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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the etiquette for potty in public place?

135 replies

WhenZogateSuperworm · 30/05/2019 21:15

I’ve read some posts on here really against using a potty in a public place so need some advice. DS is 2 and we have just started potty training. I need to go to the supermarket tomorrow. When he needs to go he needs to go right now.

I have a travel potty and usually would be one saying whipping it out in the supermarket is gross- but it’s going to be that or a puddle on the shop floor which is surely worse?

So... potty in public- when/where is an absolute no no and where is it ok to try and use discreetly?

OP posts:
Osirus · 30/05/2019 23:31

If he cannot hold on for an hour then sorry but you cannot leave the house, unless you put him in a nappy.

It’s not fair on him, on you and certainly on anyone else.

This. It sounds like he’s not actually physically ready, even if he is mentally willing. My almost 3 year old daughter has just potty trained herself (literally), and straightaway can hold “it” in for quite some time when we are out, and she gives me plenty of notice to get her to a toilet. I’ve never taken a potty with me anywhere.

In the first few days I used a nappy/pull up when we went out, but she never used it.

Perhaps get him some pull ups or training pants and he can wear them when you go out, but can be nappy free at home? Just until he can hold it a bit longer/has more control.

Bambamber · 30/05/2019 23:31

He doesn't sound ready. Kids can be mentally ready before they're physically ready.

IsabellaLinton · 30/05/2019 23:39

I’ve never used a potty with mine, straight to the toilet! I just couldn’t face washing and cleaning it out. If we’re out anywhere, pull-ups if not reliably dry and a mad dash to the loos if yes.

Eliza9919 · 30/05/2019 23:40

Would you piss in the middle of the supermarket?

Don't make your kid do it Hmm

Kiakiakia · 30/05/2019 23:55

Grin lol no thats not me. But anywhere outdoors is a go for an au naturale pee. We were all kids once, theres bigger fish to fry than getting all OMG if an exhausted mum is trying to potty train her child.

feeona123 · 31/05/2019 00:01

Pull ups...never taken a potty out of our house with my two

Sixgeese · 31/05/2019 00:38

I tended to have a more relaxed view. When potty training DC1, we stayed in until he was reliable but with DC2 and DC3 sometimes there were places we had to take DC1 (like nursery or school)

I had a fold up potty that had a lining bag which could be removed and thrown away, we used it anywhere that was ok for people to let their dogs wee, so inside a shop never, but behind a tree fine. A few times I had to run for the shop door with potty and child but I couldn't really say to the school sorry DC1 won't be in for x days as I am potty training his younger siblings.

We did try and use public toilets as much as possible, and the potty converted to a child seat which came in handy, but we had the potty for emergency use.

blue25 · 31/05/2019 00:54

I feel sick reading this thread. No one wants to see your child urinating/defecating in the supermarket (or anywhere)!

Louiselouie0890 · 31/05/2019 01:33

I didn't go nappy free in public until they mastered it at home.

Perso25 · 31/05/2019 07:22

Disagree with a lot here.

Once nappy has come off I don't think replacing with a pull up when going out is a step in the right direction.

A little toddler on a travel potty in public is fine in my opinion.

If in a supermarket and Theybsuddenly needed to go I'd grab them and dart to toilet. If they couldn't old it I'd change their clothes in toilet.

In public I'd try to be discreet but don't think it is an issue if a travel potty is seen being used.

I judge older children (SEN aside) who are in nappies 3/4 more

nespressowoo · 31/05/2019 07:29

To the PPs asking if the family handed the piss-filled potty over to a cashier - no they they didn't. Self-service checkout Grin

smallereveryday · 31/05/2019 07:47

Have children in the last quarter century all suddenly lost the collective ability to 'hold on'. ? I thought the ENTIRE point of potty training was to teach the toddler control over their own bodily functions .. not to just sit on a potty the instant they shout 'wee wee'. - surely doing this teaches absolutely nothing in the way of control. ?

