be considered extremely generous, they often have very little choice but to return to work very quickly.

I worked with someone like this.

Her mum paid for loads because they could make ends meet. Then had another baby and then another.

The mum was under huge strain and when she wanted a fourth child the mother withdrew the financial support.

Shockingly, they managed to make ends meets and didnt have a fourth.

I think having a child, planning financially on money from others is ridiculous

If the woman in question cany afford nappies for both kids, she shouldnt be having 2.

Where often they return to work 2-6 weeks following the birth. I couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t so materialistic they’d be able to spend more time off with their families.

.

They often have to go back or lose the job that provides them and their child with health insurance. They don't get a lot of paid leave or SMP or Child Benefit or UC for help with childcare or tax credits or FA, either.

But hey, any chance to slag off Americans on MN!

The latest comment on this Facebook post...
Someone’s suggesting she leaves her husband so she doesn’t have to have anything to do with her MIL any more!

Literally all this woman’s said about her MIL is that she won’t pay for any more nappies if they have another child. Not convinced that’s a good enough reason for divorce!

This is a thing?