I'm worried about how some people lose their temper at nothing!!

[Passtherioja]

I'm concerned that so many people are far too stressed and flipping out at the tiniest things! It can't be healthy...and if they're responding like that in public what on earth is going on at home!!

I could give loads of examples over the years of seeing people screaming at pensioners in car parks for reversing too slowly, major road rage, screaming at their children in the supermarket (I don't mean telling them off or shouting-I mean majorly losing their shit with them!!)

Now I'm no saint, I'm not expecting everyone to go round grinning at everyone but I'm on about adults having complete meltdowns!

Yesterday a "lady" rolled down her window and screamed abuse at me because apparently I'd given her "a filthy fucking look!"... I have no idea who she was, where I'd passed her or what she was on about.... I was on the way to pick up a take away and was considering buying a bottle of red so she might have mistaken my "should I buy wine?" face for looking at her 🤔🍷

It's just not healthy...what is going on??

Ah, I see. Thanks for explaining @CrazyCatNerd

That poor man. Afflicted with such an extreme case of the wankers.

I think generally people are a lot more unforgiving and intolerant of other people. I never used to be like that at all, but recently I’ve found myself getting irritated by some of the selfish and entitled things that people do out and about, and I feel like it’s changing me, especially since I’ve had a child. I think “why should I be nice and tolerant when everyone out there just doesn’t give a crap about the feelings of others”.

The worst thing I’ve done I think is passively aggressively waving my hand to thank the driver in the front, when he/she hasn’t thanked me for me letting them in to a line of traffic. But I remember feeling shitty about it a few minutes later. People (including me) need to learn to ignore the initial red fog that they experience before reacting to something.

I was in the supermarket the other day and there were 3 ladies from one family musing over the cheeses. An elderly chap on his scooter was navigating his way down the aisle, couldn’t get quite past the ladies and their trolley, so beeped his horned. I must admit, I didn’t notice that the beeping was from his scooter at first, as supermarkets are noisy and there’s all sorts of background noise so you just zone out I suppose, which is what these 3 women must have done as well. Next thing you know, the man shouted really aggressively at the top of his voice “MOVE OUT MY F-ING WAY” such that the whole aisle heard it.
The ladies moved instantly and were immediately apologetic but you could tell as he drove past that their faces then turned to shock that somebody could shout at them so aggressively, just for being in his way. I completely get that must have been very frustrating for him that people are oblivious to his warning sign that he is approaching especially if it happens regularly, but is that ever an excuse for such an extreme reaction?

My extended family and friends contain some of the characters described on this thread.

There’s a direct link in the sample I encounter with intelligence levels.

I think it’s then exacerbated by lack of consequences. If you’ve got no job to lose, you’re not afraid of police and you won’t be thought less of by the people around you for your scummy behaviour, then why not lash out.

My dad is very similar. It's embarrassing and can be scary sometimes. He never used to be like it but now has a very short fuse. Ive left home, went back the weekend and was shocked at his anger towards everything. A car journey from home to my old work took 40mins and I got a lift off dad. He would shout / swear / threaten ,(and in a few cases almost cause car accidents) at least 10 times per journey.

We went to Asda on the way home on Saturday. Were stuck behind a carer pushing an old lady, and ok I suppose they were walking very slowly and we were in a rush. I carefully manoeuvred my way around, said excuse me politely and smiled at her when the carer apologised and said 'no need'. Dad was giving glares and continued doing so while saying 'for fucks sake you stupid cow' not at them directly but loudly and it was clear who it was about.

I did tell him as walking to the car. How rude that was, how there was no need, how it delayed us by what 2seconds and that the normal way to react isn't that. Didn't listen of course

I admit I can get angry sometimes. Especially on the bus. Once am elderly man was sat with his trolley(no issue) but kept it in the aisle blocking anyone from sitting and refused to move it. But I wouldn't shout or scream, just politely ask for it to be moved and stand there until it is.

