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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In not giving SIL a lift

47 replies

isthisfair · 21/07/2007 14:32

Am a regular but namechanger as I know people on here.

SIL has two interviews for jobs next week. He car is out of action and she has asked me to drive her to both places. DDs will stay with gps.

The interview are in a part of town I am unfamiliar with and I am not a confident driver. She thinks we will be fine with her TomTom.

She can use public transport but it will be tight as interviews are close together.

She has an awful lot on her plate ATM and I would, and usually do, help her out whenever she needs but I am reluctant to do this as I had an accident recently and have become very cautious.

OP posts:
moondog · 21/07/2007 14:34

YABU
Help her out you miserable sod.

SSSandy2 · 21/07/2007 14:34

could she not get a taxi from one interview to the next so she gets there on time?

cornsilk · 21/07/2007 14:34

Give her a lift!

NAB3 · 21/07/2007 14:35

Could she drive your car?

SSSandy2 · 21/07/2007 14:35

but if she doesn't feel SAFE driving?

NAB3 · 21/07/2007 14:35

See it as a way of regaining your confidence.

belgo · 21/07/2007 14:36

Could you go for a practise run this weekend with someone to help you become familiar with the route?

SSSandy2 · 21/07/2007 14:39

Are you driving much at all at the moment?

Think belgo's suggestion is really good.

MrsScavo · 21/07/2007 14:39

I think you need to regain your confidence -and this will be a great way to do it. You will have the tom tom. I think you should help her, or be very honest why you're not helping her, as she might think you're being 'off'. Could you lend her your car?

Original poster
isthisfair · 21/07/2007 14:40

Oh no so it looks like IABU, I'll have to give her a call. Thanks for all your input - you are all definitely much nicer than me.

SSSandy she probably could get a taxi. Also it is in a very busy part of town, not sure what parking situation will be, and I cannot parallel park.

Felt really bad when I turned her down .

OP posts:
Original poster
isthisfair · 21/07/2007 14:41

I am just basically doing the school run, shops and MIls and my mum's.

Her insurance doesn't cover driving my car, plus I don't think she would want to.

OP posts:
AngharadGoldenhand · 21/07/2007 14:49

YANBU and certainly not miserable! I would be equally uncertain.

A taxi between interviews is the best way forward imo.

Original poster
isthisfair · 21/07/2007 15:13

thanks AngharadGoldenHand. I will offer to help but not be too eager and see what she says. I did explain to her all about why I didn't want to. Originally I was going to sit in the car while she drove.

OP posts:
helenhismadwife · 21/07/2007 16:41

I can really sympathise with you Im not a very confident driver and never like driving in places I dont know especially busy places but it never seems as bad when you have someone else in the car with you, it might help you to feel more confident as well as help your sil out if you can do it

DrNortherner · 21/07/2007 17:01

You are not good at parallel parking cause you shy away from doing it. Will you only drive to places if yiou know the route?

You need to do this, with SIL in the car it will be maoral support.

belgo · 21/07/2007 17:05

it might stress her sil out even more if she's in a car with a nervous driver. The sil will have two job interviews - she needs to be calm and not worrying about parallel parking.

PotterCandles · 21/07/2007 17:06

Yes YABU. You should help her for two reasons (a) for her, because you can, and (b) for yourself, because you must. You need to rebuild your confidence and the only way to do this is to get into the car and drive.

MadeyeMoodyHare · 21/07/2007 17:10

Practice run, then give her the lift. You are being a bit pappy if you dont make the effort I think.

Original poster
isthisfair · 21/07/2007 18:45

thanks everyone, well I called and said i was happy to do it but she's saying she'll take the tube. I am going over there tomorrow so I'll offer again. Sounds like she minded my refusal.

OP posts:
Blu · 21/07/2007 18:50

It's a place the tube goes to? During working hours? Would this be in Central London, then? If so i definitely wouldn't give her a lift!
It does sound as if it would be good to get in some practice at driving in less fmiliar areas, but with SIL under a deadline for a job interview, SIL nervy about job interview doesn't sound like relaxing reassuring conditions fro getting your confidence up.

But you do need to get your confidence up - you can't go around not beng able to parallel park all your life!

MrsScavo · 21/07/2007 22:16

I'm afraid the only way to parallel park it through practice. If the interviews are in central London, she is being unreasonable. If the interviews are futher out, you need to explain your anxienty to her, to avoid hard feeling.

Original poster
isthisfair · 22/07/2007 00:43

just got back, yes it is fairly central - but more north. I'm not sure if the C-charge applies there.

OP posts:
ladygrinningsoul · 22/07/2007 19:08

Tell her you are really anxious about driving in a part of town you don't know, very worried about the parking but most of all afraid that you would let her down by not getting her to the interviews on time.

Original poster
isthisfair · 22/07/2007 19:21

ladygrinningsoul I did sort of say all that to her and she went very quiet and said she would just not get a job .

Anyway, saw her today and after reading everyone's replies yesterday realised I was being a bit of a doofus so I really sincerely said it would be OK, I would sit in a caf and read papers while she went for the interviews. The other thing is she didn't have the addresses to hand and I said if she gave me the addresses I could check out the route and see how complex it looked.

I think I have done my best now and offered. She said she will check the distance between both places and let me know.

OP posts:
coddy · 22/07/2007 19:30

yabtu