to think chavy, tacky hen parties should SOD off [Edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

[CannoninD]

I’m fed up.
I’ve lived in my beautiful, respectful and historic city my entire life .... but over the last year it’s been invaded by GOD AWFUL hen parties!

20+ strong groups of horrifically common (referring to behaviour not social class) women who inflict their horrific behaviour on everybody within reach.

They’re EVERYWHERE and I know it’s not just me as there are sunbstantial concerns being raised by residents all over the city.

I counted 23 large groups this weekend (I only walked into the (small ish) city centre on Saturday morning and witnessed the following behaviour-

• Loud swearing (F and C word) right in front of/across young families and children just trying to enjoy a day out.
• Shop doors slammed in elderly shoppers faces (too busy pratting around to pay any attention).
• Stock being damaged by pratting about (and then hidden) to avoid paying.
• Horrifically vulgar and inappropriate content being loudly discussed in family areas (a garden/park area) to the point that families got up and left.
• Completely inappropriate Lingerie being worn in the street (before 2pm).
• Vomiting in the street! Whilst being jeered by the rest of the group.

Personally I would rather bleach out my own eyes than go on a hen do like this- but honestly at what point do we just call the police on these ridiculous idiots inflicting such unreasonable behaviour on families and regular people? What’s worse is, I bet back home they’re perfectly normal women. They just all get together and come away from home and behave like total arseholes!

Being in a large group and celebrating an event- does not give you a hall pass to behave like scum. 😡

Love the question what exactly is common behaviour when the op described it in detail.

On a serious note, how go you stop this?

I'm not convinced Police have to resources to deal with the sheer volume of poor behaviour.

Tougher restrictions on licensing from the council?

Local residents videoing offenders to shame online?

Pressure on businesses not to serve hen/stag parties?

For all those people saying I'll give York a miss now, I think to be fair there are particular parts of York that are favoured by the pissheads. The areas where the lovely restaurants and nicer bars are, are probably a better bet, are more likely to have a door policy, and less likely to be thronged by massive groups of drunken idiots. York has always had its seedier side, but you can avoid the stag and hen 'runs' and hopefully be less exposed to the fuckwittery. So please don't write it off!

@ethel

Whilst I ‘get’ what you’re saying. It’s a TINY city, you can walk across the centre in 10-15 minutes. Yes there are some areas ‘less’ popular with large groups but if you go out on a Friday/Saturday or bank holiday you won’t avoid them.

Unless you literally walk to a very selective restaurant and walk straight home (avoiding all main streets) you will cross paths- 😒 Trust me...we’ve tried that!

On Mumsnet "snob" = having basic standards of behaviour and respect for others.

I'm from a council house in Blackpool, as working class as it gets, and the women on these hen dos behave in a vulgar, crass manner. Therefore they are "common" . It is everything to do with an attitude which is totally without care for anyone besides themselves.

That's not a thing about being poor or being working class or being on benefits. Most people in those scenarios have self respect and respect for others. It's about them being chavs.

GibbonLover - you know about the Miss Mary of Sweden corselette range?! My mum used to wear them and I bought her many for Christmas and Mothers Day!

Sorry to derail - just amazed anyone has ever heard of them!

I think they will/are writing it off Ethel and tbh I understand why.

In my first post I explained we were there at 3/4pm.

We were down the big square near M&S and the street with Boots (sorry don't know the street names) as I wanted to get some shopping.

So basically the main shopping area.

That's where we encountered this behaviour.

Walking back through the museum gardens to where we'd parked there were more gangs of hen/stags sat on the grass behaving anti socially making it impossible to enjoy the beautiful setting.

We left without spending anything and as I said eating at a pub on the outskirts whereas previously we'd have contributed quite a heathy amount to the city economy.

I love York and have visited many times but the situation really seems out of control and I find it very sad because I know it is a fantastic city but it's being plagued by this phenomenon.