My biggest bugbear ATM is tantrumming kids. I understand kids kick off and that's normal. Most parents distract them with Peppa pig or their phone or chocolate. I don't particularly care about parenting strategies while on the bus, I would like my ride to work to be relatively not stressful.

One day last week Theres a family on the bus. Small boy around 4 (in school uniform), a teenage girl around 13 (also I'm uniform) and someone who I assume is mum. The little boy is shouting and stomping over something, the sister is saying 'come on X calm doen' and trying to calm him, mum is on her phone (not talking, just texting or something). Not once during the 20min ride did mum actually try and stop the boy. I understand kids kick off but I think it's pretty rude to other passengers not to try and stop it.

Having said that again I wouldn't say anything. I'm far too British. Instead I just roll eyes discretely and tutt quietly

I know what you mean....I was at the supermarket the other day, getting my very heavy baby out of the car when a woman got into her car by the side of me....noticed she was in a parent / baby car parking space with no child....may have frowned a little, but was so busy with the baby buckles on the car seat that my attention was quickly diverted...anyway she thought it was appropriate to back out of the car parking space, open her window and call me a "judgemental fucking arse hole." So shocked I just stood there staring at her. She was probably having a really bad day.

Driving around an island I got overtaken then cut up by the same car then seconds later another car jumps out in front of me (I had to brake so no definitely not enough room) I told my boss one more near miss I would have parked up and walked home

I'm convinced there's something in the social media argument too. I love technology, gaming etc. It's my research subject. But the ability to anonymously hate is giving people the excuse to get angrier and angrier and that is coming out in real life. It's almost as if they know that there are more entitled and nasty people out there so it's justified.

@CrazyCatNerd - that's such a shame! You can't let such arsehole behaviour set you back.

No wonder it kicks off with some people-what if the people with these anger issues collide!!

I find train travel interesting (I avoid it at all costs though!! Lots of angry people on trains!!

I don’t think it’s so much uncontrollable rage as a failure to control range. A normal person doesn’t behave that way unless incredibly stressed. You are right. But many people have no idea how to behave. I think it’s more likely the case that these people are just allowing themselves to throw a tantrum when a normal person would sit in silent irritation for a moment and then get on with it. Not stress or a mental health crisis. Just bad manners.

I think it’s a whole host of things. Including entitlement, lack of respect, reality tv shows where it’s normalised and acceptable that people shout at each other. It worries me. I had a car for no reason at all drive up behind me on a motorway flashing his lights (I’d not cut him up and no faults on the car) and I ended up driving into a garage where he followed me then sped off. I had two kids in the car, he was some middle aged prick driving a high spec car. I just don’t get people these days.

People seem to think they will get something sooner by being angry. I see this at work. But it just Puts our backs up.

I think it seems worse and more prolific because for instance here we are sharing stories but without the internet that wouldn’t be possible
When I worked in retail 90s-00s it was horrific.
I do agree that social media has given people the keyboard warrior mentality and they forget there’s a real person at the end of it. Plus being tough is definitely seen as a virtue. Look at z listers and reality TV stars and how they behave. “I say it as I see it” “I’m just being honest” “I’m blunt” all seen as virtues (funnily enough they never like it when people are honest with them). Watch the first Big Brother and compare it with the later ones.

People do seem much more angry these days

DD was out hacking her pony along a bridleway for a lesson at a nearby yard. I was on foot so a little way behind

After the 709641th bike had gone whizzing past without slowing or giving her any room, pony started to get a bit nervy

2 MAMILs come storming towards us, clearly racing each other - first one whizzes past, without slowing down so close DD felt his shoulder brush her foot and the second one shouts ‘get out of the fucking way’.

