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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about car parking or is DH?

84 replies

Beachcomber · 31/05/2019 10:04

This is really petty but bugging me.

Yesterday I went to the shop with one of our cars, it's about a 30 min round journey including shopping time so I wasn't away for long at all. We have a small area between the road and our garden where we can just park our 2 cars. We never use this space for anything else.

I came back from the shop and backed into the space as I always do as the visibility isn't great when you are leaving so it's better to be facing forwards. You can't see terribly well out of the back of my car as the back windscreen is small but it has a parking sensor. I stopped abruptly as I was backing in as I heard a noise which sounded like I was starting to touch the bushes at the back of the parking space but my sensor hadn't warned me I was too close and I could see out the back that I was still a good metre from the bush.

DH appeared looking really cross and I got out the car to see what was going on.

DH had left our lawnmower near the back of the parking space, slightly hidden by the back of our other car but with 3/4 of it overlapping into the other parking space and that was what I backed into.

There is a tiny scratch on the car bumper and scuffing on our ancient and battered lawnmower so hardly a big deal.

DH had a right go at me for not looking properly, etc and I said, OK I'm perfectly willing to admit that I probably didn't look properly but I was backing into a private parking space on my own land that I could see perfectly well didn't have another vehicle on it, that I had left empty 30 mins previously and that in 6 years of living here has never had anything in it other than my car or occasionally a visitor's car.

I was pissed off at him for leaving a totally unexpected object there, totally unnecessarily and when he knew I'd popped to the shop and would be back whilst the object was there. How stupid can you get.

I admit that it is mostly my fault as a driver I should have looked better (although I'm not too sure how as I couldn't see the lawnmower out of my back windscreen which I did look out of as I always do, I never just depend on the sensor).

The AIBU is AIBU to be pissed off with DH for totally refusing that he is partly responsible and that it was a stupid place to leave the lawnmower.

I'm pissed off because he has form for not being good at admitting he is wrong and this, despite being petty and no big deal in terms of damage done, is really bloody annoying.

As far as he's concerned it was 100% my fault. I accept that I made a driver error but I just want him to admit that what he did was silly and the chances were that I wouldn't see the lawnmower, especially as I couldn't possibly anticipate it being there and that he was silly for leaving it there. I'm not asking for much just a "oh shit Beach, I wasn't thinking, oh well lucky there isn't really any damage done, lesson to us both, etc"

AIBU ?

OP posts:
Isatis · 31/05/2019 12:11

Why do people keep telling OP it's 100% her fault when she's accepted that several times?

The point is that it was, at best, inconsiderate to leave something in a place where OP's husband knew perfectly well she would be coming back to shortly. So he ought to accept that, at the very least.

billy1966 · 31/05/2019 12:12

YANBU

Your married to a twat.
Nothing more annoying than being with someone who blames everyone around and never takes responsibility.

It's pretty but I'm with leaving a few things for him to hit. Whilst never admitting that you've done it deliberately.

Top tip... Practice your innocent face in the mirror before taking action.👍

billy1966 · 31/05/2019 12:12

Petty

wonkidonki · 31/05/2019 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eliza9919 · 31/05/2019 12:20

I admit that it is mostly my fault as a driver I should have looked better (although I'm not too sure how as I couldn't see the lawnmower out of my back windscreen which I did look out of as I always do, I never just depend on the sensor).

You need to stop being so careless. It could have been children playing in the bushes or something.

Antigonads · 31/05/2019 12:31

There is a complete blind spot behind my Land Cruiser so, having driven past a spot and seen it is empty, I reverse in presuming it will still be empty. Not much else I can do is there?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 31/05/2019 12:51

So your husband checked afterwards how visible the lawnmower was, but he doesn't know you saw him.
Strange he didn't come and say "I tried to park in your place, and the lawnmower was totally visible" which means that it wasn't.
His pride won't let him admit "I tried to park like you and couldn't see it either"
You should definitely let him know that you saw his test, and what the outcome was.

Original poster
Beachcomber · 31/05/2019 13:20

BreakfastAtSquiffanys

I will probably tease him about it in a couple of days time. I'm certain what his experiment showed was that the lawnmower was not visible either from the approach to the space or out of the windscreen.

I'm interested in asking him what the parking sensor did because with me it was doing the usual slow beep beep but was not yet at the fast beep or the continous beep which means that it was picking up the bush as usual but missed the mower. Perhaps because it was low down and on one side a bit. I don't know but I want to because I do use it to park although as I say I'm wary of depending on sensors and always look out the back and judge my parking distance myself too.