Long time ago now but I don't ever remember this being a thing to become even remotely stressed about. You start by getting them used to sitting on the potty when if you are lucky something occurs (to which , much praise) - then letting them run round with pull ups on. (Few days at home). Then go out wearing pull ups and just constantly ask if they want a wee. I have honestly NEVER met anyone who used a potty outside the house. Even on a car journey I just held them up by the kerbside if desperate and no petrol station facilities available.

kaytee87 · 31/05/2019 07:48

@Perso25 you judge a 3yo in nappies? Also how on earth would you or anyone else know if a small child had SEN? A lot of things aren't diagnosed until 6.

Quellium · 31/05/2019 07:51

I've potty trained 3 and I've never taken a potty out to use in public. I stayed in or used pull ups.

Star81 · 31/05/2019 07:53

The minute you go into the supermarket go straight to the toilets to try a wee. Then that should give you time to get around the supermarket after that

ANewDawn10 · 31/05/2019 08:16

Please dont be disgusting and take out your potty in the supermarket. The respect and hygiene for others is more important than you potty training. If he cant wait a second then hes not ready to go out. Or take him before you go or immediately when you get there. Or put him in a pull up. Disgusting to be using a potty anywhere other than a toilet.

bluebluezoo · 31/05/2019 09:59

I was asked to leave a supermarket cafe last week as someone had complained.

My dd’s hair had come loose so I gave it a quick brush and tied it back up.

Apparently brushing hair around food is unhygienic. I was told to go to the toilets.

Can you imagine the uproar if someone whipped a potty out?

I find the potty whippers, and yes, i’ve come across a few, are those that incessantly brag that their 2 year old is out of nappies and “so advanced”.

Then the child pees on the floor in baby ballet despite mum being behind with a potty, and the toilet being 6ft away.

Some people seem to be desperate to meet those early markers as some sort of advanced indicator. See also early weaning, forward facing car seats, and spending years washing bedsheets every day rather than keep an older child in night nappies until they’re ready.

Make life easier for yourself and wait!!

zingally · 31/05/2019 11:46

If he's not reliable enough yet to not pee himself in the middle of the supermarket, then he still needs to be in a pull-up/nappy when out of the house.

Absolutely NO NO NO to a potty in the middle of an aisle! Ask yourself if you've EVER seen anyone else doing this? There's your answer.

User8888888 · 31/05/2019 13:51

So I’m a month into potty training and it is basically rubbish and I think you just have to accept that. My view has been that the potty is fine for somewhere an older child might have an alfresco wee bit not anywhere like a supermarket. We had one accident in a shop in the early days and it was far less noticeable than it would have been if we’d whipped a potty out as her clothes absorbed it. It made me feel better as it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared.

We’re still averaging one accident a day. She’s old enough and fully capable but easily distracted. I’d love one of the kids that has never had an accident that you only really hear about on mumsnet.

Mendips · 31/05/2019 13:55

I never had a travel potty - it really is unpleasant to get it out anywhere other than in a toilet

bluebluezoo · 31/05/2019 13:59

We’re still averaging one accident a day. She’s old enough and fully capable but easily distracted

How old is she?

One accident a day would be too much hassle for me and they’d be back in nappies until more reliable.

TheInvestigator · 31/05/2019 14:04

One accident a day after a month of potty training says to me that she's not ready. I would have her back in pull ups because doing double the washing you need to every week is just too much.

HistoryWistery · 31/05/2019 14:09

MrsArnott
I would not like my child to wonder around in a wet outfit so I'm afraid a potty in a supermarket would have to do. If you have warning then obviously ditch the trolley and try to carry the potty and child as far as you can away from food, but honestly if anyone kicked up a fuss they're a bigger dickhgaed than you! (You wouldn't be a dickehead) x

Wow. If you would seriously do this then the only dickhead is you!

Go to the toilet. If he can't manage then he must wear pullups

User8888888 · 31/05/2019 14:24

bluebluezoo She’s just turned 3. We’ve had a week with no accidents at all so she can do it. I think she’s leaving it until the very last minute sometimes as she doesn’t want to stop playing. It is annoying but I don’t think she needs to go back into pull-ups. She just needs to stop arsing about.

Nanny0gg · 31/05/2019 14:30

He's not ready. Why the rush?

And someone once put their toddler on a potty under the conveyer belt.

I think she soon realised what I thought about it...