Nursery Fees v salary

[Hippopotas]

I may be mad but I’m considering TTC in a few months so just doing a bit of research on nursery fees and I’m shocked to find that if I want to go back full time after I have a baby the cost of nursery will take all but £300 of my after tax income!

How do people do it and still manage?

I was a sahm who recently went back to work in a very competitive sector I hadn’t been in for 10years. I know what it’s like. I also have several sahds in my life too and I got a job quicker and easier than them.

But for what it’s worth we honestly couldn’t afford for me to go back to work until DD was 3. I came back for my MH and we break even every month. Soon to change though 👩‍🎓

This is one of the reasons I haven't gone back to work. I just don't see it making any sense until we get 30 hours free childcare. Then, on top of that, you start thinking of having a second etc etc and start again from the beginning.

@MiddleClassProblem we had to break even for a little while too, was a bit deflating at the time but was worth it in the long run. Now the kids are in school we are much more flush (plus I've been promoted a couple of times which wouldn't have happened if I'd left of course). Sometimes you have to think long term don't you.

As others have said don't think that you are 'only bringing home £300/month what's the point?'. First of all your child care bills are only 50% of what you firt thought. Let your husband worry about his 50%. I know it makes no difference to the overall family pot but it makes a difference when you realise you are actually contributing a significant amount with your wage. I find it demoralising when people come to this conclusion and the man then takes the view that her career is just 'pocket money'.

Secondly please don't underestimate the other benefits of working - sanity, interaction with adults, a peaceful lunchbreak, ability to use the bathroom in peace, self-worth, career progression and pension.

Thirdly it gets a lot easier once baby is 3. Either space them out well and continue working or have them all close together and be a SAHM and take one big financial hit for a few years.

I know you are married so it's less of a worry but I am concerned that a women's pensions are a ticking time bomb. There are so many unmarried women, not working and raising children for their partners. These women will have no pension when their relationship breaks down (unless they have something else in place and many don't)

I much prefer working to being SAHM but I'm lucky I have the choice. Many mothers would love to have that extra £300.

You might be eligible for tax free childcare too so that can help.

@Hippopotas try not to think of it as your salary paying for nursery and your family living off your partners salary. You need to think of childcare as a cost that your household incurs. If it’s always seen as the woman’s expense then you will start to question why you’re bothering to work. Having a baby is an expensive business and you are both responsible for those costs.

Our 30 hours kicked in in April, we've gone from Paying £450 a month for 3 days a week (tax free childcare, fees were actually £538) to about £150 a month for the same 3 full days.

we have been lucky that MIL has done 2 days a week childcare for us too and so when I returned to 5 days a week it has been more than worth it. Ds Nursery is £42.50 a day, for 10 hours - £4.25 an hour, about a 3rd of my hourly rate so was always worth it for me to return to work.

Childminders. I have twins and to put them into nursery I would have been left with nothing, but found a great childminder. It’s expensive no matter what you do, but nurseries are extortionate. Even with a childminder, new parents have to accept that they will work until they are three ( when free hours start) for pennies just to keep your foot in the door at work

Childcare is expensive but they are taking care of the most precious thing in the world to you. In my area nurseries and cm are around the same price, around £5 an hour. My friend uses a cm and, as she points out although the bill is high she still pays her cm less per hour than the person who cuts her hair, walks her dog, cleans her house, valets her car, makes her lunch....you could go on.
Some friends have compressed their hours, all use the tax free childcare (or the old vouchers), the very lucky ones get help from family. I became a SAHM which is an expensive choice, others went very part time and tried working flexibly to reduce their childcare bill. The 30 hours has been a bit of a game changer for many of my friends (quite a lot of provison in my area).

You are only responsible for half the fees, your husband the other half, so you would be ledt with more than £300

I have I had twins and spent in total 50k for nursery 3 days per week for 3 years. It was lovely when they started school!