I will check the sensor today too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beachcomber · 31/05/2019 13:23

He's just nipped to the shop for supplies with my car.

Maybe I should pop a the wheel barrow half hidden behind his car at the back of the empty space the car has left.

😁

(I'm joking. I'd never do anything so petty and potentially dangerous / damaging)

OP posts:
poobumwee · 31/05/2019 13:27

My DH and I have both caused damage to our cars over the years. If he had a go at me for damaging the car, he would get a right mouthful off me. I'm a grown up and don't expect to be chastised for a genuine mistake. You don;t need to put up with that OP

SuckingDieselNow · 31/05/2019 13:36

If it had been the other way round, he probably would have blamed you for leaving the mower there. I agree with PP v annoying but there's fault on both sides and he could just say sorry and be thankful more damage wasn't done.

SuckingDieselNow · 31/05/2019 13:37

Yes I would definitely leave the wheelbarrow but am that petty!

Fromage · 31/05/2019 14:07

can you use something to make a chalk outline of a mower where his car goes, and fashion some tape saying 'police line do not cross'? Grin

Also I'm with you Beachcomber- wtf was he thinking putting something where you park? How about you lay traps about the house for him to not see (what with him, y'know, not being used to having a mug of cold tea balancing on top of the coat pegs) and then refuse to accept blame for all and any disasters, soakings, near death experiences or international incidents that he might suffer. By the third concussion, I think he'll admit he was wrong.

Original poster
Beachcomber · 31/05/2019 19:20

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I'm over it now after having teased DH and him having had a good ribbing from our guests, who unbeknown to us, heard what went on.

Thanks all for your various opinions. You have made me feel better but also added that I must never go into automatic mode again no matter what the circumstances.

Lesson learned.

Thankfully no pets, tortoises, lawnmowers etc were harmed.

Drive carefully people. 😊

OP posts:
HolesinTheSoles · 31/05/2019 19:25

You should have checked - what if a child had been there? That said he was an idiot for leaving it there. At the best it would have been a hassle for you to get out and move it.

Alsohuman · 31/05/2019 19:29

OP very patiently explained hours ago that it was impossible for a child to be there.

HolesinTheSoles · 31/05/2019 19:31

OP very patiently explained hours ago that it was impossible for a child to be there.

It could never be impossible. That's ridiculous.

Bouledeneige · 31/05/2019 19:38

Well OP - I think your DH is at fault. Sure there could have been a school choir of orphans and their pet puppies in the spot. But there wasn't - there was something that had no reason to be there and would have been incredibly hard to spot from a car. No reason for him to leave it there! I think a lot of people could have done the same thing because presumably you frequently reverse into that spot without any children, war heroes, tortoises or lawnmowers being present.

And if he knew you'd popped to the shops then he's even more wrong. Just a blokey thing of instant blame. You should be telepathic to know he abandoned the lawnmower on gravel in the parking spot.

Alsohuman · 31/05/2019 19:46

OP lives in the middle of nowhere and both her children were in the car with her. Where would this mythical child come from? Did the fairies leave it?

UrsulaPandress · 31/05/2019 20:03

Will nobody think of the changelings.

Karigan195 · 31/05/2019 20:06

You’re reversing. What if there had been a visiting child on the drive. If you’re reversing you look.

Karigan195 · 31/05/2019 20:07

Ps hypothetical johovahs witness out delivering the word of god with his/her mum or dad. Point is you don’t know which is why you look

Alsohuman · 31/05/2019 20:07

Fairies are back again.

GinUp · 31/05/2019 20:09

Where would this mythical child come from? Did the fairies leave it?

It probably rode there on the tortoise.

SmarmyMrMime · 31/05/2019 20:28

Everybody knows random children could drop from the sky at any given moment having been swept up by a tornado in Oklahoma. Duh. Grin

What if it was a passing black rhino witg hide too thick to be picked up by a parking sensor? Grin

Automatic blame anyone else reactions are very irritating. I'm trying hard to train my 8yo out of it for the benefit of any DiLs I may have in the future.

5 days after my dad died, DM had someone drive into the side of her from a side road. Her initial thought was "Shit, what will I tell him"... then in her first happy thought since her world was rocked apart, she realised that she didn't have to tell him and face auto-criticism.

I like the way he's too proud to confess the results of the test. Prat. At least you know you're vindicated Wink