To think there are too many pearl clutches around here nowadays.

[KindleAndCake]

I've been here a long time now, under various names. I dont come on here as much as I used to, but there was a time where we would have laugh, be kind and courteous to each other and let the big things slide. Now you cant even hint at something being light hearted without some miserable fucker jumping on you with their judgements and clutching their pearls.

It just ain't the same anymore

Shit, forgot to add lighthearted in the title

I think there's people that assume that if people disagree with something they are 'clutching their pearls'. But they are just disagreeing.

You definitely get jumped on for commenting that this place has changed though. You aren't allowed to say that.

When I joined in 2011 there was far less name changing so it was better in that respect. I think I am allowed to state that. Hopefully.

It bloody has changed though, but society has changed too.

I've been here years under different names. I think the people that post on mn now have changed.
It used to be very much middle class but now it's a much broader section of society who have many varying viewpoints. So inevitably you'll get people who have no experience other than their own in an Aibu situation and can't possibly understand other experiences are out there.

So they get all pearly clutchy. And to be fair I nearly throttled myself clutching mine so tightly earlier with one thread on here

It's the nastiness too. I was reading a post earlier, it was quite tongue in cheek from the OP, but these people were replying in such judgemental and horrified ways. It was really a light hearted laugh. Others were commenting on the way these PC's were commenting, so it was just me.
Nowadays I open a thread, see all the shit and close it again. People dont even try to see the point, they just jump in with their own views with very little feeling towards the OP.

*wasn't just me

I also imagine that some of threads in classics from years ago wouldn't have got in there now.

Yes, society become more intolerant, and its reflected in Mumsnet, the sanctimonious and competitive MeToo brigade.

To quote James Bartholomew, we now have a culture which "imposes guilt and encourages anger".

MN is full of the "politics of outrage".

Of course it was always a fairly unpleasant place . But there were jokes, a sense of humour, kindness and understanding (rarely but it existed!).

I only really come here for the existential stuff, occasionally to try to advise/help people (or get the same) or practical things e.g. recipes. Once in a blue moon I laugh out loud, and wish I could shake the hand of the poster who was so bright, funny and clever to make that happen. But thats a rare occurence, these days.

I think it's social media that's done it. I know MN is social media, but in the old days it was in it's infancy and things were funny and more polite and supportive. With the rise of Twitter, Facebook and comments sections flooded with troll posts and vitriol, people are more used to cutting soundbites.

I think it's the other way, people can be vicious and nasty. It's like daring yourself to post something knowing you'll probably get torn to shreds over it.

Also I'm not a fan of the term "pearl clutchers" as I feel like it's always used in a demeaning way towards women and their opinions so I try not to use it but I understand your meaning when you use it.

Perhaps if you didn’t apply tired sexist stereotypes to people who disagree with you, they might interact with you more positively?

I thought this was going to be about handbags😂😂😂😂

I used pearl clutches in jest

I think there are a lot more goady comments now. The 'wow, just wow' and the is used more.

i dislike the term 'pearl clutchers' too as it implies the poster is Hyacinth Bucket type. I'm a working glass girl but have disagreed with posters or stood up for what I think is important only to be branded a pearl clutter. It is a way of shutting people down. Similar to 'life is too short to iron', 'get a life' etc etc

Typo central!

I have been here in numerous names over the years and I feel it has got a very nasty tone the past 2 years. The judgement, name calling and moral police are all a bit much on here most days. There is a big clique as well. Some days I think its who wants to make a poster feel like shit the quickest. And if I hear go to a day spa one more time it will be too soon!

So what? Whether you think it’s a joke or not - and it might be worth remembering that jokes are supposed to be funny - you are still applying a tired sexist stereotype. To then whine when people react badly to you is, well, a bit dim.

I should of added that good old debate is now lost on here. No one debates it's all a race to who can make someone else look like a fool the quickest.

I think some of it is this topic. People post all sorts of stuff here which really should be elsewhere but they know there is more traffic & somehow it makes it goady.

I agree with that lucky some posters never venture out of AIBU and have a bit of a skewed view of MN Talk as they believe that's all it is.

But none of us are here under duress are we?

I agree Kindle - I've been here since it was fields and only namechanged recently

I'm always nervous about posting a response on here - the two times I did, I was scolded like a naughty 5 year old.

But that being said, there are always a few judgmental, tactless, pearl clutching people where-ever you go.

On the other hand, if you open the door and ask for a person's thoughts, sometimes they aren't going to be pleasant - at least they're honest.... x

It's not just on here, everyone seems to be perpetually offended these days in real life too. It's very tedious.

There's a lot of faux-ffended posters that's for sure.

I think there are a lot of high earners & what used to be regarded as upper class posters on here who don't understand & don't want to understand the things the less privileged face every day. Some of the comments I have seen on threads about social housing, disability benefits & general welfare benefits have sometimes been disgusting, these people have obviously never been in the position of needing any of these things & don't understand how difficult life is for people near or below the poverty line, I'm sure they think food banks are some kind of propaganda & not something that thousands have to rely in.