AIBU to not wear a bra to a wedding

[FriedFishFacial]

I’m a guest at a in a few weeks and the dress I’m planning to wear has gaps in the back that mean a normal bra would be visible. At the front the dress has a high neckline and sleeves so all very covered up. I wasn’t planning to wear a bra, but I showed DP the dress on yesterday and he said he thought I should wear one. I could get one of those stick on ones, but I’m not convinced they’re very effective. I’m a D cup but quite pert. Obviously breasts wobble but I’d be completely covered at the front and the dress isn’t see through or anything. What do you think? Is it rude in some way not to wear a bra to a wedding?

Have you seen these OP?

You can also get a bra with a clear back strap

Those stick on cups are actually very effective. You don’t have to wear one of your don’t want to but aesthetically most people with normal/largebreasts would benefit. Thesticky cups give your breasts a better shape for more clothes and prevent undue wobbling. Also bare in mind that your breasts will slightly change shape while wearing a bra so your breast shape 5 min post bra will be very different to 5 hours post bra.

D cup is not large, if you measure by bra intervention method.

It I'd still wear a stick-on/use tit tape, as it's vanishingly unlikely that a dress such as the one you describe will look good without a well scaffolded bust (they can sometimes look fine in pictures, but never do in motion)

NB: this is about S&B aspects. If someone prefers to avoid wearing bra, no so rarely/never does, then that is absolutely fine. That does not however sound like OPs situation

A friend of mine had advice on this matter from a specialist bra shop. Basically above C cup you need a bra and there is no solution to a backless dress other than a boob job. Perhaps a low Criss cross would work but the back strap is the support in any bra.

Your boyfriend has seen it and therefore given better feedback than we could.

But based on cup size it’s a no from me.

If you were an A or B cup then I would say to for ir. Any bigger then no.

I am an E cup and went to a rave last weekend in a backless plunge top. I can highly recommend the Bye Bra Perfect Cleavage which kept my boobs in place throughout 9 hours of dancing. they come with nipple daisies too in case of chill.

If you weren't going to be conscious of 'em before, you are now.

Assuming your DP is a decent guy and not a jerk, I would imagine he's recommending a bra for a reason.

No definitely not. Wait until you are dancing around, people will stare at you for the wrong reasons, and what they will say after won’t be flattering. Spare yourself that shame. By a decent dress that you can wear a supportive bra under. I had ‘pert’ D cups in my teens, I have a photo of me in a backless dress🙈I thought I looked good in the mirror, the photos tell a whole different story.

As long as you aren't going topless I think you'll be fine!

It looks sloppy and wobbly.

The horror.

I was a double D for my wedding and I worse a backless dress. I got some cups sewn into it very cheaply by a seamstress. That's always a good option and probably cheaper than buying an uncomfortable stick on bra and worrying about it slipping all day.
I miss my pre-baby boobs.

D cups are never as pert as you think they are. Trust your DH. He’s seen you in the dress without a bra and didn’t like it.

Thanks very much for the replies! I hadn’t expected so many people to think it would be inappropriate or attention seeking, or that everyone would notice, but that’s really good to know. I’ll try and get a stick on, I think low back ones might not work as it’s not that it’s low it’s that there are gaps so might still be visible. Clear back strap also a good idea.
Yep you’re probably right about following DPs opinion given he’s seen it. He said they might wobble around dancing etc, which wouldn’t bother me, but I wouldn’t want to embarrass him. I’ve just never noticed whether anyone else didn’t wear a bra at a similar event- which is maybe because everyone does!

as others have pointed out your age isn't really that extreme at all, particularly in your husband's case, 38 is nothing at all to bat an eyelid at.

the gap is more of a worry to me, you'd effectively be bringing up an only child. maybe a bit tedious to someone who's already 'done' parenting.

apologies, i'm an idiot.

D cup means nothing without the band

Exactly. I'm a 28FF/G and frequently go braless. It isn't obvious at all and I'm certainly not going to beat myself to death dancing.

Try it on, dance about while filming yourself - then decide.

I wore a jump suit with a high neck, no sleeves but sort of gaping at the back. I didn't wear a bra but wore stick on nipple covers for a smoother look. I am very small of nork though.

Eee I often don't wear a bra - what's the issue if it's fitted and you can't see nipple?

I'm a DD and I bought one of those cross over at the back no back bras. It's really supportive and does up at waist level.

I’m a 34D and never wear a bra. Do what makes you feel comfortable and how you feel you will look your best.

Also a 34DD and rarely wear a bra under dresses or going out clothes, didn't realise it was so attention seeking

I would get nipple covers to prevent stiff nips and think nothing more about it

A relative of mine came to a family wedding and one of the main things people mention when they reminisce about the wedding is her dress. Years later.