Nursery Fees v salary

[Hippopotas]

I may be mad but I’m considering TTC in a few months so just doing a bit of research on nursery fees and I’m shocked to find that if I want to go back full time after I have a baby the cost of nursery will take all but £300 of my after tax income!

How do people do it and still manage?

You think long term. You only pay for nursery for a short amount of time then you get the 30 free hours.

It's short term pain for long term gain in my experience.

we manage but its really expensive. We use the tax free childcare scheme which brings it down a little. You might get 30 funded hours the term after your child turns 3. We will do.

ImNotNigel, I don't think people should moan on theads about men paying expensive child support. I think separated couples should pay 50% of the full time childcare bills each.

I don't think you can compare the child support threads because on most of them we have no idea whether the child is in FT childcare or none at all.

A child who does not go to childcare does really only cost formula and nappies, a child in FT nursery obviously costs more than that but then you can argue that who's decision was it to use FT childcare, is it necessary, can one parent demand half the bill from the other even if they had no involvement in it etc etc you could go on.

CMS is flawed but it would be incredibly difficult to create a better system because there are so many different situations and things to take into account!

I was paying over a thousand a month for nursery when DS first attended (helped by childcare vouchers). After 6-7 months I got to the top of the queue for work subsidy and got 10% off. DH wasn't working so I carried it all - but he was looking for contracts so couldn't commit to childcare either. So we just had to stick it out. By the time DS got to 3 we were used to the cash not being there (and DH was working again) and had adjusted lifestyles. But I wouldn't have wanted to have had more than one child...

In retrospect, the nursery was the best thing we could have ever done because DS turned out to have ASD, and the social development he got by being with other children at that age probably made the difference between him having a lasting social deficit and being able to function happily in mainstream schools.

A child who does not go to childcare does really only cost formula and nappies, a child in FT nursery obviously costs more than that but then you can argue that who's decision was it to use FT childcare, is it necessary, can one parent demand half the bill from the other even if they had no involvement in it

Lille hell does a child only cost formula and nappies! What nonsense - clearly you have never had one!

And having a child requires childcare for parents to work. That’s how life in the UK in the 21st century works. When you have a baby you know that. You don’t get to decide how another adults runs their life for the next 18 years.

Consenting adults who choose to have sex run the risk of having a baby. Babies and children in our culture cost money for roughly 20 years. I dont know why this is so hard for supposedly intelligent adults to grasp.

Once you make the baby, you need to be prepare to pay up.

I am raging about the parents ( almost all men ) who abandon their children in poverty, leaving mothers, tax payers and society to pick up the pieces.

Of course it’s perfectly possible to make most of these men pay, there’s just no political will.

nigel erm you're wrong ive got a 3yo.

"having a child requires childcare for parents to work" - Well you are not required to work. Plenty of women are SAHM's.

I have never said anyone shouldn't pay up so please point out where you have got that from? I just said that obviously a child in FT childcare costs more than one that isn't. You seem to have taken that and twisted it into all sorts of shite I never said!

@EmrysAtticus

Good luck with the 30 hours if you live where I do.

A total fallacy that it's available. We are £800 a month better off now that DD is in P1.

Ditching the car is another £200

We are loaded far from it

The way I saw it was that it wasn’t forever (2 years and a few months) until 30 hours kicked in and I was still paying pension contributions, NI. etc. Breakfast lunch and dinner was paid for 5 days a week for DD plus a whole load of resources that meant we didn’t need them at home (plus some ready made buddies!). Cost was split between me and DH (as all other costs are) and we coped (no holidays etc).

Interestingly, where I am (SE London) childminders were more expensive and wanted extra for when out and about, hence we went with a nursery.

@MsRabbitRocks yes childminders were more expensive for us too because I needed up to 6pm for commuting so a nursery daily rate was cheaper than a childminder's hourly rate in total.

@newjobnerves I said sahp not sahm...

It's the cost of having a child. It's a bit like having a mortgage and having to pay that. It takes a significant chunk of your salary, but the advantage is you get a child out of it and you also get the benefits of building your career, paying into pension, promotions, training, etc. during that time. When I went back to work after my first was born, nursery costs ate all of my salary. There was literally no financial advantage to me working. But 5 years later, I went back to work after a second mat leave, to a new job and a salary that is about £20,000 more than I was earning then. So the advantages to working despite the costs of childcare have been enormous long-term. Never mind for my sanity.

It's a sacrifice you make when the kids are young. As others say, it's not forever, and if you (either of you I mean) get a promotion during that time you will find it much easier.

We were in a similar situation when ours were born, it worked out in the end. I would not have not gone back to work. As it was I went back earlier than originally planned.

You just have to suck it up for a few years. I dropped to 3 days when I went back after mat leave with DS1. He gets the free hours in September.

We've just had DS2. By the time he goes to nursery DS1 will be about to start school. We can't afford to have any more.

Since I went back to work after DS1 I have moved jobs and now earn more so we will probably both do 4 days when I return from mat leave as makes more financial sense and will keep the childcare to 3 days. It will be tight and holidays beyond a cheap week away in the UK are a no no but we make it work.

Childminders aren't cheaper here either. £5.50 an hour plus meals for childminder and £63 a day (including all meals and snacks) for nursery.

You're right, it's ridiculous. I thank my lucky stars I live somewhere that its heavily subsidised!

Childminder and tax free childcare (and taking a deep breath knowing it’s not forever)

Sorry to hear that Trooper :( DS got his 30 hours at the end of April and it is saving us around £300 a month which is fab. Why isn't it working in your area?

You have to see it as a fee to help you keep working and also to carry on paying into your pension as well as any employer contributions. The latter is something that isn’t often mentioned as a benefit but it really is even if you do t see it in the short term.

Just wanted to add OP (I don't think this has been mentioned). Not all nurseries offer all of 30 free hours, or indeed any. Ours didn't as it was a hugely expensive private nursery. You just need to muddle through somehow in the first few years. People who have relatives willing to help are very lucky!

The other thing to consider is when they start school at age 4, you need to organise dropoffs and pickups, which is tough when you work full time. I have managed to cope by doing flexible hours, mostly working at home (so I tend to work very late into the night or start early, as my clients are all over the world and I rarely need to actually speak to them). It does wear you down in the very beginning though.

No 30 free hours here in NI. Childcare a lot cheaper than England though

@MiddleClassProblem that doesn't change my response in the slightest. You can put parent/person instead of mum/woman but it doesn't change the crux of my point or that it is still largely women who are being made to consider whether their salary is sufficient to work or not.

If you are a sahm you've given up a salary plus pension plus paid sick and holiday and other benefits. Usually that adds up to more than Childcare. Sahm is the most expensive form of childcare.

Imagine a nursery worker is asking what you said. Why is it okay to expect people to earn a lot less than you so that you get to keep more of your money?

@headinhands to be fair when DH and were low income we had our childcare hugely subsidised by tax credits, childcare tax credits are available for 2 children in a house earning up to £50k! The allowance is higher than the usual TC. Not sure how it works under UC though.

Until recently we spent all our income on just the basics, including rent and childcare.

We just budgeted and got on with it cos I didn't want to give up my job and DP and I earn roughly the same anyway.

It's worth it to keep working imo. I just got my first manager role and I don't think I would have if I had stopped working for 2-3 years.

Also stop thinking of it as coming out of your salary. It's a shared expense!