To think Iv completely ruined my body and won’t ever fix it

[MummyCool19]

I’m feel mega depressed lately. Iv always been fat, from the age of 7/8. I was wearing adult size 14 at 10/11. And constantly gone up from there. Age 17 I had my first child which I piled even more weight on. I started playing he Cambridge diet when she was 7 weeks old and ended up doing it every single year for the past 10 years. Losing it and piling it back on.

In December I started weight watchers. I have never done a “normal” diet. I have lost 4 stone and roughly 4/5 stone to go. I am loving how my shape is coming along BUT I have a body of a 80 year old. My arms are so saggy, like when I lift it up I can see where my arm should be then skin/fat hanging off. I have lipodemia so my legs are huge (although losing a inches it will start to slow down). Surgery for my legs is £10k per op.

I have a saggy stomach. It feels heavy and I can actually lift it, not just abit of saggy skin.

I feel so ugly. I’m 28 and I can’t wear sleeveless tops, or go without leggings/jeans/tights.

Even my neck is saggy ffs!!!

Iv completely ruined my body. Iv been having therapy to cope with the food addiction and I can finally say I feel 80% in control.

I feel like this is my final shot, but wtf do I do?! There is no way I will be able to afford surgery unless we come into some money. I look at women my age who look amazing, and I feel a pang if jealousy.

I resent my parents for allowing me to eat so much shit as a young child to make me like this. I mean if you start your life eating crap until you are old enough to know better, it’s hard to change habit/addiction.

I’m so fed up.

Your body won't always look like it does now. It does take longer for your skin to adjust to a smaller size, but it will do. Your body is not ruined. It is learning to function differently again, but bodies are resilient. It will recover.

Get down the gym and start weights. You will be amazed at how much you can change your shape and tone over time. Muscle will fill out some of the skin. You are young enough to fix it with determination over a long time. Good luck.

There are some good Facebook groups out there which I find particularly supportive and helpful e.g. Syns R Us chat and Slimming World with Aldi - among others.

If it's helpful, I find it motivating to see the before and after photos that people post, similar issues that you mention (and I am also dealing with).

I am quietly astonished also to see the physical changes, the number of people who look like they have had at least a blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery), they haven’t, it’s just that the above eye fat pads disappear, many of the faces look so “fresh”, the changes in facial features are inspiring and motivating - not to mention the body changes - which encourage me to continue on.

I found swimming is one way I can keep on top of oedema in my heavy legs - quite successfully - if I keep it up.

Exercise is the answer. Gym, cycling, anything really.

You aren’t less valuable or worthwhile or worthy of respect because you have lose skin. Whatever else, try to hold on to that.

I have no advice but I just wanted to say WELL DONE on your 4st weightloss!! That's a brilliant achievement, and I wish you all the best going forward.

Intermittent fasting can deal with skin issues. I use it as part of weight loss though, so no idea if it will work on already loose skin. It probably doesn’t fall well into the WW model.

(I’m 41, have lost almost 4 stone low carbing/16:8ing and have no loose skin)

Weight train. Drink water. Swim. Increase your calories to support muscle gain. Eventually you will see what can be tightened and toned and what can’t be.

Good shapeware is what you need. Building muscle will help but you will still have lose skin, just have to come to terms and get over it really.

Concentrate on how much healthier you are.

Iv always been big because my mum fed us large portions, but id never blame her once I became an adult I learnt not to let myself get over a certain weight even thought I still binge eat just focus on the fact you are getting healthier for DC xx

This happened to my friend. She was very overweight, got healthy, but had horrendous loose skin. It was wrinkly like crêpe paper and she had to tuck her stomach folds into her underwear. She became anorexic trying to slim down her legs and stomach, but it obviously didn't work as it was loose skin adding the bulk and not body fat. She joined an NHS waiting list for surgery. You have to have maintained a constant weight for so many years, and you have to have medical need for it. She was basically told she could go on the list but not to count on it ever happening. Eventually, she got into crossfit. The muscle she has built hides the worst of the loose skin, whilst allowing her to look fit and healthy. Her arms don't look saggy as they are thicker with muscle. Same for her thighs. The abs are harder to deal with, but stomach or boobs are something you can save up for if you really feel you need the surgery.

Well done on losing the weight. That’s a difficult thing to do. You should feel proud. The body will come back eventually.

Just a thought but could you speak with your doctor about nhs surgery? Once you have got down to your optimum weight you would be able to show how hard you had worked to change your life as is and the fact that you've done all you can + you feel really down about your body + it is affecting your life...maybe they would agree to do the leg surgery at least (personally I think i'd feel better as a tax payer supporting that than supporting someone obease getting a gastric band when they haven't even bothered to try to diet first).

The excess skin you could save up for yourself, it might take time but just put money away little by little and it will all add up in time. Or if you have lots of aquaintances maybe a go-fund-me page would help?