At this pony spooks - nothing major, just a bit of dancing around but MAMIL 2 has to stop

Anyway, he gets off his bike, flings it at DD and pony and proceeds to shout and swear, call DD a ‘fucking posh cunt’ ‘get out of the way you stupid bitch’

Calls me a cunt when I step in

Pony really now does spook and rears. Bloke calls proper stamps his foot, gets on his bike and rides off

Luckily, his whole temper tantrum was caught on my DD’s helmet cam and so he’s been reported to the police.

Oh my god, Elly! Your poor dd. How old is she??

I just think its this impatience people seem to have. My 42 year old sister is a new driver & from the second she passed she turned into a rageful impatient driver and uses her horn constantly to show shes annoyed. Shes had 3 car accidents now due to her inability to be patient.

I remember going to a works do with DH. I'd never met his work friends & we were sat in a pub so i just sort of sat there and took it all in. Piped up when i could but there was a lot of shop talk so i mostly just sat next to DH listening quite happily.

Next thing i know one of his colleagues stands up, gets in my face & starts screaming at me asking what my fucking problem is, and did i think i was better than everyone else. My DH & his colleagues ended up having to drag her away & out the pub whilst i sat there having no clue what just happened.

Some of these stories are shocking!

She’s 14

DD has given up hacking on our bridleways at weekends as a rule - this isn’t the first time she’s encountered behaviour like this, or the last unfortunately

Her lesson had to be rearranged from a week afternoon

He was wearing a local cycle club top so should be fairly easy to identify

Afflicted with such an extreme case of the wankers
Love this, if there will be no danger to me I will say this to the next entitled wanker that has a go.

Elly, you should contact that club!

And I would plaster the incident everywhere. Name and shame the fucker!

@Treefloof just make sure you have a quick getaway!

I agree. I was waiting to enter an awkward car park last week while a woman was trying to park her enormous SUV. She started gesturing at me aggressively, flapping her hands, but I couldn’t go back (main road) and I couldn’t squeeze past her as her tyres were right over to the right. I politely shook my head, had my 3 yo in the back, then this woman’s mate stomped up to my window and loudly told me to go round, you could fit a bus through there etc. I did squeeze past then but was too shocked to say anything. I am actually a decent driver and I’m cross at myself that I let these two wallies bully me. I sound like such a wuss but it really bothered me! We were at a reservoir and I saw them going round after that all miserable as sin and shouting at their little girl. Obviously having a bad day and I was on the receiving end but it’s so rude!

My ex SIL was terrible for picking fights out of thin air with me and my parents. All arrive at the beach with babies and pushchairs and her empty pushchair got blown over by the wind as we were getting out of the cars and she just lost it at us, screaming about nobody giving her a hand. She picked a fight with my mum that holiday too for not including her in anything. And another time her two year old asked me to make him a cup of tea. I asked her if he was allowed. Yes she said. So I made it, put it out carefully to the side, told her and him it was still really hot, he grabbed it straight away and some tea spilled on his hand and she went berserk at me. Why would you give a toddler a scalding cup of tea? You’re an idiot.

I’d like to say I held my ground but I just went off a cried. I’m so bad at confrontation. God I sound like a right doormat.

I got so much abuse for parking in blue badge bays with a valid blue badge and baby hooked up to oxygen equipment. Probably 6 incidents in 10 months the majority at supermarkets Asda.

DH who is built like a brick shit house to put it nicely funny enough never experienced anything of the sort while out and about with DS.

I work with the general public. Yes, people are getting rider and no, it isn’t “young people” by and large who are the worst for it.

That dubious honour goes to those within the Baby Boomer age brackets. I’m not being ageist, it is an accurate description of those who feel most entitled to speak to their fellow human beings like they’re a piece of shit on their shoe.

*ruder

Elly - post that footage on social media, preferably his club's

I have been told by some of my colleagues that they are concerned about our current cohort of students. Many of them have very poor resilience and coping skills. Some see a failing grade as a personal affront, and others view constructive criticism as a personal attack.

I have not seen them yet because I usually teach courses that occur later in the program. I have to admit I am somewhat nervous about the fall term.