Yep we've had to suck it up too for the the past few years. DD is 5 and DS is 3, he will get his 30 hours from September and we will finally be over £1000 a month better off. The downside is we will have to sort out the after school pick-up. Our lovely CM currently picks up DD but once DS moves to pre-school in September and she is no longer looking after him FT it's unlikely she'll continue. She doesn't do school runs and only did it for DD because she had DS.

So childcare costs will go down but a new headache emerges as I'm not a huge fan of the after school club. Ah well, we all have our crosses to bear.

It's been a tough few years financially but I kept 3 things in mind:

• Staying in work brings long term financial benefits already mentioned plus (at my company at least) added things like private healthcare for the entire family, company shares each year of service etc
• Our CM looked after the 2 most important people on our lives so we don't begrudge her a penny
• Sometimes I think about the total £££ spent in childcare over 5 years and wince. Then I think, if someone offered me that sum in exchange for my kids would I take it? (although depending on how annoying they are being only given day that answer may vary!)

Also, we could have bought property with what we spent on childcare over the years, SIL had MIL providing free childcare week in week out on tap. Now MIL is ageing, she's looking for regular help and SIL is feeling the strain of expectation. It's payback time. We're beholden to no-one which is priceless.

I am anticipating these costs as currently TTC and I can't afford to not go back to work as I am in higher earner.

Looking at approximately 900 per month after tax free childcare for a full time place. I am hoping that I can condense my hours into four days with perhaps my OH doing the same so we can reduce the bill.

It sucks, but we know we just have to muddle through. Having a second is a definite no however unless I get a juicy payrise between them!

I have I had twins and spent in total 50k for nursery 3 days per week for 3 years.
That's actually relatively cheap by today's nursery fees - I don't know a place around me cheaper than £60/day (and those are nurseries closing fully for holidays too). But yes, when you add it together, the total amount is scary.

It was tough 3 years until the 15 (at the time) free hours kicked in, then we had zero costs once DC started school.

I remember feeling your pain OP! However I never deducted it from my salary as we saw it as a joint expense.

Let's face it, no one goes 'once I deduct all my bill's I'm working for £100 a month' but women seem to for childcare.

It's a massive expense and the worst part is the people actually looking after your children are paid peanuts!

One reason we had a daily nanny was we had a baby, 1 year old and 3 year old for the first 3 children and with the twins 10 year after obviously 2 at once but the nanny could also collect the 3 from school/coaches and make dinner for 5 and be there in holidays for school age children whilst babies were little.

2 nursery places full time for a baby 1 or 2 year old is likely to be more expensive than paying one daily nanny at home.

Yes, nanny seems to be the most cost effective option once you have more than one especially if they are close in age.

I'm also aghast at the number of women on MN and who I meet IRL who see childcare as their expense alone DP earns less than me so pays a proportionally lower share (although he is able to claim the full child care voucher amount due to his lower earnings unlike me so it almost evens out) but it never crossed either of our minds to place the full burden of costs on me.

I have several friends who have stopped work or reluctantly taken rare school hours 'mum jobs' because they couldn't afford FT childcare.

Apparently their husbands salaries and careers are sacrosanct and cannot be impacted in any way by such costs

That wasn't the case with us even in the 1980s! I out earned my husband most of the time other than the first year and in fact he even found, advertising (and with my interviewed) the nanny and we just had joint accounts so payment went out of that. Even in the 1980s many women did not see childcare as a woman's responsibility. In fact in the 1950s my mother earned more than my father too and going further back my granny and great granny were widowed with babies so were the ones earning the money!

Regardless of if one person pays it all or 2 people pay half each, the household income after paying it is exactly the same.

I pay all the childcare out of my wages because it is billed fortnightly and I get paid fortnightly whereas dh gets paid monthly so it makes sense to do it this way. Our joint household income is the same though whether I pay the childcare, he pays the childcare or we both pay 50% of the childcare.

Nursery fees are ridiculous but it’s worth it for keeping up with your career and there is an end in sight with school eventually. Breakfast/after school clubs are still a fair chunk but a lot less than full time daycare.

Kids, they ain’t cheap.