Either way, well done on doing so well losing the weight. You are only 28 so whilst I agree with posters about shapewear ect, I wouldn't give up on the surgery ideas just yet if you feel you need it.

Well done you. You should be so proud of yourself.. I think you should swim, swim swim. It has great toning effects, but also, just regularly being in bathers helps with self consciousness.
I know you think you look terrible, bu you are still young. Exercise can help a lot. Please celebrate your achievement and move forwards.
And save for surgery if you really need it after thorough toning.

When I started at the gym I was told that if you loose lots of weight quickly I.E. gastric surgery the body can't cope and you will have lots of flappy skin.

That's why it's much better to loose the weight slowly to allow your body to keep up with it and to allow muscle to take the place of the fat you're loosing, so you have less flappy skin.

Also at your age your skin will still have the collagen and elasticity to help tighten some of it up.

Congratulations on your weight loss. I agree with this that have said swimming will help and some work with weights. Your GP may be able to give you a pass for your local leisure centre, I know ours do for those who have mental health issues or dealing with obesity. Don't be down on yourself, be proud!

When I started at the gym I was told that if you loose lots of weight quickly I.E. gastric surgery the body can't cope and you will have lots of flappy skin

This is not true. Losing weight slowly doesn’t somehow increase the skins elasticity.

I would also say that swimming is a really good idea. Also as others have said keep your loss gradual so your body can adjust as you go along. Above all though Congratulations on all the progress you have made already 😃

Well done on your amazing weight loss so far - keep going!

@mummycool19 Well done for losing the weight. You might be unhappy with how you are but honestly I am so jealous, I started overeating as a child and now a very obese woman. I have no motivation to lose weight either. I am so pleased you're losing weight, and the health benefits I'm sure must outweigh the hatred of the excess skin. You've done the hard bit, getting motivated for losing weight, follow the advice from the other posters and I hope you'll be much happier in years to come

Definitely agree about exercise, that will really help your arms and back too. Your weight loss is amazing! you are a real inspiration to others who have struggled with childhood obesity and having to fight every day of their adult lives to loose weight, thinking about their weight, everything you have done so far takes so much strength and you should be so so proud.

On the stomach issue I do think from what I know that this is the thing that will be almost impossible to get rid of though.

My friend had the same problems as you after weight loss and did a tummy tuck which cost 5000, she did an interest free re payment and it gave her so much confidence, she really didn't care so much about her loose skin elsewhere after that as her shape just looked so amazing without that overhang in her middle.

Combined with exercise and the weightloss this is probably the best thing for you, there is information on nhs website for it

Stop thinking of diets

Start thinking of this is my lifestyle

Miles better in the long run and will stop the yo-yoing weight

Well done. Remember you are not just doing this for you, you are doing it for your children, firstly so that they will learn about a healthy lifestyle and secondly so they will have a parent who lives beyond 40, who will see them grow up fit ,healthy and body confident, who will be a loving granny to their children and possibly to their children too.

Please stop suggesting other diest.

OP has found one that works for her and ecuates her as to 'normal' portion sizes.

Over the long term she will need suport to kee that up as a lifestyle, not as an ongoing diet, a restrictin. So new versions aren't going to be any good whatsoever!

OP. Concentrate on getting down to a healthy wieght and then working on how to maintain it, forever. The loose skin will either go a lot, a little bit or not at all. You'll only know when you get there. At which point you start talkig to your GP in more detail.

You are far better off at a healthy weight with loose skin than fat without it. Keep up with the therapy until you know that is the truth.

Good luck

OP I doubt many people here have an understanding of Lipoedema so the advice you get won't take it into account. My best friend has it and had the surgeries you're talking about so I do get it. They've transformed her life.

Do you have EDS? I think a lot of loose skin after just 4 stones of weight loss indicates you might. Are you in any Lipoedema support groups - there are two or three really good ones on FB where people understand the devastation of living with this condition who can offer emotional support. One is called Lipoedema Ladies I think and the other is Talk Lipoedema.

Have you considered a fundraising page for the surgeries? It isn't fair the NHS won't fund the surgery when it's a medical condition and not obesity but so few people do have it funded, it's worth looking into other options. My friend says there are other surgeons who can do the ops for £3-6k but they obviously take less lipoedema away. But it still improves your quality of life and mobility. Again some surgeons do skin removal more cheaply too and it makes a big difference in how people feel. My friend is still waiting for her skin removal but I can see how much it means to her.

I don't have any answers beyond that but shapewear makes me feel like a different person, and generally I think the less focus you can put on your body the better. You will have many good qualities and talents beyond your appearance so try to develop those. Lots and lots of people have very imperfect bodies, especially nowadays. I know I do.

But for you. It must be horrible feeling bad about how you look when you can't just keep losing weight like everyone else.