I'd also add there does seem to be a trait that these parties are coming from a specific area - the accents were very noticeable (and not local).

I have heard of Miss Mary of Sweden, they used to be in my mum's Kays catalogue!

OP, yanbu. Nor do you sound horrible or snobbish at all.

YANBU. I wonder if we live in the same place. It is just horrible here now on Saturdays. One group were kicking a massive inflatable penis along the street while shrieking and screaming. So many young kids out and about.

It’s York nightmare123

If disapproving of that behaviour and those who carry it out makes me a snob, so be it.

Well said, I am proud to be classed as a snob if this is the criteria. It's a bit like the pub quiz, there is a wide body of knowledge, pop lyrics, soaps, reality TV etc., that I am proud not to have!

It’s not a class thing but a behaviour thing. A group of hooray Henry extremely posh public school late teen kids visited a remote hotel we stayed at once. Everyone in the hotel vacated for the day. They ruined the pool area with their loud obnoxious behaviour.

Yep I see what you're saying @CannoninD, though I don't know if you get that to an extent in any city, big or small🤷🏻‍♀️. I guess though that it's the extent to which it impacts on the city centre which is the issue here. I've lived here a long time, and I do definitely think it's worse than it was - we do generally avoid the centre at weekends, both due to it being too busy, and also the stag/hen effect, but it wouldn't stop me going if I had something specific to go to...

I know the police are trying hard to crack down on this behaviour both through policing and through things like the planning process (objecting to all changes of use from another purpose into bars) but their resources are limited.

I also thought York when I read the OP. It's such a lovely city, but it does seem to be getting more than it's fair share of stag and hen dos. We don't really visit any more, and definitely try to leave before 3 or 4pm if we do.

To be far, I did visit York with the children the Christmas before last and didn't encounter anything undesirable although there were lots of smokers and the use of beef dripping is unfathomable. We loved it. I visited as a child in the 80s on a school trip and wanted to take the children there.

A lot of places have been spoilt by loutish behaviour. Train journeys too.

It’s not a class thing but a behaviour thing. A group of hooray Henry extremely posh public school late teen kids visited a remote hotel we stayed at once. Everyone in the hotel vacated for the day. They ruined the pool area with their loud obnoxious behaviour.
It is a class thing though.
The hooray Henry types are almost always upper middle to upper class and behave with an aloof arrogance of being better than anyone else and zero respect for anyone considered to be beneath them.

The 2pm drunk hens with plastic willies are almost always a chavvy sub group of working class to lower middle class who think getting pissed on prosecco at 10am makes it a classy affair. Their antisocial loutish behaviour is in keeping with how they behave on a standard Saturday night.

Not all upper middle/upper class people are hooray henrys but it is a class thing.
Not all working class people are chavvy but there is a class element.

Could the obsession with excess also be to do with social media? Firstly people copying and wanting to out do others and also the fact that you know that “Steph’s hen do” with have its own album on FB with 50 pictures and the participants know they’ll be on SM so that motivates them to be the craziest. People are so attention seeking nowadays.

Do you live in Bath by any chance?!?
☹️ That was my immediate thought too!

My first thought was Bath too

What a nightmare. I live in a historic city but the stag and hens only really emerge after 8 (or if they come out earlier they behave like civilised adults and I don't notice them). We usually see them heading out as we're heading back to the station after dinner out. I can't imagine having to endure it in the middle of the day.

I think on the spot fines would be great if it was workable.

The arrogant so called upper class are as chavvy as the working class louts. They have a lot in common. There are studies about how alike they are - treating service staff badly, no concern for others, bad language, no manners, think rules don’t apply to them, rough, common and chavvy about money always arguing about what to pay!

I'm disappointed to hear bath is bad for this - I visited last year (not at a weekend) and it was just gorgeous.

@copenhagen class here has nothing to do with social class but class of behaviour. Most working class people (just like any class of people) behave in a considerate, civilised manner.

YANBU