I'm worried about how some people lose their temper at nothing!!

[Passtherioja]

I'm concerned that so many people are far too stressed and flipping out at the tiniest things! It can't be healthy...and if they're responding like that in public what on earth is going on at home!!

I could give loads of examples over the years of seeing people screaming at pensioners in car parks for reversing too slowly, major road rage, screaming at their children in the supermarket (I don't mean telling them off or shouting-I mean majorly losing their shit with them!!)

Now I'm no saint, I'm not expecting everyone to go round grinning at everyone but I'm on about adults having complete meltdowns!

Yesterday a "lady" rolled down her window and screamed abuse at me because apparently I'd given her "a filthy fucking look!"... I have no idea who she was, where I'd passed her or what she was on about.... I was on the way to pick up a take away and was considering buying a bottle of red so she might have mistaken my "should I buy wine?" face for looking at her 🤔🍷

It's just not healthy...what is going on??

A couple of years ago I was walking along a main road, minding my own business. It was a hot sunny day and I didn't have sunglasses on so was squinting a bit as I turned into a side street. A woman who'd been walking in the opposite direction hissed angrily in my direction 'why don't you just stop making that face at me and say what you want to say' before walking off.

I was as I hadn't even noticed her walking along - she must have thought me squinting was in some way related to her. Bizarre how people can get so worked up over nothing at all! Not to mention people's road rage...tail-gating, yelling and aggressive overtaking all seem to be common occurrences.

I was crossing a road near where I live and a car was coming towards me, so I stopped on the kerb to let him pass. He was driving very slowly, but I didn't give it any thought until he was opposite me and he shouted out of the window "stupid whore", presumably because he was driving slowly to let me cross. However, my ESP wasn't switched on that day and he hadn't waved me on. The thing that made me laugh was calling me a "stupid whore" - so many more age-appropriate insults he should have used! I'm 63!

My DD and I had a break in a small European city last week and one thing that really stood out to us was that we saw no angry people! We actually both commented on it and how nice it was. Our hotel balcony overlooked one of the streets leading into town and we saw people on their way to work, just casually strolling, no aggro. People were smiley and there was just a calm about the place.

We came back to London and got the tube home, straight away we saw people arguing, getting shirty and looking miserable. It was a real come down!

I have dual citizenship (although always lived in the UK) and I am seriously considering retiring to my mum's much more peaceful home country. I think modern life does play a part but go somewhere like Tokyo, a hugely busy modern city, and you don't see all the problems you get here. So there are major societal issues too.

It’s basically a case of people who haven’t matured into adulthood. Toddlers and young children throw tantrums because they can’t control their emotions. A fully grown adult should have learnt self-control in order to function in an adult world.

Sometimes, though, it’s not uncontrolled at all. It can be deliberate intimidation; these people are perfectly capable of controlling their rage when they’re at work.

I hate going into town as there's loads of street drinkers and drug addicts hanging around in their nasty little bubbles, falling out with each other and effing and blinding all over the place. I always fear that anything could be percieved as an insult by them.

The worst thing I saw was about 15 years ago in a busy shoe shop. A heavily pregnant woman politely asked a boy probably about 8 years old, to move off the seat. He obliged and she got on with trying on the shoes. The boy's mother comes up and unleashed a lengthy, foul mouthed verbal tirade at the pregnant woman, how dare she fucking speak to her son, she's not his fucking mother type rubbish. The shop fell into stunned silence, and it was too sudden to be able to contemplate a response, and it wouldn't have surprised me if she had decked anyone trying to intervene. Fortunately she stormed off with the son. Meanwhile the pregnant woman's husband was stood nearby being totally bewildered with a toddler in a buggy and his white stick.

I hope that boy did not learn to copy his mother's "manners".

That was too long ago to be the social media age, but there are a lot of disproportionately outraged keyboard warriors out there. The comments section of my local paper keeps them frothing away on a regular basis.

When I think of the numbers of disproportionately angry and sensitive teenagers I've taught as they approach the end of their education, there are a lot out there that don't mature much beyond that point. Depressing.

