altercation with neighbour what to do

[cupofcaj]

Me and my DH (27 and 30) are currently living somewhere where we must share the laundry facilities with one neighbour (live on the same property but separate houses, so to speak). We weren't very much taken by the couple living next door, whenever we walked passed and said hello they looked the other way. At first I thought they were shy, but they always make such a racket when they come home late at night, particularly the woman who is screeching down the phone in another language (I think they are Pakistani) and are just very loud in general.
Anyway, whenever I wanted to do my washing, the laundry was always full of their stuff. I would go back at another time and it would still be there. They seem to fill up the washing machine, put it on a 3 hour cycle, leave it there for a couple of days, then top it off with more stuff and run it through again. This can go on for a whole week. I tried knocking on their door a few times but they didn't answer. In the end I got fed up and removed the clothing myself, and just put it in a basket next to the machine. I did this a couple of times. Then one morning I heard her go in the laundry room, scream in anger and kick something, then she came knocking on my door. I didn't answer straight away (was in the middle of something) then she started banging on all the windows until I answered.
She proceed to yell at me how dare I touch her washing, I'm always messing with her stuff, she never had any problem with anyone before I "showed" up.
She was extremely threatening in her voice and gestures (she waving her fists around), I felt shocked and just awful.
I said that I needed to do my washing too, and that I don't think she should take that tone with me. I asked her when had she put that stuff in the machine (knowing it had been sitting there for 3 days) She went all flustered for a moment then said OH! I think I put it in last night (lies). She said she needed to soak her clothes for at least 12 hours. I told her if she wants to do that she can use a bucket so she's not occupying the machine but she didn't respond, she just continued shouting at me and said "Don't you dare, EVER, touch my things again!" and stormed off.
After this I was in tears and called my DH. We spoke to our landlord that day and relayed everything. He said he's aware she does this as he's seen her stuff left in there, and that the tenants before had the same problem with her.
Anyway, in the end our landlord send her a message about it, and she replied saying it must be our stuff, it wasn't her!
My husband went to speak with her husband and he just said he didn't know anything about it, which I know isn't true.
It's not even about having such restricted access to the washing machine anymore, its their behaviour.
I keep thinking - maybe I was wrong to remove their laundry from the machine - I know it's not the most pleasant thing having someone else touch your stuff. But I feel like her reaction and lies were uncalled for.
I do not feel at peace here anymore, I dread seeing them and every time I hear them I tense up.
Do you think I was in the wrong as well? What should I do now?

The issue isn't whether or not you have your own washing machine - you have the facility supplied with the house, which you are entitled to use.

You are absolutely right to remove her washing when it's finished. If she complains about you touching her things say (preferably coldly) that you'd rather not, and will only do so if you need to in order to use the machine. Point out that the best way for her to prevent you touching her things is to remove them promptly when the cycle is finished. Then ignore her.

As PP said, you may need to film her if she gets unpleasant. If she objects, again point out that you won't film if she treats you with respect.

Try really hard not to let it upset you. As you can see on MN, there are unreasonable people everywhere; you can rarely alter their behaviour, but you can alter your response to it. (However hard that can be.)

Get some black bin bags and use one to put her clothes in every time. Prepare to be assertive when she complains. I’d be furious if I were you.

I had neighbours like this, I eventually moved they were horrendous!

The problem with the Pakistani comment (as opposed to the extraneous information about age) is the dog whistle racism. It speaks to the prejudiced about the reasons behind the neighbour's behaviour and prompts a certain response.

Please stop talking bollocks Zampa 👍👍

croprotation Zampa is 100% right.

And your comment, that OP should tell her husband to beat her up, says it all. Disgusting thread.

She must be completely filling the machine with mould.

You shouldn’t have to but if your not feeling able to stand up to her, Have you a launderette near you? I used to use one, they were quite reasonable, take a book and get it washed and dryed in one go. The machines are huge and quick.

Just keep putting her washing in a clean basket and keep a record of how long she's left it in there. She's a bully. Bullies often back down when stood up to. Good luck!

Speak to the LL and get him to make a clear rule about this, with a note up about it too, as a reminder. You could tell him that, failing that, you will need a rent reduction to cover the cost of going to a launderette.

Please don't give in to this woman's bullying - you will just be enforcing that that works for her.

You can rent washing machines for about £10-15 a month. Sounds like it might be easier than putting up with her. Otherwise, maybe a rota system? Also in the short term you get your first wash free with a service like Laundrapp.

She is batshit. Don’t be intimidated.

I lived in a building where 16 flats shared a laundry (several machines) we all rubbed along so nicely. You put your stuff in and leave your clean basket in front of it and if the cycle had stopped the next person would remove the stuff.