I stick to theraputic muttering and gurning to vent my petty frustrations

Elly - post that footage on social media, preferably his club's

The police are dealing with it at the moment, if they don’t get anywhere I will.

They are taking it seriously, chucking a bike at an already wound up pony is spectacularly stupid and bloody dangerous - he or DD could have been killed. DD dealt with it amazingly well, although she burst into tears and couldn’t stop shaking when we got to the yard.

I was in a pub one night with some friends, it was fairly busy. On my way back from the bar, I was squeezing past some other people sitting at a table and accidentally knocked a jacket from the back of someone's chair.

I bent to pick it up and put it back, but the guy who owned it went ballistic at me. Really screaming at me, accusing me of trying to steal his coat. The whole place went silent whilst he ranted on and on until he ran out of steam.

I was so shocked, I just sat back down and said nothing, thankfully my equally shocked friends were comforting.

As we left, I just leaned over to him and said something like "you really shouldn't do that to people, that was horrible. One day you might pick on the wrong person and someone will really lamp you one."

Amazingly, he DID apologise. I suspect cocaine may have been a factor.

I'm not sure whether it's worse or better than any other time in history but I do agree a lot of people are unpleasant. I'm always shocked by how entitled people are in the way that they expect people to just pick up after them (like they get drunk and vomit all over the town centre, throw their litter everywhere etc.) and the way people talk to waiters, bar and shop staff and those working in the public sector. It's like they think they're so much better than them and they can talk however they like. I agree with whoever it was that said it's not a 'youth problem' though, often older people are just as bad if not worse.

For the ppl who mentioned the MAMILs and the story with her daughter and the pony, I have found some male cyclists to be very aggressive on shared paths/roads and tbh it leads me to avoid certain places as a pedestrian.

*PP

I agree people can be horrible. In public and almost worse on social media. I don't understand why the need to be so horrible!?🤷‍♀️

I had a woman tear me off a strip.

She had stopped her car, and her child had immediately pushed open the car door straight onto my legs, as I was walking past on the pavement.

Apparently the look of pain on my face had upset her child.

I was too shocked and in pain to say anything.

I used to be an NHS nurse. The way some patients and relatives speak to staff is shocking. I think some of the public are of the view that they own NHS staff! I had a chair thrown at me by a teenage girl as I wouldn’t give her antibiotics.

So glad I don’t have to deal with the public now. It’s bad enough going into town and seeing some delightful people hanging around.

Agree that this country is more angry, like an out of control, hot anger but more artificially polite than some others.

I’ve lived in Spain I’d say they are more blunt and less effusive but then English has more words than Spanish and we tend to over do everything eg “would you mind terribly passing the salt thank you so much sorry” whereas a Spaniard would just say “pass the salt” in the formal form of the verb or maybe even just “the salt”. They’re also quite loud and sound like they are arguing when they’re not and it’s very English to apologise for everything-other countries don’t do that.

The worst one that ever happened to me was years ago when I was heavily pregnant with DD. I was 21 but looked about 16 (baby face), I was waiting in the queue for a bus and a very large (as in intimidating, not weight-wise) man in his 60’s-ish came up to the front of the queue from the other side and just stood there as people got on.

Everyone knows this is not how a queue works and I assumed he was just waiting there until people boarded the bus then he’d jump on last. There were several people in front and behind of me he must’ve already decided he would push in.

It was such a tightly squeezed queue I couldn’t have moved back or forward to “let” him in anyway, but he went to step in front of me and my very big baby belly blocked his way. I just carried on walking with the queue to get on the bus. He managed to shove in behind me and as I was getting up the step pushed me onto the bus! I was so shocked I just went “hey what are you doing!”

He burst out in a tirade of “f**king teenage mothers think you’re everything”, “stupid little slag”, “kids shouldn’t be getting pregnant”, “dole bum”, etc

I was hormonal and fuming but decided to be mature (and British) and sat there silently seething the whole bus journey. Unfortunately it turned out we had to get off at the same stop! When I got off I turned around and said “for your information I’m 21 and you should be disgusted in your behaviour” and flounced off the bus.

When he got off his shopping bag snapped and the contents fell all over the pavement —hello instant karma—. People were just walking past him and he was struggling to bend over so I sucked up my pride and went and helped him pick it all up.

He managed a thank you, but still didn’t say sorry! 😂 I’d like the think he learned a lesson about being nicer and not judging people coz I was the only one that bothered to help him... doubt it though

Sorry that was so long! And the cross out fail

Wow-so we've got people completely losing it with any driver who makes a slight mistake or hesitation, pregnant women, those of us who have squinting or thinking faces, blue badge holders, nhs workers, teachers, anyone working in a pub/bar restaurant... Jesus I wonder which areas are safe!!

One of my favourite "person lost their shit for no reason" stories kind of starts at the end...I was out with a friend as his plus 1 (platonic mate!) at rather a posh do. One of his friends, who appeared to be a bit if an entitled prick, was holding court and ribbing my friend about me ... so he says to me very loudly "You look familiar, I'm sure I've seen you before." At which point I reminded him equally loudly that "Yes, we've met-you called me a fucking bitch last week when I was working at the ** pub."

Not sure why his wife looked so shocked, she was with him when he said it to me...maybe she wasn't that keen on such a wide audience knowing what a twat he was!!

DH and I were talking about this after an incident at the weekend. DS(4) goes to a sports club on Saturday mornings. He's in a group of about 8 kids, with one leader. Two weeks ago, I dropped him off and the leader wasn't there because her granny had died. There was a different leader covering, all good.

On Saturday past, DH dropped him off, and got chatting to the original leader (said he was sorry to hear about her granny etc). She asked whether DS had been ok with the change of leader, and apologised for being off. DH said "don't apologise, it wasn't your fault".

It turned out she was apologising to all parents because, when she'd been off the week before, she'd received a number of abusive texts, saying things like "Where the hell are you?" and "My son was devastated you weren't there, how dare you?".

DH and I were stunned. Obviously 4 year olds can get upset at a change of leader, but these things happen! Don't know what they think the kids will do at school when the teacher is unexpectedly off sick!

@BelfastSmile - just goes to show how some people dehumanise those they feel are providing a service or are in their way. Shameful!!

What a nasty, ableist post. Anxiety disorder is a serious mental illness and has a massive impact on many people's lives. I can't just "go with the flow" because I am MENTALLY ILL so aggressive incidents like described above can leave me unable to leave my house for months, as well as the flare up of my chronic illness from the adrenaline.

And actually, I do care about people's meal plans and holidays, because they care. That's what mice people do.

*nice

@CrazyCatNerd ...I assume the post prior to your most recent one was exactly what we're all saying is inappropriate!! Take no notice, don't respond to them...no manners, no moral compass ...no need!!

I think that violence and rage seem to be on some level just a part of human nature. Some of us have a good sense of control, but without the right nurture it rises to the surface.

I say this because I read a lot of history books and a lot of biographies, plus my grandmother (1910s) had horrendously violent parents, and was abused by nuns at an orphanage. My grandfather had scars from a fight as a teen, despite being quite distinguished in later years. My dad’s family side is full of violent history. No social media there, so I really don’t feel like it’s a modern phenomenon.

@goingonabearhunt1 Ugh. Cyclists are the worst. I’ve been deliberately ridden into, yelled at, spat on, wolf whistled and otherwise harassed by those Lycra-clad weenies more times than I can count. All because I dared to walk on a shared path. Once I was in my car stopped at a traffic light when one smashed into me, putting a big dent in my car. I looked in the mirror to see what had happened which seemed to tip him over the edge and he launched a tirade of abuse at me for... not sure what. I was very young at the time and going through a very difficult time so did nothing but get very, very upset. If it happened now...

The other day I was at the park with my family throwing the ball for my dog. Beautiful clear day, sun shining, happy people everywhere. A cyclist riding past hurled abuse at me once again for having the dog off the lead, insisting it was “illegal”, despite clear signage to the contrary. My two-year-old and husband carried on with the dog. Had she not ridden off I would have given her a piece of my mind.

I’m not sure where the aggro comes from. If they convince themselves they’re superheroes because they are wearing Lycra or other delusions of grandeur, but there’s something curious going on in the minds of cyclists worthy of deeper research.